Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Wanted to let you all know that we did get temporary custody of our granddaughters (ages 4 and 19 months) on thursday. Both bio mom and bio dad only get supervised visitation with them through us or the kids other grandmother. We were so excited. She never showed up for court on thursday but I kept close tabs on her this past week and where she was going. She did try to run with them but I was able to know her where abouts by following her without her knowing it. Maybe I should have been a detective lol. I had some very good friends give us some clothing and shoes to get us started with them. My son gave us a baby bed for the little one and I already had a full size bed in the spare room for the older child. I went yesterday and got wic for them. That is a big help. They gave us no problem in getting it. I slso went to our Job and Family services for children. I applied for bennefits for the girls. They said I would need to come back on September 11 for an appointment to see what we qualify for. She did state at my interview with her yesterday that we would not get food stamps for the girls because my husband and I make to much. So through all this time we have to wait it looks like we wont get anything from them till the end of September. The bio mom is getting assistance for the children in another county. She lives in a different county than we do in ohio. She will probably get their benefits for them for September and get to use them for herself. I am so angry over this. They told me since it is so late in the month they may not be able to stop her from getting them. We talked with her and she said she would give us 50 dollars of food stamps for the girls for the month of september. she gets 516 dollars a month for her and the two kids. I was so mad that she only would give them 50 dollars. I am calling the county she lives in and turning her in for this. I dont know if they will do anything or not but she really makes me mad doing that. She called last night and asked if she could borrow money to get something to eat because she didnt have anything. I told my husband hell no she is getting nothing from us. That is his daughter not mine. She never asked about the kids just wanted money from us. How can someone do that. Sorry for venting a little bit. The case worker from children services told us as soon as we get the first check for the girls to save 180 dollars and petition for legal custody. She said this is going to be long term with us having them. I was wondering if anyone has had any experience in doing this? Bio father is not going to contest it but I am not sure if bio mother will. we are not able to get other help like kinship funds and being able to make other decisions for the girls. she told us we didnt need an attorney to do this just petition through the courts and the money she said we would need is just filing fees and court costs. On top of that my doctor told me i could not go back to my job i was doing because of the stress level and i have panic disorder along with mood disorder nos. I was not able to pass the fitness of duty exam to be able to perform my duties as a 911 dispatcher. That is going to put us in a very bad place. I will lose my money as of october 20th this year and our insurance. i am not sure what we will do then. both my husband and i are on meds for our health and take them on a daily basis. I am more concerned about having money to keep our house and getting things for the children. My husband is working but he only make 9.75 an hour and is not offered health insurance. Does anyone know of any help we may qualify when this happens? I am looking for work but there is just no jobs out there. My doctor says I am not totally disabled to qualify for disablity. I just keep reminding myself to take one day at a time and things will work out. If anyone has any suggestions it would be greatly appreicated. Thanks to all.
We did go to all that trouble, and she never showed up for the custody hearing, so we got them very easily and quickly. (Neither sperm donor showed up, either). We consider it permanent, because there is no sign that my husband's daughter will ever straighten up for more than a couple of weeks at a time.
I would focus more on YOU. It appears you have/had a good job as a dispatcher. Is there any way you can get further treatment so that you can return to it? At least it's shift work, which could allow you some space to help with the kids plus get some quiet time for yourself.
As for benefits, we found that the greatest expense is food. Our grocery bill nearly tripled, but we're raising three kids not two -- that seems to be the tipping point. Also, we're not as thrifty as we could be when grocery shopping, although we've started making a menu for the week and shopping to that. This has saved us a lot of money - we could do more, I know :-)
Clothing is a twice-yearly expense, and furniture, of course, a one-time thing. Other than that, the kids don't seem to be costing us all that much more money. (Pampers were something else, though!)
Once agian Congrats !!!!
CONGRATS on getting the children. We all know they are going to be safer and healthier with you now...
We filed for custody through the court and the bios agreed. They showed up and singed over custody of my GS, very easy. However I dont know your situation but mine is this. After my daughter had my GS she was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and BPD her and dad tried to raise my GS but quickly found out they couldnt and ask us to raise him. They are still part of his life and he knows them and spends time with both them. However not as much with me daughter as the dad, she just cant handle the stress of caring for him alone for long periods of time. The dad takes him once or twice a week for about two hours and takes him to see his family. He also pays child support every week, while there are weeks that he will skip but always catches it up before the month is out. They do want to do what is best for my GS and I commend them for that. While things are not perfect and I have my moments of frustrations with them it is working.
As for the expenses my husband lost his job last August and we lost our home our car everything. He lived in a friends basement for about six months while my GS and I slept in a recliner at my parents. My husband found another job and we are slowly beginning to tread water however we still go under for a moment every once in a while but we are still adjusting to living on less than half the income we were used to. Just keep the faith and well pray for you. And know you are not alone.