Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I"m so excited, but i'm trying to not get too excited. We were granted temporary guardianship today. The judge made it very clear that it was temporary, he's assigned the kids an attorney and at our next hearing in Feburary we'll know what the next steps are. Our daughter was not to happy, but now she seems a little to happy. She made it clear to the judge that she did NOT want us to have guardianship, and he made it clear that this was temporary, he seems to really side with her, which I find odd. But also understand his position and that of the law which is protecting the bios rights as much as posslble. What about the rights of the kids?
I agree with GMaWilli ~ document document document. Even if you think its minute, document document document. You'd be surprised at how far this will go. One thing I have to constantly remember is that the courts work on facts and not emotions. I hate that though because we can't always show facts and leave emotions out of it.
Maybe these next few months, your daughter will come around and see that this is what's in the best interest of your gd. Maybe you and your husband can try to talk to her about a permanent placement. She will calm down eventually.
I honestly don't think that many (if any) judges have the best interests of the children in mind. They aren't around any of us except for a few moments once or twice a year. I honestly don't feel that the judges really care about the kids rights.
My best advice is don't let the kid's attorney bully you, belittle you or anything else. I've heard others on here have problems with them. Be firm but be cooperative.
We were fortunate that Pinky was so into her drug addiction that she was high whenever we would discuss taking the kids. All she thought about was her next fix, so she'd do anything to make sure she could get it - including signing her kids over.
In NJ all you can get is temporary (unless you adopt). But our temporary is permanent - no end date, no plan for the bio, and visitation is at our discretion. I would think that the longer you have custody, and the more you can prove that stability and consistency are what the kids need, the more likely you'll keep them.
Please document!
I started a journal from day one. I committed myself to write in the journal everything. Who I spoke to and from what agency. What was said and from who. What I saw at visits and heard at visits. Who I called and when they returned my call. Even how the children acted!
You would not believe how that journal helped me in court with the Judge and the Childrens GAL. Yes I had emotions in this journal as well, I highlighted the facts at time of court. I told the Judge facts are what you want to look at which are highlighted, emotions are part of life and I did not want to scrubbing the Journal as I can prove the datelines. And information.
Congratulations!
My attorney called yesterday and told me we now have legal temporary custody of our Grand too. I won't relax til the final papers are signed by the courts though. Either parent could so easily change their mind and fight the papers they have already signed.
I agree on documenting everything!!! I actually need to start doing this too, just in case. I know someday my daughter will try and take the little one back and I need to have every missed call and visit documented to prove that she should not get her back.
Good luck to you. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!