Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
My husband's daughter was at our house last week and complained of a bladder infection. She has gotten several and was even hospitalized with a kidney infection last year. Of course she had lost her antibiotics, and I told her that when she went back to her place she absolutely needed to get back on them.
Of course, she didn't. She bought some over-the-counter crapioli.
She came back down to our house this week and naturally got a severe kidney infection. My husband had to drive her to the ER. Last night she called and said she was ready to come home, so it was my turn to pick her up.
The nurse was going over her antibiotic when she said "and here are your Percocets." I yelled "NO!" and the nurse looked at me in shock. "Why not?" she asked. "Because she's an addict that Percocets are her favorite drug!" I couldn't even believe the doctor prescribed such a strong painkiller - especially since my husband's daughter said her fever had broken and the back pain was going away.
Anyway, I told her to tear up the prescription, but she had snatched it from the nurse and was holding onto it for dear life. Hey -- she had just hit the jackpot! So I told her if she didn't give the prescription to the nurse or to me I would leave her there. I left, called my husband, and came back to give her one more chance to give me the prescription. She refused and I drove home.
Apparently she kept calling my husband as I drove home, claiming she tore up the prescription. My husband told her she was full of it and told her to get a ride back to her place with someone else.
She never did show up for her things, which we placed in the driveway.
She had to have asked for Percocets, because every time she goes to the ER she gets them. Unless ER doctors hand them out to everyone for every little pain.
AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!
Of course, she didn't. She bought some over-the-counter crapioli.
She came back down to our house this week and naturally got a severe kidney infection. My husband had to drive her to the ER. Last night she called and said she was ready to come home, so it was my turn to pick her up.
The nurse was going over her antibiotic when she said "and here are your Percocets." I yelled "NO!" and the nurse looked at me in shock. "Why not?" she asked. "Because she's an addict that Percocets are her favorite drug!" I couldn't even believe the doctor prescribed such a strong painkiller - especially since my husband's daughter said her fever had broken and the back pain was going away.
Anyway, I told her to tear up the prescription, but she had snatched it from the nurse and was holding onto it for dear life. Hey -- she had just hit the jackpot! So I told her if she didn't give the prescription to the nurse or to me I would leave her there. I left, called my husband, and came back to give her one more chance to give me the prescription. She refused and I drove home.
Apparently she kept calling my husband as I drove home, claiming she tore up the prescription. My husband told her she was full of it and told her to get a ride back to her place with someone else.
She never did show up for her things, which we placed in the driveway.
She had to have asked for Percocets, because every time she goes to the ER she gets them. Unless ER doctors hand them out to everyone for every little pain.
AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!
So if she can get a doctor to write a script for Percocets, Oxys, Valium, etc., she gets her fix -- and the rest of us pay for her habit - at the same time we're paying for her "drug treatment" which includes methadone and Seboxin.
Isn't that nice? We're paying twice for the same thing.
Also, i'm sure she views every ER visit as a trip to nirvana, because she got herself a narcotic IV while she was there plus the prescription for Percocets. So she would never admit she's an addict, and I'm sure she'd deny it if asked.
I just can't believe the nurse didn't snatch the script back, but my husband's daughter grabbed it so quickly and held it to her chest that I don't think the nurse had a chance.
May sound harsh but is really true.
When I came back she was walking down the hallway, clutching the prescription, and I said "give me the prescription and I'll drive you home," and she said no, so I left for good.
One time before she was in a very, very, very minor bus accident and they were all taken to the ER as a precaution. She was still in rehab, in the recovery house phase. She got Percocets that time and went right back to using.
Why do they prescribe these drugs like they're candy, anyway? What happened to good ol' ibuprophen, aspirin, or acetominophen? Or putting up with the pain?
Maybe I overreact, but with our grandchildren, if they complain about something I tell them to wait 10 minutes and if the pain is still there we'll do something. If it's a stomach ache I try natural remedies like ginger tea or ginger ale. If they have a bump or muscle pain I try ice packs and kisses first -- anything to keep them from thinking that a pill will cure anything and everything.
It's not just the ER - it's a lot of Drs.
Part of the reason I ended up having to leave my ex is because he abuses prescription and OTC drugs. Every night he'd get high and every day he'd abuse the kids and I, both verbally and physically - I had several life-threats.
I went to two of his doctors, but they did not even listen to me. They kept prescribing the VERY drugs he was abusing, including the addictive ones. He'd get the same drugs from both docs.
Neither of them would listen to me at all. They only believed him. I went to my pastor. He wouldn't listen. They all believed him. My kids and I ended up leaving. We absolutely couldn't stay. I honestly believe he was very capable of killing someone during his highs.
I am a very truthful person. I have been called "too truthful". I often think I am too truthful for my own good - like in job interviews. But still these people would not believe me. Of course, my ex was a cop, which of course stamps him with approval!
*sigh* It is a HUGE problem in this country and I don't know what the answer is.
Back in the 70s I worked with major pharm companies and it really seemed on the up-and-up. But nowadays with so much more competition, and with doctors making less money per visit, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out they're all getting kickbacks.
High cholesterol? They don't mention diet -- out comes the statin prescription. Anxiety? No talk therapy -- out comes the antianxiety prescription. Depressed? Don't wait another minute -- I have some drugs for ya!
What's even worse is that many of these drugs have been on the market only for a few years, so God knows what the long-term effects are.
And Oxycontins were made for terminally ill cancer patients. Who cared if they got addicted -- it killed their pain. But now if you have a hangnail you get Oxys.
It's disgusting.
I work for an Emergency Room physician's billing company and know a lot of ER doc's personally. The ER's function is, for the most part, designed for true emergencies and pain control for "the unexpected" events of our lives. The problem is when people mis-use the ER for non-emergencies, or make bad choices, like your daughter. ER doc's are not primary care physicians and we can't expect them to know everything about a patient the way a primary care physician does. It is the patient's responsibility to be honest about their condition and tell the ER doctor about their history of drug use, etc.
It sounds like the doctor gave the "standard of care" for that condition. I presume he confirmed her infection with lab tests. The standard treatment, after positive labs, is specific types of antibiotics, and pain control--because pain generally is one of the symptoms with infectious processes. If he does not do the standard treatment for a condition, he can be sued--so that is a catch-22.
It is not a nurse's responsibility to get in between a family arguement, no matter what the topic is. However, the nurse should have reported the episode immediately to the physician. The situation was handled badly. I hope this is an unusual exception for this hospital.
Most ER's try to be very careful about drug seekers and keep careful records of "frequent fliers" and drug seeking behavior. You can report her history to the physician who treated her, so there is a record on file for future visits. Some hospitals are on linked computer systems where the ER doctor can look at all the ER visits a patient has for the community or even statewide--and they can easily spot a drug seeker. But not every state or every community is on board with systems like this.
I too, am frustrated with the easy access to drugs within the medical system. I agree there are some doctors who irresponsibly over prescribe pain medication. But we can't just say "all" doctors are like this, anymore than we can say "all" patients abuse the system.
We can fix our own behavior's and the way we respond to other's actions. What we can't do, unfortunately, is change another person when they don't want to change. I keep trying to persuade my son to change and be a responsible parent for his daughter--but I know it probably isn't going to happen.
I think that she either exaggerated her pain and requested Percs or she genuinely stumbled upon a winning lottery ticket. I don't think she's the type who goes to the ER routinely, but who knows what's going on with her personal doctors? Like most addicts, she is also so incredibly manipulative she can get you to doubt what you know to be absolutely true!
In a lot of ways, an addict is like one of those horror movies, where something possesses the character. On the surface, the character remains normal, but underneath lurks something evil - and the character's friends and family don't seem to notice. The audience keeps yelling "don't fall for it!" "don't believe her!" but of course the actors do and next thing you know they've been possessed as well.