So biomom calls me saying she is depressed and thinking of suicide occasionally. I talked to her and told her she needs to get help. she seemed to think no one could help her and nothing would ever change and she is tired and broke and cant take anymore. She said she might let me take the baby awhile but she doesn't want to be seen as a weak mother. Also, she didnt get to raise her son as a baby and didnt want to lose that with her daughter.I told her she has people willing to help her and she has to be willing to allow people to help her. She called back and I gave her the number to county mental health. SHe says the friend she lives with agreed to watch the baby for a couple days while she gets her head straight, and that would determine wether or not the baby comes to my house.

Last night the friend called me, biomom was/had been fighting with biodud. She had to pull the car over because biomom(who is driver) was hysterically crying and couldn't breathe. I told them to just stay there, relax, breathe. Get out of the car and have a ciggarette. Baby was in back seat, had already eaten and was playing happily so no need to try to rush off, just breathe. She cried about 30 minutes or so, before she could calm down enough to drive.

Part of me (OK 5%) wants me to take her back in. This is my daughter. I love her. The other 95% says I cannot do that. she can't get along with anyone, she will bring chaos, upheaval, arguing, fighting, screaming. My gs is doing great without her here. another time period with her in the house is just going to endanger him either by unathorized boyfriends/friends or by ripping his heart out when we can't take her anymore and have to throw her out again. Last time she lived here she proved I cannot protect the new baby or gs from her friends. SHe kept him out overnight and I didnt know where he was. I was calling hospitals and police. She had taken him (2yo) and the newborn , with a female friend, and spent the night in the house with 3 guys, 2 of which were criminals/ex cons/drug charges....

Police said nothing they could do because she is allowed unsupervised visits...



She called me agian and says she thinks she has postpartum, the baby is 4 1/2 months. She has always been a bit unstable. I think she's BPD but undiagnosed. I told her again to call mental health, if shes postpartum, they can treat that.



I feel guilty for not wanting to take on another baby. However, I am afraid the baby is going to get neglected or hurt where she is living. I have an awesome planned vacation in 2 weeks that I have already paid the hotel bill on.

This really sucks. I want her to grow up and raise her daughter. I feel it is too late for her to get her son back, as he's been with me almost 2 years.

She is a beautifull fat baby girl. Smiles alot. Only neglect I see is when I see her on weekends,she comes over in dirty clothes and needing a bath. And whatever I put on her, I have to change her clothes next day as mom hasn't bothered. My husband had been layed off and wathces 2yo. I'll have to come up with 100 a week to put her in daycare. I already have to shoulder most of our bills.

Don't get me wrong, I'd do it for the baby. But although I feel guilty, I don't want to have to.