like you i wait for this call as well. sometimes as along as i know the dd is alive i am ok with her not being here for the gd. sometimes i pretend like she is already dead! our society is so riddled with this problem it is scary. you can not meet or talk to a person who does not have this problem some where in his/her life. very scary times we live in.

It's true. Most people don't talk about it, but the moment we bring up our situation they share their own stories. It doesn't matter rich or poor, famous or not, drugs are taking over more people and the kids (and grandparents) suffer.

I told myself a long time ago that the daughter I knew died. So, I've already mourned that girl quite a bit. At least... this is what I tell myself.

I always said that I was glad that I was raising my kids when I was and that I wouldn't have to raise kids when MY kids would be raising theirs. Remember when Michael Jackson was a cute little kid in the Jackson 5???

Even when my kids were growing up things were getting bad and the writing was on the wall. (well, the writing's BEEN on the wall for many years, but we won't go there...lol).

But guess what, here I am, raising one anyway. Sometimes I think the Lord has a very strange sense of humor??!!??

I too wait for the call, but it wasn't MJ's death that started that, it was the friend that got that call one night:( The daughter I raised died, but she already wasn't the daughter born to me, since she had a prolonged siezure at 22 months that changed her also. But you know I was so greatful because she was alive! So I know that even though she is not the daughter I raised I know that the pain will be there when I get that call!

Hugs and prayers to us all!!

I have been waiting for that phone call since my son was a teenager. He just turned 36 this month. I haven't seen him in over 3 years. I don't know where he is, I don't even know if anyone would call. I grieved for him for years, that sweet boy of mine. I lost him long ago to drugs and alcohol. I don't know the person he has become. Mostly I have shut down what I feel for him, numb is what I feel. I think that he has stayed away because he doesn't want his children or me to see how drugs have destroyed him. I think he stays away because he loves us enough not to put us through the pain of seeing him the way he is. His little girl asks me if Daddy is dead. I say surely not, but truthfully I have no way of knowing. Should that call come I am sure I would grieve again, but a part of me would feel relief. I would know his pain is over and not have to worry or think about what might be with him.

I think I am strong, but if I let my mind go there, I feel so sad. I miss my daughter the one I knew before she was an addict. I am realistic and I know if she does not get help soon, it will be too late for her. And in spite of what she does,in her addiction, she is a real nice person. God I miss her sometimes.
Police pulled in our driveway the other day and my heart pounded so hard it about came out of my chest. They were looking for someone in the neighborhood, nothing to do with us or family. Point is I thought I had the tough skin on, but it shook me up for the rest of the day.
And I felt such grief. I am sorry for all of us.

At least for now, my daughter is in jail and I do not have to panic every time the phone rings. I can breathe a little easier now that she is there and not getting herself beat up or doing other things that would get her hurt. Sad but true.

I live with this, too. I hope & pray to God that we don't ever get that call. It would be horrible enough for us to have to go through as parents, but more than anything, I don't ever want my GS to have to wonder why his mom or dad didn't love him enough to quit using drugs. It takes a LONG time for some adults to comprehend that we're not responsible for their addiction. I can't imagine what goes through these little kids' minds about their parents' addictions.