Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I haven't been on here for a while because of the situation with my granddaughter.Now it is over and I can tell you all what has happened.
The fostermother who pretended to be my friend went behind my back and talked my daughter and the father into signing their rights to my grandbaby to her and let her adopt the baby.I went through all of the homestudies,background checks and everything else just to be told that I was plan "B",that if the adoption don't go through then I will get her.I did everything I could and had so many people trying to help and it was all for nothing! Now I will never hold or even see my grandbaby.She won't be able to grow up with her brothers and know the love of her family.All because some people including a judge decided to allow a sevearly mentally ill person to decide what was best for a child.I was never even given a chance to present my side to the court.The foster family was allowed in the court room,the parents were there and the DCFS but as the grandmother of this baby i wasn't allowed to fight for her.I did everything I possibly could to keep my family togther and I failed.Just because I don't have much money and the foster parents have a little more they walk away with my grandbaby.
I have now cut off all contact with my dd.We had a big argument on the phone.She called and told me that she was coming back to TN to live and she was going to stay with me until she got a place.That she wanted to see "her" sons and try to get them back.It pissed me off and I told her that she didn't have any children and for that matter she didn't have a mother anymore.I let her know that these boys are mine,I am the one who has raised them and that they are mine not hers.I asked her who does she think she is that she can just walk in and out of these childrens lives after she gave their sister away.I let her know that i was going to terminate her rights and that she would never be allowed around them and that I would make sure that when they were older I would tell them everything about her and that I would show the all the court documents to prove it all.She went off asking me why I was mad at her andwhy I didn't love her.I told her that I would always love her but that I didn't like her at all and that I didn't want anything else to do with her,ever.I just couldn't take any more from her and i let her have it.
The moral of my story is never trust any one when it comes to your grandbabies because the person who you think is your friend might be a wolf in sheeps clothing.Because I trusted the wrong person I lost my granbaby.If any one wants to read more on my story I have copied all of my older posts about my granddaughter into my journal Please feel free to read them.
Thank you all for always being here for me and helping me deal with all that I have to.I don't know what I would do without you.I know that I have neglected all my friends on here for a long time but I am going to try to catch up with you all.Please just be patient with me while I do.I love you all!!!!
The fostermother who pretended to be my friend went behind my back and talked my daughter and the father into signing their rights to my grandbaby to her and let her adopt the baby.I went through all of the homestudies,background checks and everything else just to be told that I was plan "B",that if the adoption don't go through then I will get her.I did everything I could and had so many people trying to help and it was all for nothing! Now I will never hold or even see my grandbaby.She won't be able to grow up with her brothers and know the love of her family.All because some people including a judge decided to allow a sevearly mentally ill person to decide what was best for a child.I was never even given a chance to present my side to the court.The foster family was allowed in the court room,the parents were there and the DCFS but as the grandmother of this baby i wasn't allowed to fight for her.I did everything I possibly could to keep my family togther and I failed.Just because I don't have much money and the foster parents have a little more they walk away with my grandbaby.
I have now cut off all contact with my dd.We had a big argument on the phone.She called and told me that she was coming back to TN to live and she was going to stay with me until she got a place.That she wanted to see "her" sons and try to get them back.It pissed me off and I told her that she didn't have any children and for that matter she didn't have a mother anymore.I let her know that these boys are mine,I am the one who has raised them and that they are mine not hers.I asked her who does she think she is that she can just walk in and out of these childrens lives after she gave their sister away.I let her know that i was going to terminate her rights and that she would never be allowed around them and that I would make sure that when they were older I would tell them everything about her and that I would show the all the court documents to prove it all.She went off asking me why I was mad at her andwhy I didn't love her.I told her that I would always love her but that I didn't like her at all and that I didn't want anything else to do with her,ever.I just couldn't take any more from her and i let her have it.
The moral of my story is never trust any one when it comes to your grandbabies because the person who you think is your friend might be a wolf in sheeps clothing.Because I trusted the wrong person I lost my granbaby.If any one wants to read more on my story I have copied all of my older posts about my granddaughter into my journal Please feel free to read them.
Thank you all for always being here for me and helping me deal with all that I have to.I don't know what I would do without you.I know that I have neglected all my friends on here for a long time but I am going to try to catch up with you all.Please just be patient with me while I do.I love you all!!!!
Stick to your guns mamaw, I support you where your daughter is concerned. I am so sorry this has happened. Is there any recourse? A time frame where you can try to get her back?
Is there any advocates in your area that work for childrens rights??? I would get in touch with them to see what they can do to help you.
I am so so sorry I can't imagine the pain that you feel. I will pray for you and your family.
About the daughter...I agree with you . You will always love her but you don't have to like her and the balls she has saying she is going to stay with you after what she did.....she must be crazy
That one is just astounding!
as for how she got into foster care: My daughetr is mentally ill and a drug addict.She is a danger to herself and every one a round her.
Peggy
I wish I could give you words of comfort but just know that you did your best and although this foster mom deceived you, let's pray that she is a loving mother and will raise that baby in a loving, healthy environment.
God bless you for being there for all of your grandchildren! Those who live with you and those who don't.
Sara,I sat down today and wrote a letter telling my story and sent it to my congressman,senator,state representor and even our govenor here in Tn.I told them how I have had to fight for my grandchildren and how grandparents in every state who are raising their grandchildren are forgotten and allowed to fall through the crack when we all need so much more help in getting the services that we need to be able to raise our grandbabies.
Thanks for giving me the idea and getting me motivated to do it.
I too, got custody through the court and not DSS. ?They do try to keep the family together though. WE had to mortgage our house again, but it was worth it. My daughter was not on drugs or anything like that, she met a man on the internet, who was in the military. She decided to move 2800 miles away with a man she had never even met. She has no job, and was planning to live with him. Luckily the court saw that as not being stable for my gc who has lived with us since birth...along with his mom. It was so hard for us to have to say things about her that were not positive, but we did because of our grandson. He was 4 1/2 when she left. He is now 6 and is in first grade. It is hard on him at times and his behavior is not great all the time. We see a counselor, who helps tremendously. He is happy and doesn't want to live with her. WE allow her to come here to visit , but he cannot go there. The courts say we do not have to even let her talk to him. Since she isn't on drugs or alcohol, and she does love him, we let her talk to him anytime and she can come here to see him anytime. She now has a 4 month old and seems to be doing well with him. She plans on coming home with the guy is deployed to Iran in September, and stay with us,. Not sure how that will work out....
You really need to contact the local group that advocates for grandparents with grandchildren. 'they even help with attorney fees. Our group has an attorney on the board of directors and she is great when someone needs help.
I wish you the best and hope you can gain custody of the child. She deserves her family that loves her. Don't give up. I am praying for you.