Steadying support, Catskyn. It do get weary.

The oldest of my GKs just turned 8 and has been with me since he was 6. His sisters were 3 and 8 months when they started living with me. They are currently awaiting a visit with their maternal family and the "Rubber Band Effect" is blowing me away. The maternal family is doing their trademark wishy wash and every delay in plans is bring out more and more of the dysfunctional coping mechanisms they used to cope with the circumstances that earned them a place in the foster care system to start with.

God, please grant me patience. NOW, goddammit! ! !

Under my circumstances CPS advised me not to let my grandson see his father ever again. A huge part of me didn't think that was going to be a good idea for my grandson. Now six years later I question my decision. Do you Have to let the kid's see them now? Maybe they should wait until those memories of them being wishy wash will go away and in a later time they can handle better.

In my case, both parents were killed in a traffic accident, September 2019, nearly a year after they were taken into protective custody. The visitations with the maternal family were mandated as part of the agreement which gave us custodial guardianship. The current wishy wash is feeding the piece of me which believes they will lose interest as soon as they run out of options for obtaining government options on behalf of the children; that they never did want the children as much as they wanted more welfare checks. The entire family lives on one government benefit or another.

"All happy families are the same.
"Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." ~Leo Tolstoy

I'll be jigged if I know what is Right or Wrong for this mind-warping body of twists and turns. My mantra for getting through one round at a time is, "Let God lead the dance."

Amen to that ! My grandson was born addicted to Herion and spent his first year of life in Foster Care having seizures. Then my daughter got him back and relapsed and hod father took him. His girlfriend landed up locking him in closets and beating him. He landed up in the system where he was molested in FosterCare by six boy's, He also has autism 1 and other issues. If I didn't have God. I don't know wha tI'd do

My GKs were 2 and 4 when they were ceased into protective custody due to neglect and ongoing domestic disputes. The 3rd sibling was born into protective custody. Neither parent were active drug users, but the advocates of drug therapy sure thought they should've been. I guess that now we will never know if drug compliance would have solved as many problems as Big Pharma promotes. They started their foster care with the severely disabled maternal parents because we live 3 hours north of where the parents lived. After the second custody hearing, CPS approached us about taking custody. They were not happy with the way things were going with either the maternal kinship care nor with the progress the parents were making in regaining custody. Even the parents wanted the children out of the maternal family home and were willing to make the 3 hour drive for their weekly visit rather than have them learn the morbidly obese lifestyle the maternal family lives. The fatal car wreck happened on their 3rd weekly visit. Ouch. The seceding months felt a bit like the immaculate conception of triplets at age 65.

Something broke in all three of these children during that short and comparatively mild foster care experience. I don't know what, much less how to heal ^it^, but. . . I honestly believe I have no choice but to let God lead the healing dance, one step at a time.

Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer. . .

Yes you are right

I so understand. Keep your chin up!