Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

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The legal system (UGH!!!!)

horsepad
horsepad
Hi everyone,

Just wanted to vent......

I saw another attorney to get a second opinion. My atty said there is no way I could ever adopt my gd's. This atty. agreed that "all the stars and planets would have to align perfectly" for the judge to grant adoption. She explained that the judge would rule in my favor on the bio dads if they had not attempted to seek visitation for a year. It will be a year for one bio in December (he wrote me a letter when he got out of prison last November and would have been one year for the other bio in February but.........
Here's the amazing part-tlast month this bio pursued me riding my bike with my gd. He was high on something and very adament I allow him to visit his daughter. He was yelling, crying and telling me "I know where you live". I filed a police report and they wanted to charge him with menancing but I refused because I am in fear of retribution from him. The atty told me this "meancing" would legally be considered an "attempt for visitation" and I have to wait another year before I can file on that bio. How crazy is that!!!! And because he will be in prison soon for a slew of criminal charges, I may have to wait till after he gets out to start the "one year without an attempt for visitation".

Then she continues to tell me that at the next hearing IF the bios lost their parental rights, the judge would determine if I would be a good parent for the girls and she said the judge would never consider me a fit parent because I have stage 4 cancer and will be dying. But it's ok to be their legal guardian?????? and have stage 4 cancer.

Needless to say I am heartbroken but will still pursue adoption. I feel I must, just to know I tried even if unsuccessful.
SaraBT
SaraBT
OMG, I can't believe that menacing is interpreted as a request for visitation!!! Sometimes the law just makes no sense at all.

I don't blame you for pursuing the adoption. Going by their argument that your cancer should prevent you from it, why not just take away babies born to women with stage 4 cancer?

I can't imagine how frustrating this is for you!!!!
daisydduck
daisydduck
r least "daddy" w be bhind bars. he sounds scary.
nutsandbolts
nutsandbolts
Horse heads, I know this must be extremely hard on you. Trying to do what's best for your GC and in away trying to get your affairs in order with your diagnoses. I'm so sorry the legal system can't see this. You know, when we adopted our GC, our lawyer told us in front of our daughter, she can request adoption from us in five years. I was floored and I couldn't figure out why this can be done and why he would say such a thing in front of bio mom. On top of that, picking my husband jaw up off the floor too! DD rights were terminated, we fought hard to get the kids from the state and not to mention the money we spent doing so! After an hour or so of hearing my husband rant and rave, I came to the conclusion, it may be the state law, but it doesn't mean it's going to happen. DD would have to really get her act in order for the state to allow it. So go with your gut feelings. Just because the lawyers feel you won't get their ok to adopt, it's up to the Judge and make sure you have your say in the court room so your words are heard from you and not from a lawyers mouth. This isn't going to change your diagnosis, and only a blind man would think it would. I don't feel your head is in the sand about your diagnosis either, I believe you when you say,your wanting to make sure the children will be cared for when you're no longer able to care for them. I believe the Judge would hear this from you as well.

Good luck my dear, my prayers are being sent your way
daisydduck
daisydduck
Nuts and bolts, look up adoption laws in your state. When parents rights are terminated and you adopt, all records are changed to reflect you as birth parents and a new birth certificate is sent to you. By law, all records must be destroyed with bio parents names on it. When we moved, we reviewed school records to be sure only our names were in record. If we found the school did not clean records we had the right to sue. I w challenge lawyer. There is no way your dd can get children back.
nutsandbolts
nutsandbolts
I'm still having a problem getting a birth certificate with our names as parents on them. I call the number giving and they keep saying the courts have not sent the paper work to them yet. I try my lawyer and he doesn't answer my calls. Daisy I'm not going to let this keep me up at night. Five years will come and go. If she is going to take my laywer up on what he said, as I see it...The judge would be stupid and she would have to prove alot.
BuffyS
BuffyS
Did the lawyer give you the application for a replacement birth certificate showing you as bio parent? That was the second step in our adoption process, right after we got the final judgment approving the adoption. The lawyers had us complete a form to be filed with the Dept of Vital Statistics, I think it was, which the law office filed, and we got the new birth certificate shortly after that. Chase down your lawyer! You've already paid them for the adoption and that is part of it.