Pamella, you bring up such an important point! Our three bug the daylights out of me, yet our other three don't. When they're here they get away with murder because they're just being grandchildren. But our three hear us all day long. "Clean up your room!" "Hold that fork this way!" "Do your homework now or else!" "Go to your rooms!!!!!"

I feel terrible for them, because they really don't have grandparents. The other set is, unfortunately, Pinky's mother (who has cleaned up her act, but a bit too late) who lives 1,000 miles away. Our three will never know what it's like to be spoiled rotten and loved by a real granny.

Last night I had a young lady over and we were trying to talk. She had brought her nephew over to play with my GS. My GS was just being annoying. He wouldn't leave the room and let us talk in peace. He kept wanting to get right in the middle of us, or stay in the same room and be loud instead of going and playing with his friend so that the adults could talk. Then he wouldn't pick up toys when it was time. I was short tempered and getting angry. I rarely have adults over to talk and he doesn't get that many playdates, so I just wanted him to leave us alone for awhile! I kept scolding him and I know I sounded as crabby as he was making me feel. He was at my feet rolling around and I got hold of his arm and pulled him up to get face to face with him and scold him again. I looked at my visitor and said, "I bet you never see your mom do that to the grandkids, huh?" And she kind of looked at me with big eyes and said, "No, but I have the same situation. I'm the aunt but I have to be the one to discipline alot." She is the sister of my goddaughter and she takes care of her 3 kids a LOT; like she's their 2nd mom. I was enjoying our visit so much. I just wanted some time w/o interruptions. I would think my GS would just be so happy to have a playmate, but I think he was afraid he'd miss something because he's so used to having me to himself. Feeling so irritated bothers me sometimes. I don't want to be the one who gets irritated with him - but, I'm his Mom in every sense of the word with the exception of birth, so we can't expect it to be any different. I wouldn't trade the irritation for him being with anyone else. At the same time, I KNOW I have more patience with him than I did with mine when they were little. Whether it's because I'm older & wiser, or because I'm working full-time outside the home now and am not spending as much time with him as I did with my own growing up (stay at home mom; so was with them 24/7) or because I AM his G'ma as well as his mom. I definitely don't want him to feel like he was raised by a cranky old g'ma. He must not think I'm too terrible, since he has trouble with separation from me.

GMa, I think that's one of the things that irritates me most about raising grandkids at our ages. I cannot read a book, I cannot sit in a room quietly, without one or more kids just showing up to talk -- and how can I ignore them? I end up sort of half-listening as they ramble on about whatever interests them, and I feel guilty.

My husband created a gorgeous pond in our yard (pre kids, of course). We can't sit out there and have an adult conversation without one or more kids running out and hanging with us. We can't have an "adult swim" in the pool.

The only thing we can do is enjoy a couple of hours in front of the TV from 8-10. For some reason the kids leave us alone then. But God forbid we try to talk to each other instead, or try to sneak out to the pond -- all privacy is gone.

Then on weekends, of course, there are MORE kids coming over to visit, or we have to drive ours to a friend's house.

Of all of the inconveniences of raising grandchildren it's the quiet time, "adult time" and privacy that I miss most of all.

I can so relate to everything being said here. I took my 3 yr old shopping yesterday and by the time we got to the grocery she was getting very tired of shopping and cranky. At the checkout line she was driving me nuts and I said to her "please be quiet, you are driving me crazy". The cashier smiled and said something to the effect, "well thank God babysitting doesn't last forever, huh?". To which I replied, "yeah right, only for the next 15 yrs"! But like Gma said, I wouldn't trade the lack of irration if it meant they were with strangers. I too am afraid they will grow up with grumpy old people and it is not fair to them and as you said we can't be real grandparents to them since we have to do all the parent stuff. I don't feel like I can even be a good grandma to my other gc because I am so tired and overwhelmed with taking care of these 4. I am also so grateful for finding this site that has such caring people who are willing to share their experiences and feelings with the rest of us. I felt very alone until I came here and found people who understand and do not judge.

Lol, i'm in the same boat. My gs started saying i'm sick of that, i'm sick of this, it sounds so funny when he says it, but thats what i say a lot. "I'm really sick of this". I love him to death, i do find i'm like GmaWilli i have more patience with my gs, although i work full time and i did then too, but i was in a bad marriage when my kids were growing up so maybe thats the difference. I also don't care as much about the house being spottless, and being the "perfect" Mom. My parents are still alive and well so gs has Grandparents, he will never know the difference that they are Great Grand's, and my brother has a young family with the youngest 2 being close to gs in age so he has cousins too. So in that way hes very lucky. This makes me think of something though, my daughter is going to rehab, shes never gone before and people are asking me if i would give her gs back if she straightens up. I've had him for 2 1/2 years and hes 3 1/2, i'm the Mom to him and i don't want my heart broken either, i'm thinking maybe a 50/50 split but these bios can't just expect to walk back into there kids lives and have us become real Grandparents like we were meant to be.

Hubby and I have to leave the house to gave a conversation... I feel your pain... loo.

I am new here today, and I am enjoying everyone's input! I have my 6 1/2 yr old gd living with me. We were 'meant to be, you and me', together that is,..I tell her. She bugs me alot, just like my own child might,..it does have unique challenges being the (single)gramma-mom. Sometimes, I am so tired,.. from doing it all, yet so extremely greatful that I can,..My adult-child has alcohol, etc (ADHD) issues, and sometimes even when I know these health issues are genuine, it drives me crazy when I am tired. But, cant rely on her to share responsibility because it wouldnt be fair to my gd. My gd misses her (ideal fantasy) mom, whom she cant comprehend is not well, it makes me sad and frustrated all at once sometimes,..I love them both sooo much I wouldnt change our situation for the world!

Welcome, "CG"! There seem to be more and more of us, huh? YIKES!

If it weren't for this group I think I would have been put in the looney bin ages ago. Most of my friends seem to think this situation will "keep me young," "I'll get rewarded someday" and "it's a blessing." That's because they aren't sitting at a dining room table with three kids every afternoon, trying to get them to focus on multiplication tables and social studies reports. They aren't reaching for the fig newtons only to find that they're all gone. They aren't walking into the bathroom only to see wet towels and clothes all over the floor. They see their grandchildren or nieces/nephews once in a while, they're adorable, and they go home. And if they had kids of their own it's so long ago all they remember are the good times.

Aaaaarrgh!

Oh boy does all of this feel familiar! Ours are now 13 almost 14 so they want more space, but when they were younger, they couldn't leave us alone. Funny story-when I would get home from work,( when they were 7-8 years old), hubby and I would go to our room to talk and catch up. They mentioned this to their "real" grammy (hubby's ex) who started telling everyone that we were having relations every day and leaving the kids alone! As if! That is one kind of privacy that is long gone! We found a young woman who I knew from work got her CORI'd, and have her spend one weekend a month at our house while we go away. It really really helps if you can do it!

Yesterday I actually tried to take a nap. My daughter needed my van to go to her first day of work for a new job, so I came home early from my job and thought - Wow; I can actually lay down & take a NAP!!! Something I NEVER, EVER get to do anymore. I wasn't feeling the greatest. I laid 1 yo down and he was off to sleep quickly. I laid 4 yo down with the tablet and told him he could lay in his bed quietly with the tablet and look at stories and play games, but he had to stay in bed. Well, I had JUST fallen into that deep peaceful sleep after tossing for about 15 minutes because it felt so strange to actually get to lay down in the afternoon and low & behold, my 4 yo stands at the top of the stairs and hollers down into my Bedroom that he's hungry. GGGGRRRR!!! OH MY GOSH. I was SO stinkin' mad I couldn't see straight. I pitched a huge childish fit and even cried. I really lost it!!!

I made him a PB&J, gave him some milk, and put him back in his room with a stern warning NOT to wake me up again!! I was so worked up by this point, I didn't think I'd be able to go back to sleep, but thankfully, I did. Might have been the Zyrtec that helped me out. At any rate, I did finally get some sleep, but not as restful and renewing had I not been startled out of the first attempt. Poor kid probably thought I'd turned into some kind of grandma/monster, but I was SO frustrated I couldn't help myself!!!