Sara, good question.. Mine are too young yet and haven't started school. I am so interested in hearing what others, who are in fact going down that path, have to say. I will be keeping an eye on this post

The reason I ask is that it seems that the deck is stacked in favor of labels.

I've never heard anyone get the result "well, you might want to spend more time with your child on reading/spelling/math/whatever, but other than that he appears to be developing quite normally."

EVERY time I've heard of someone who took their child in for testing he or she came out with an official syndrome, along with a treatment plan that involves loads of expensive counseling, medication, special education, etc.

Makes me afraid to have a kid tested for anything! LOL.

We had a school psych tell us that our youngest couldn't be Aspergers because she made eye contact with her and IF she were it would be VERY mild! Yeah well the speech therapist and OT that tested her thought it was obvious that she was.
We took her to a child psychiatrist last year and she is not Aspergers, she is well into the spectrum! I was even asked by the new school psych why we hadn't had her tested before as when he observed her it was obvious. Now this was 5 years later but it was obvious there was something back then. We did not want to tell them what was wrong, we wanted her dx'd properly.

So yes some get a no, usually ones that shouldn't!

As for ADHD that just blows my mind! Way too easy to have a child labeled!! Our ASD child has a dx of Autism, ADHD, OCD but the ADHD was from the psychiatrist testing and it was certainly more than filling out a paper! In fact the questionnaires showed that we (the parents) nor the teachers felt she was showing signs of ADHD. She is not on meds for the ADHD as she doesn't have problems with it in school.

Yes we pay out a lot of $$$$ for the Dr's for her. Worth every penny! There are cheaper ways to go but those weren't available when we started. They literally became available within a month of starting. However those meant using a psychologist for therapy and a reg. Dr for the meds. She is only on a low dose of anxiety and we want a Dr that knows what he/she is doing when using any of those.

OK that should say she is on a low dose of anxiety meds, not that she is on a low dose of anxiety. LOL

Oh she also has no LD's.

Sara,

This isn't exactly an answer to the question you ask, more a comment on the whole idea of having children evaluated.

When you take a child in for evaluation, you don't "have them tested for ADHD" for example. You have them evaluated. In my case I first will have to have my gs evaluated by my MD. Then he will be referred to a psychologist if she thinks it warrants it. The psychologist then evaluates the child through a series of things, a lot depending upon age. With gs it will be play therapy for one thing.

With my ds, when we had him tested, we found a psychologist (actually I think he was a psychiatrist) who tested mainly with written tests and physical observation. After the tests he determined my son had some abnormalities from "the norm" - he even showed us where and why on the test results. These were very obvious, and things I pretty well knew from home schooling him. Things like his trouble staying on task and not being able to process multi-step problems. At that point he said we had a choice. We could go on for further observation or we could try ritalin and see how it worked. We tried the ritalin and it worked like a miracle for my ds. We never went any further with the evaluations. Now I wish we had. At least I would, as he got into his teen years, known what it was we were dealing with. I could put a name to it and maybe even have some techniques to deal with it more effectively. I blame myself for not wanting to "label" him. I was treating his "difference" as something to be covered up and not spoken of. Something to be ashamed of. Not outright, not even on purpose. But by not having these kids evaluated and dealing with the problems in an open and loving manner, that IS what we are doing.

I am not saying that we should not learn and use good, strong parenting techniques. Usually with any child with a behavioral, learning or personality problem, good parenting is even more important. And I believe that instead of just throwing meds at the kids, the therapy should start with the parents! Teaching them good, strong, parenting skills. I watched a couple of episodes of Super Nanny for the first time. She's very good. A good example. Every parent with children with problems should go through her course as a first step! :)

But it can't end there. Ignoring these kids' special needs isn't right, either. When my ds was growing up I had a lot of friends who insisted my ds was fine and it was just me. It wasn't. And I ignored the problem because I bought into their lies. I was wrong. Are all psychological diagnosis correct? Are all medical diagnosis correct? They are only a best guess. Psychological diagnosis are no more accurate than medical diagnosis. Anything having to do with the brain is pretty much still a mystery.

But if I can help this little guy to grow up to be a more productive, loving, fulfilled person. If I can help him more than I did his father, I will admit my mistake and move on. Am I right? I honestly don't know.... what I do know is that I was NOT right last time.

See, here's the thing: Our youngest (age 7) is having a hard time spelling. He's great in math, but his spelling and handwriting are atrocious! His reading was also horrific, but he has a reading teacher and it has improved greatly. His spelling is also improving, mostly because Pinky has been spending hours with him on the weekends.

I Googled "bad spelling" and one of the sites discussed dyslexia. When I looked at the symptoms, I could see that our youngest has several of them, but not all. He doesn't appear to have the major symptoms, but the minor ones (not pronouncing Rs correctly and reversing bs and ds.)

On the other hand he has always been able to rhyme, which is an indicator that a child does not have dyslexia. He can also point to his left foot with his right hand, and all of those other things they list.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know how long I should wait to see if his reading and spelling are, in fact, improving because we're giving him intensive help, or whether he should be tested now.

I've met with his teacher, the special reading teacher, and the principal, and none have even suggested dyslexia. So maybe I'm reading more into it than I should.

I guess I'm concerned about putting ideas into the heads of the professionals, because once they think "dyslexia" I fear that's where they'll go and won't look elsewhere. If that makes sense...

I remember when my son was 8 yrs old and I got a new Dr who wanted all kinds of tests. He was born with the cord around his neck and they told me he may have some issues show up later.

My son got so many labels and they all wanted to give him drugs. I was against it and they called me a bad mother, Later when they tested him when he was in his teens they were giving him some very strong stuff I told them I didn't want him to take that and they told me they would take me to court and take my son away!! I had a friend who worked for a Pharmacy and he helped me wean him off and I changed Dr's.

I want to make sure my grandson gets any help he needs as he grows however; unless it's life or death "No Drugs"! OT and physical therapy Yes!! Love and structure Yes!!

I have gone to several Foster Parent Lectures and they talk about trauma to children and how it will affect them in their learning. What I loved about this lecture was that the Dr said we can change how the child handles trauma. He said help them not to dwell on it, sometimes we feel sad for them because of what their bio's put them through it and we keep the trauma a live for the child. It was an interesting lecture.

I also feel that a good Dr who keeps up on new treatments is key...

My 2 cents...

Sara, my youngest had a lot of trouble with pronouncing her "r"s. She had trouble with "s"s when she was younger, but the r's didn't come until probably middle school.

She also had trouble with switching her letters sometimes, or even reading backwards, etc. She outgrew it. My guess is that unless you see more symptoms, or unless the symptoms begin causing problems and are not improving, then I'd see a counselor.

I just wanted to add that sometimes seeing someone for an opinion relieves some stress off of us. Why don't you ask your gc's doctor or pediatrician? That's a good place to start.

My gs was born at 26 weeks, 2lbs 9oz. He was seen by special group that followed up on preemies but our dd died when he was 14 mos and bio dad did not follow up. By the time we got custody, there was a lot of baggage from abuse. He was first tested at age 7 after he lost most of hearing in left ear. His IQ was 125, vocabulary extraordinary, and his reading three years above grade level. He would do everything in his power to avoid writing. He won an honorable mention in Young Authors when he dictated a story to me. By the time he was in fifth grade, they had labeled him. In fifth grade, he read MacBeth and they were not impressed., adding that he was not writing in his assignment notebook. They said he ADD or ADHD. Had therapist test him....absoltely not. "He needs to be on medication". Doctors said absolutely not. He struggled so much with an abviously bright mind but real difficulties elsewhere. Label them and medicate them was the answer per teachers and administrators. They either took the tactic that we spoiled him or he just didn't want to learn. We had him tested at end of 4th grade to determine if he could attend a special academy for gifted students. He did not go there because it was too late and the pressure to learn a foreign language and we didn't want to increase pressure on him. By end of 4th grade, he was reading at 8th grade level and cognitive math was sophmore in HS. HIs IQ was now close to140, but they cricticized us and blamed him. We moved to a Blue Ribbon School for Jr. High and High School. We again had him tested w/full psych profile with similar results to early testing. We demanded more testing from school, asked for Due Process Hearing where he, and we, were set up against three lawyers who specialize in this. btw he also has a 70% hearing loss in left ear which makes it very hard to funciton in classroom. We once talked to his hearing itinerants and asked if we s/move him to another grade school. They urged us to stay but firmly told us that we were his only advocate and we must stand up for him. Bottom line, he never tested positive for ADD or ADHD. He can read a paragraph in about 30 seconds and tell you what it was about. As I have mentioned before, he also suffers from Spina Bifida Occulta and three slipped discs in his back which school did not believe and said he was faking. His Ped and Neurologist asked the school to give him some understanding in completion of work when he was suffering migraine headaches. Absolutely not was their answer. If he wanted to graduate 8th grade, he had to finish in time frame same as rest of children. He could not handle classroom because he could not sit that long and he had trouble tracking teacher's voices as they walked around the room. He was transfered to an alternative hs where the classes were small, all students had one on one help and he read Voltaire in his free time. He's been floundering since he finished hs 2 years ago. He wants to go to college but his study skills were never developed. I always taught him to set goals and organizational skills. Last week he was awarded disability because he cannot sit, stand, or walk for more than 15 minutes w/o increased back pain. He has trouble sleeping at night. He is in chronic pain at a level of 10/11 because he has been told by teachers that he s/buck up and do his work, leaving him feeling like he must be a failure because he is not handling the pain. A judge finally looked at all the records and immediately awarded him full disability. He is depressed because he finds himself disabled at 21. With the disability he will have a pain management team to help him work through the pain which will never go away but hopefully can become tolerable. He will get help from rehab services to get an education in a job can handle and hopefully have the life every kid plans for. This is all on top of the emotional stuff he bio dad and stepmother left him with. The reason I tell you this here is because you s/not listen to them. One fact is that majority of boys have trouble w/handwriting but if it is significant as in my gs's case, they need help. In 3rd grade they said he was just not a good speller. I taught him phonics and we worked daily on spelling, using sounds and tricks to remember words. In 4th grade he was runner-up for going to state spelling bee. I have had him listening to books on tape since age 2 and I believe that is how he gained his interest in reading and increased his vocabulary. Follow your gut. Attachment disorder is not easy to diagnose they tell me. To say a child is in a "phase" is about 50 years old. I sat down with the principal, assistany principal,counselor and teachers in 8th grade. I did my research before going. I sat at the table and listened to the same old excuses and looked them in the eye and asked: "With over a million dollars in salaries siting at this table, shouldn't you be able to find a way to teach my son?" A lot of sputtering but no answer. They passed him onto hs unprepared, just to get rid of him and me. Hope this helps.

One of the reasons you might get this diagnosis is that it costs the school district to educate people with any disabilities a lot more $ and so unfortunately, it becomes a financial matter. Some schools prefer you do outside testing, so they do not have to pay for it. Yes, every child deserves a public education, since we all pay our taxes, but it doesn't work out equitably. I have had 3 children in the public schools and had 3 tested and it is hard even to get them tested. Usually the waiting time for testing can take over a year. Best of luck to you!

Sara, reading through the thread another time I had another thought about your gs. He's only 7 and a boy. Boys develop their language skills much later than girls. For him to be switching d's and b's and not able to say his r's real good is not all that unusual in a boy of 7. Have you looked at his learning style? Some learning styles really don't do well in a school setting. Kinesthetic (hands on) are the worst. They find it very hard to learn sitting at a desk and listening to a teacher. They do much better with one-on-one instruction. It kind of clicked when you said he improves so much with tutoring. And a kinesthetic learner has nothing wrong - it is just a learning style. The fact that he does well in math but not so good in languages - does he love science where they do more touching and investigating? Does he love to play outside and then come in covered in dirt? When he smells a flower does he have to touch it? Does he love to "touch" things? For example, when walking through the woods I love to touch the leaves, the bark, even the bugs! :)

I'll look up a page on learning styles for you and post it here.

I looked at a few, and liked this one:

http://www.child-central.com/learning-styles-children.html

scroll down a ways for the beginning of the article - there are a lot of ads. :P

Thanks grannyskeeter for the link...I too had years of dealing with the School District & Dr's for my son. I also had to work with our family lawyer to get services for my son in some areas. I still felt that it fell short. When my son was young and I started seeing issue with him and told his Dr he would tell me I was over reacting and I should just let him be a kid. It wasn't until he got a new Dr when he was 8 that we got OT and special classes to help him. Back then I started reading anything I could get my hands on.

Now that I work in a School District I have learned how things work. My GS is still young and even thou I felt I was a good advocate for my son I now know more on how to work the system. We also have the internet!! I hope to be retired by the time my gs goes to preschool so I can devote a lot more time to help him and be a advocate in the other areas.

Thanks again to all who posted their stories...therere inspiring.