Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

446 Members

3,703 Posts

0 Online

Liam2010 03/28/2011

I received a copy of the Recommendations from my GS's SW who has recommended "Terminate Family Reunification" for both Bio Parents. The court hearing is April 6th and we are invited to attend. Should I bring anything? It states on the Doc that we may be present & we may submit relevant written material to the court.

This is just a Recommendation from SW...it still can go where the judge gives them more time, right? I don't want to get my hopes up on this because of the stories I read here and other sites that they give parents more time if they ask for it. I think both parents will be there...my son for sure. I think that they will be shocked because they think just going to a couple of AA meetings and an anger mgmt class will do the trick. However; it may depend on the Judge, Right? They never test them for drugs or alcohol use.

There was talk about this happening for the next hearing however; no one really confirmed that the SW was going to ask for this. So, I am surprised. I now have to take off another day of work without pay, darn.

The sad thing is I am taking off 3 days the week before because my oldest daughter's husband accepted a job offer on the East Coast and they are moving on the 4th. I don't know when we will have the money to visit her so I wanted to take some time to be with her. It is sad that two hard working young people who have 3 degrees between them have to move out of California to find a job. They have been married for 3 yrs now and want to start a family soon so moving where things cost less and a job that they can afford to have one person working and the other raising their children is their focus.

Any tips on this hearing on the 6th are appreciated...

Judi

SaraBT 03/28/2011

If you can write up a timeline of everything that has happened from the time you first got your GS to raise, that may help. Drug use, not sticking to the plan, etc. etc.

Also, if you can write up a persuasive letter as to why you don't think more time would be helpful at this point -- you have already had your GS for the first year of his life and that, more than anything, he needs stability. YOU are stable, his bios are not. Just keep pointing out reasons that are in the best interest of your GS.

As Daisy said, it may not be enough, but if you write something from the heart it may help....

deleted_user 03/29/2011

I just want to encourage you that if the SW recommends it and the GAL agrees, the judge most likely will not go against their recommendation. It COULD happen, but usually it doesn't. After all, that's what child services is for.....

So things are looking good for you! :)

I don't know about the paperwork. I was never asked to or allowed to submit anything. Everything came from the sw and GAL. I had no input at all. Couldn't even open my mouth accept to agree when the judge asked if I was willing to take the child. :P

GMaWilli 03/29/2011

I agree with Sara & granny & would add that if the judge does decide to "give them more time", that you request they start random drug testing as part of the requirements to get the kids back. It really is frustrating when the system keeps giving the bios more and more and more time as long as a little bit of progress is being made. Every month that goes by, my GS gets more attached to me and me to him. We've been in this for 2 years thusfar and it will be 2 years and 3 months by the time the next court date rolls around; not to mention he's lived in my home for most of his life even before bios were removed. I'm the only caretaker he can remember, I'm sure, since he was only 21 months old when his parents were removed from my home. I can't imagine us being pulled apart now to give him back to my son, who has yet to prove any sort of responsibility. At what point does it cause more trauma than good to pull a child away from a grandparent and give them back to a parent - just because they're the bio???

Bonkers2 03/29/2011

Liam - Sorry but what is SW? Is this happening because you are going thru the state?
This is exactly what I am wondering about and why I started the topic of when do we adopt. Our attorney says temporary custody could mean until they are 18. So, is going thru the state easier? We have no hearings scheduled, just when the bios I guess do what the judge has ordered and its been 3 years. I hope and pray the best for you. I have kept a timeline so long and am so tired of it but I keep typing away.

daisydduck 03/30/2011

What ever you write, keep it short. Judges don't like long lists placed before them in court. State how long you have had children, if and when visitation w/bios occurs, note if children are healthier both physically and emotionally since coming to live with you and list problems w/visitation, i.e. "the children always are upset after the visit, the mother is usually high, they subject the children to dangerous environments like....." and close with a note that you will be glad to supply more in depth information if requested. The cw is basically trying to say the parents are unfit and the judge will react to that. You are not there to be critical of parents but to advocate for your gc. If they do not ask you anything, ask the judge if you may say something and read your statement. I'm not sure a cw can state the bios are unfit so she may be just making this rec to the court and the court may or may not ask for further action to prove them unfit. It's one of those cases where you want to speak for the children but you don't want to say too much. Good luck. At least this is a step in a positive direction for you and gc.

Join the Conversation