Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I am having such a hard time with GD. Since she moved with us at 16, for the second time, I feel that I have such a short amount of time to help.
For the last few months, she just seems to do or not do whatever she wants. She sleeps late whenever she feels like it, even though our agreement was 8:30a wake up if she continued online school. The only time she actually works on classes is when her Australian BF is asleep.
Her room is a wreck, she outright lies to me continuously, she says NO when I suggest she works on school or hang up with BF or clean room or wash her hair or set the table.
Nothing I do seems to make any difference! I have tried consequences for her behavior such as removing phone, etc. I have tried totally ignoring her. I have tried being SO kind and understanding and encouraging. Nothing has worked.
She will be 18 in March and plans to move to Australia with BF and his mentally ill mother. I am starting to think "Fine."
On top of all that, I received a court summons last Friday per sheriff. CPS has decided to terminate parental rights on her pedophile bio father 3 months before her 18th birthday! They refused when she was 4 and he was convicted. They refused again when she was 7 and was trying to help his mother obtain custody of her. But now I get this summons. :(
For the last few months, she just seems to do or not do whatever she wants. She sleeps late whenever she feels like it, even though our agreement was 8:30a wake up if she continued online school. The only time she actually works on classes is when her Australian BF is asleep.
Her room is a wreck, she outright lies to me continuously, she says NO when I suggest she works on school or hang up with BF or clean room or wash her hair or set the table.
Nothing I do seems to make any difference! I have tried consequences for her behavior such as removing phone, etc. I have tried totally ignoring her. I have tried being SO kind and understanding and encouraging. Nothing has worked.
She will be 18 in March and plans to move to Australia with BF and his mentally ill mother. I am starting to think "Fine."
On top of all that, I received a court summons last Friday per sheriff. CPS has decided to terminate parental rights on her pedophile bio father 3 months before her 18th birthday! They refused when she was 4 and he was convicted. They refused again when she was 7 and was trying to help his mother obtain custody of her. But now I get this summons. :(
Yesterday, I told her in a calm voice that even't if she didn't have any respect for me, she needed to at least pretend she did. Ugh.
When my husband and I got married, Pinky was 11. All As and Bs, All-Star soccer and softball, etc.
Then she discovered drugs and it's been all downhill since then. She was never defiant, but she did what she wanted to do and didn't care what anyone said. Same thing - love, counseling, discipline - NOTHING got her to see that she was on the road to self destruction.
On her 16th birthday she was caught with beer, and she ran away with a friend of Pablo Escobar's nephew. We let her go. At that point the school counselors said we had covered our butts extremely well, and she agreed that Pinky was determined to do what she wanted to do.
We've had her three kids now for more than 10 years and finally adopted them. Pinky is still an addict, has her own escort page and is hooking. We no longer allow her to sleep over in our house after the second scabies attack.
Some people simply refuse to listen, and I think at some point they just have to live with the consequences of their actions. As I told Pinky once, "you're a freight train with no brakes headed for a brick wall, and we've taken the kids off the track just in time."
She still sleeps all day when she feels like it, refuses her classes, goes into rages over the tiniest things or nothing at all and lies constantly about anything and everything!
I read an article about traumatized children that were adopted and she acts out the exact same way these much younger children do.
I have been planning one of those talks again soon, but I am hoping my husband can be the one to tell her since he is the one she likes so much and she is ALWAYS kind to him. Maybe she will listen when it's coming from Grandpa instead of screaming and yelling like she does when I try to talk to her.