Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

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So mad at addicts today; wish they would disappear

JanAndRob
JanAndRob
I have been posting so much here today, while gd is asleep. I'm just so mad, mad, mad. I dont want to hog the boards here. In our case, I think it would be so much easier if they would just disappear taking with them all their lies, hopes they give the kids, their lies, and all the rest. These kids and us/we? as gps deserve a peaceful life. I just re-read what I wrote here, and realize I actually repeated about lies. Freudian slip? Or do you see how the lies are the worst of it?
mynanny4
mynanny4
I have been where you are and have had the same feelings.....but now that my son is gone I would give anything to see him again. On the other hand if my ex DIL disappears that would be ok. Praying for you to have some peace.
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
That's the horrific roller coaster of being a parent to an addict. You get so sick of the lies & drama, you just want them to go about their business & leave you alone, but then when they are gone you miss the pre-addicted son or daughter desparately & wish you could have them back. I have to remind myself of the lies, the thefts, the disrespecting my home, the selfishness & drama, in order to keep a semblance of balance in my emotions between missing them & remembering how bad it was most days. I have to think back on times my son was so high I feared him dropping the baby & think back on how worried I was about my daughter being more concerned about her dope sickness than she was about her baby's physical & emotional needs. The idea of either of them, or the other 2 parents, overdosing just makes me sick.
SaraBT
SaraBT
I'm much more content now that Pinky is off using and not bothering us.

The difference is that I never knew her very long "pre-drugs," so I don't have the same memories that my husband, her brothers and their mother do. The only Pinky I know, with the exception of about six months, is the lying addict.

I'm sure her death will hit the rest of our family very hard, even though they know it can happen at any time. I'll feel awful for them and for the kids, though.
JanAndRob
JanAndRob
When I said I wish they would disappear, I did not mean die. Just go away and leave us in peace for awhile, without all the drama, lies, manipulation. And as always, hoping that the person I knew before addiction, my dear son, will someday reappear. It's 3am, gd and I are on couch as she's having a bad few days.
SaraBT
SaraBT
My husband and I felt much better once we fully accepted the fact that Pinky will never totally recover. Oh, she may stop using for a month or even a year or so (and has). But her brain has been so damaged by drug use that she no longer has the ability to do the thinking necessary to remain in recovery.

At this point she's using again, and because she feels guilty she doesn't contact anyone. I enjoy the lack of contact, even though I know it isn't good for her future.

I'm sure we'll get The Call one of these days, but I figure we'll deal with that then.
Snippy
Snippy
This is my point. How do we ever stop. Even if I put them out the door then there is still no peace. I hate for the phone ring or when I see the county ride by. Do we ever fully get it out of our system. Sorrymy tablet keyboard is messing up.