Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
My husand and I are ready to start adoption on our grandsons.My daughter called yesterday and I was talking to her about sending her the termination papers for her to sign.She said she was willing to sign them because she don't even know what her sons look like except in pictures.The boys are 3 & 4 and she has only seen the oldest 3 times and has never seen the youngest. Anyway she told me that I might want to wait until January to do the adoption because her NEW BABY is due on the sixth and she will be signing over her rights to me to it immediately upon birth.I didn't even know for a fact she was pregnant,I suspected but wasn't sure.Now she is telling me that not only is she pregnant but that I have to come get the baby because she has already signed preliminary papers stateing that she intends to give tha baby to me.
I ask her why she had done this without even talking to me and why she even got pregnant in the 1st place just to give it away.You will not beleive her responce!!!!! She said that she got pregnant hoping it would be a girl to make up to me for giving my other granddaughter,Leah,away.!!! When I started yelling at her asking her why she would do such a thing she started crying and said that she thought it would make me love her again since I hated her for giving Leah away.That only made me madder!!! I told her that I did not hate her,that she was my child and I would always love her but that yes I was very angry that she gave the baby away but her getting pregnant with another child did not replace the grandbaby she gave away.One child cannot replace another!! She got so upset and said so I have done all of this for nothing..You wont forgive me and You don't want the baby?
So now there is a little baby going to be born in January that the only reason it exsist is because its mentally ill mother thought that was the only way to make me love her again.She knows that I may be angry with her but I won't turn my back on the baby.She knows what my grandchildren mean to me.I guess the only funny thing in all of this is that she didn't get what she wanted..The BABY IS A BOY!!!
I ask her why she had done this without even talking to me and why she even got pregnant in the 1st place just to give it away.You will not beleive her responce!!!!! She said that she got pregnant hoping it would be a girl to make up to me for giving my other granddaughter,Leah,away.!!! When I started yelling at her asking her why she would do such a thing she started crying and said that she thought it would make me love her again since I hated her for giving Leah away.That only made me madder!!! I told her that I did not hate her,that she was my child and I would always love her but that yes I was very angry that she gave the baby away but her getting pregnant with another child did not replace the grandbaby she gave away.One child cannot replace another!! She got so upset and said so I have done all of this for nothing..You wont forgive me and You don't want the baby?
So now there is a little baby going to be born in January that the only reason it exsist is because its mentally ill mother thought that was the only way to make me love her again.She knows that I may be angry with her but I won't turn my back on the baby.She knows what my grandchildren mean to me.I guess the only funny thing in all of this is that she didn't get what she wanted..The BABY IS A BOY!!!
Jist of it is.... mamaw....that baby is a gift of God and I know that you know that. No matter how misguided your daughter is. Whether you chose to raise it or not is YOUR decision. Not hers. God loves you and loves all that you have done for your gc.
That child exists because he is important to God. I know you know that. I don't know what else to say except that I'm sending you GREAT BIG {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
1. DCS won't give me any problems about giving me the baby.I have already talked with them and they said they would place the baby with me as soon as it is born like with the other 2 boys.
2. There is only one person in this world that she truely respects and will anything for and that is the pediatrician who cared for her when she was little.I have talked to him and he said there is a treatment center that his brother runs that he could get her into.They will treat her mental illnesses and her adictions.It is a 6 month program.The center is on a beautifull campus that has all kinds of things to do:indoor/outdoor pools,arcade,basketballcourts,they even have a store on grounds.She will have her own apartment after 6 weeks and can have all her things with her including her dog.They can even deliver the baby right there in their clinic,they will even allow me to be there for the birth.The best part is her insurance will pay for it.The only requirments for her is that she has to attend the meetings and private therapy,the only visitors she can have are the ones I set,she cannot leave the campus,and she has to submit to weekly drug tests.All visitors will have to submit to being searched before being allowed on campus to make sure that no drugs or weapons are being brought on campus.The first 6 weeks will be tough on her but when she passes that I think she will like it there and at least we will know her and the baby will be safe.
I am going tomorrow to check it all out and I will let you know how it is.
I hope that she gets into the center and that they are able to help her out. Will be praying about it.