Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I am new to the system (DCFS) and we have been so busy jumping to what is needed for our 4 month grandson.
There was a court hearing on the 20th and I thought that they needed us to be there however, my gs lawyer's office said no. I have been leaving messages to the baby's caseworker regarding daycare arrangements when I go back to work next week and no calls or email. I was invited to be at my gs MAT meeting today. I pray that the CW will be there. I have been reading many horror stories online about CW regarding their power in what may be their personal actions on placement not what is best for the child and relative care.
I put a call into a family law lawyer and hopefully he will call me back today. I don't want to leave things to chase about us getting guardianship and then adoption. I feel I need legal advice to make sure that we don't get pushed aside.
I fear that I will have to take FML from my job in order to go to many of the appointments that will be coming up for my gs. The problem with that is that I took FML when I took the bioparents in for a month when my gs's was born and I didn't get paid. We used our savings and if I do this again I will have to use more of our savings to pay our bills. This is not mentioning the stress of working and doing all the last minute things that seem to be the way they do things. I haven't even had a chance to take many of my work clothes to the dry cleaners because ironing seems to take too much time for me right now. I also have some cloths that I need to have hemmed because they are too long and they are just sitting in my closet. I can wear them for work and I want to get several weeks of clothes clear and pressed so I don't have to stress about what to wear to work. I also need a haircut and haven't had time to do that either. All of my time has been for my gs and my two younger children 13 & 11.
What does everyone think?
There was a court hearing on the 20th and I thought that they needed us to be there however, my gs lawyer's office said no. I have been leaving messages to the baby's caseworker regarding daycare arrangements when I go back to work next week and no calls or email. I was invited to be at my gs MAT meeting today. I pray that the CW will be there. I have been reading many horror stories online about CW regarding their power in what may be their personal actions on placement not what is best for the child and relative care.
I put a call into a family law lawyer and hopefully he will call me back today. I don't want to leave things to chase about us getting guardianship and then adoption. I feel I need legal advice to make sure that we don't get pushed aside.
I fear that I will have to take FML from my job in order to go to many of the appointments that will be coming up for my gs. The problem with that is that I took FML when I took the bioparents in for a month when my gs's was born and I didn't get paid. We used our savings and if I do this again I will have to use more of our savings to pay our bills. This is not mentioning the stress of working and doing all the last minute things that seem to be the way they do things. I haven't even had a chance to take many of my work clothes to the dry cleaners because ironing seems to take too much time for me right now. I also have some cloths that I need to have hemmed because they are too long and they are just sitting in my closet. I can wear them for work and I want to get several weeks of clothes clear and pressed so I don't have to stress about what to wear to work. I also need a haircut and haven't had time to do that either. All of my time has been for my gs and my two younger children 13 & 11.
What does everyone think?
daisydduck
You are just overwhelmed and justifiably so. Take a deep breath. Call a dry cleaner to pick up your clothes, at least the ones that will be wearable and do not need alterations. Secondly, do call the family law attorney back as well as cw. There are many horror stories out there and I think it is wise to keep calling and expect a report. What we didn't spent on lawyers, we spent on doctors and that took our retirement. You know how it goes...if I knew then what I know now... California is considered a child friendly state but with economic problems agencies may be cutting back on personnel. Realize that if you were 25 and taking care of a 4mo old and two tweens, you w/be overwhelmed so it's normal to feel the way you do. Re FML act, check it out online so you fully understand it. You s/be able to take it w/or repercussions. Financially, it is your call as to how much you can afford. Check out what benefits are available for baby as well as yourself. Perhaps you can find enough to take that time off and not lose money. There are options but you need to search them out. SW usually do not freely offer this info to grandparents raising grandchildren. Take a deep breath and gather your family together to discuss what the future holds with the new baby. You can work it out with planning. Good luck and God Bless
deleted_user
I have been doing the DCS thing for 8 months now. We received our gd when she was 2 months old. It has been a hardship with all the doctor appts and dcs visits and appts and etc. We have yet to receive a board pyt on her but they are paying her child care. Today we had a review on the permanency plan for her with her bio mom and CW. I was adament that unless there was some progress made her father and I were going to seek custody outside of the foster care system. The only reason we were going through them right now was to see if someone could help her. We have full legal custody of her son for 2 years now. We needed to try a different approach. Todays meeting went well but I found out she has miscarried and is suffering physically. She needs to go to the hospital for a DNC but my gs bio father won't allow it. Back to the main point. I found that if I don't get a response within 24 hours I go to the supervisor of the CW and move up the chain. It usually stops with the supervisor and I receive a call back from the CW within minutes. It is very overwhelming with a baby in foster care. In TN everytime there is a well baby check up there has to be a corresponding visit to the health dept. I have finally had to leave my job of 13 years. The stress from my career and the stress from my family issues became to much and something had to give. Most at work understand but there are a few who don't and have not spoken to me since I resigned. But I already feel freer and my stress levels are going down. I have learned that the house will get cleaned and clothes washed eventually. I feel like a new mom again, completely overwhelmed but I know that this to will pass. I am set to go for the long haul again all the way through college but praying my daughter gets her life on track. I just really want to be my husbands wife and my grandkids grandma. Funny how you dream your life will be as a child and young woman and then life throws a curve ball. But I am swinging the bat at that ball hoping for a homerun in the end.
deleted_user
me too!keep up the good work !we have to believe in the long run the rewards of having and raising our gc will be signifignt!we are showing and living respomsibility everyday,stability,love,family,security,we stay together thru thick n thin,consistancy is vital,they are watching us and I believe they know the dealo(the kids)amen
daisydduck
Mammie, that is one adorable baby!
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