Oh sunni, I'm am so sorry. I know in the state I live in that more than likely the father will be able to get his daughter. Because your daughter never agreed to a DNA test, he had reason not to believe he was the father. As long as he is in good standing with the law he may be able to pursue getting his child back. I always worry about something like this happening. I have known several people that it has happen to and in every case, the parent was given custody. I will pray for you because I don't want to see you loose your GD. Hugs my friend!

Sunni

If your daughter refused the DNA there may be a change he is not the father try to get the DNA now and pray he is not the father if he is try to work with him on a plan and keep it out of court good luck!

The DNA test was done and he is the father. We have allowed him to see her, and are working with her counselor on everything concerning the bio dad. The thought of losing her is devastating, he knew all along about her, but never did anything about it.

Hi Sunni,

I'm new here but in your shoes I'm not sure how I would handle the situation.

Is he a good man and capable of giving your gd love and nurturing and why does he want her in his life now? What made him change his mind. I would want to know that before I do anything.

What state do you live in? Check with your granddaughters ad litem about a exparte (emergency) hearing to get temp guardianship if you don't already have it. It is in the best interest of the child that she stay with family she knows and perhaps gradually get to know her birth father (if he actually is and DNA proves it) if not you don't have to worry about him.

Hang in there,

Boy this is a sticky situation....I would sit down with the father and figure out what is best for the child...he is a stranger to the child and that alone will scare her knowing she has to live with him....I doubt any judge would just give her to him....what needs to happen is he needs to get to know his child...like I said he is a stranger....maybe talk to the father and maybe between the both of you figure out what is best for the child...perhaps having the child live with you and he has visitation...open visitation so he doesn't feel so cut off?? it's all up to you though really...the child has been in your care for 8 years...that alone says alot...nobody wants to put a child through that kind of trauma....this is going to take time....but I would also seek legal advice and even get a child advocate lawyer for the child...she should also have a say....it's her life too and she should not be forced to do something she doesn't want....that alone would cause more problems...good luck and keep us updated.

I was at the Illinois Task Force for Grandparents raising grandchildren last week and was dismayed to hear that in Illinois grandparents now have no rights to even visitation. It's like we're going backwards. Because you have had child for several years, you should have standing in court to demand visitation at least, but that does not solve your problem. The guardian ad litem should be agreeable to having the child tested by a psychologist to determine the importance of the child's relationship with you. There was a famous case in Illinois around the time we got our gs. It was called the Baby Richard Case and it was similar to yours. The mother did not tell the father about the child. The father won because he had been asking about the child since the child was about 2 months old. It was tied up in court until he was 4 and it was a terrible scene when the father took the child from his adoptive parents, the only parents he had known since birth. We, as grandparents, need to unite to fight this sort of thing. They say "best interest of child", but the courts go for the best interest of bio parent. A problem may arise because she was not living with you, but kinship caregivers have rights also. Go to Grandfamilies.com and see what they have. Actually, put in keywords of grandparents raising grandchild (and other kin) and see what comes up. There is a lot going on but we are not coordinated so you will need to check websites and see who can help you. Get a family lawyer who has experience working with grans and other kin and who knows the laws of your state. Good luck and please feel free to contact me. I'll help you find out what I can.

Daisy I remember that case very well. I lived in IL. then. It was heart breaking to say the least!!!!!!!! I have wondered about that child ever since. I for one did not agree with the way it was all handled. The dad was not looking at what was best for the child and neither was the court.
Sunni, I am so sorry I have not kept in touch with you better. I just asumed things were going okay with the father back in the picture. I am guessing it is not. I will email you.