Oh, how I know that feeling. I bet we all do.
The bios don't call. They don't have presents when they're supposed to. They don't pay attention to the kids when they visit (mostly sleep the whole time). They have no clue who the kids' friends are, what they're doing in school what they like to eat, etc.
And yet the kids act as if they've just come down from Heaven. That's the salt in the wound for sure.

Jan, I now find myself in the same place as you. Bio Dad used to be great showing up on time, staying the whole visit, playing with the girls. Now he and his GF have the new baby, which is in DCF custody and not suppose to be living with her bio mom but is. He has quit his job, has no car, and is exhausted from taking care of GF and baby.

IF he does show up to visit GF is calling him non stop. A few times an hour. She has someone drive her over to pick him up long before his visit is over. Last visit he was coming on Friday night and staying until Sunday but she showed up to pick him up on Sat morning. WHOOSG he is gone and I am left with two very upset kids.

Needless to say this is HARD on the girls. This has set the girls back to where they were last spring. The counselor has recommend that I change his visitation to a few hours once every other week. It has been every other weekend and one evening a week. Also to document everything.

This time of year is so hard on the kids they do not need this extra shit thrown on them by parents who should be helping them heal not making it worse.

Bio, my daughter, was invited to be with GD any weekend before 7p and all holidays. I ended up not letting her talk to GD on phone because she would promise to visit and not show up, over and over and over. When she was here, she spent most of the time in the garage, smoking and talking to whichever boyfriend she had at the time. It hurt GD so much! So I'd try to discuss this with her and she'd get angry and not visit for months.

I'm sorry Jan, I know it's so hard to deal with while trying to protect our precious grands from getting hurt.

My boys have not seen biomom since Easter. I had stopped visits at home because of her behavior while here on Easter, drugs and hacking into my emails. I rigestered for the Safe Program and while doing so I learned alot about how visits should go. No cell phones, no boyfriends, couldnt be high couldnt be late. They had a time to be there which was before the child if they were late, high or didnt show they would call and cancel visit. Now we never went for a viisit because my daughter never registered but if I ever have visits back at home I will follow the rules they have in place. I learned alot from them just by calling them to get registered. We give the bios way more then we should.

As far as I'm concerned, the bios have lost just about all of their "parental" rights the moment they walked away from their children and turned them over to us.

Visiting is something WE'RE supposed to do, because that's the fun part. Spending a day or two with the kids, buying them things, taking them places, spoiling them rotten - that's what grandparents are for. Not the day-to-day scheduling, teaching, disciplining,etc.

So why should the neglectful, selfish bios get all of the fun stuff? They are the ones who are supposed to be doing what we're doing. They weren't interested. So why are they interested in visiting? It surely isn't for the children they claim to love. It's because the bios want to feel good about themselves, and who cares how they feel?

We haven't heard from Pinky since November 8, when she was supposed to visit to see "her"" kids. We're just waiting for her to call and ask to come for Christmas, of course. That, too, would be for her - not for the kids. As far as I'm concerned she doesn't deserve it at all.