Welcome scgramma and God bless what you are trying to do. We all know there is no one right answer to our dilemmas with raising our children and grandchildren but I have come to learn there are two great sins "not growing and not allowing another person to grow". That being said a 17 y/o who felt she had the right to have unprotected sex should learn there are consequences for that choice and not be given a free ride. A line has been crossed from being ONLY a sibling to one of being a mother and the responsibilites that entails (and of course not perfectly). Guidance from you is her greatest asset as you may not always be around to be the CARE GIVER. In the best interest of the grandchild his mom needs to take life skills and child care courses in addition to what you can share with her from your experiences as a mother. You are all in my prayers and I wish you many blessings.

very well put GramaDiane I agree, God Bless you scgramma and good luck

She's taken parenting classes and anger management classes, gotten her GED and drivers license. She seems to be pretty insitefull when it comes to discussing parenting, self esteem, emotions and such issues. One of the biggest hurdles I face with her is she doesn't seem convinced that she needs to be self sufficient. She seems to have it in her head that either her knight in shining armour is going to come save her, or else she can get on welfare and section 8.( with my having custody, she can't get either)The baby's father is in jail, where he will stay for at least 1 1/2 years. (After which he is going to drive me crazy coming around. He is in jail for child abuse.)So her knight would have to be willing to marry her and support them both. I don't want her to always be dependent on someone else. I like to think she will be easier to deal with when her sister goes off to college, but I need to accept the fact her intitlement issues aren't going to go away that easy.
Right now they share a car, but she insists I let the other daughter drive it more often, gets mad I won't let her take it to spend the night somewhere else (as If I was crazy enough not to know she would be partying all night in it)There are a lot of trust issues here, her not too long ago behavior included running away, truancy, taking the cars at night without a drivers license(feb 07), wrecking one of them(march 06). For a while it seems like she's growing up, then last week she snuck her boyfriend in the house at night.

wow, my first thought is she needs to do a lot of growing up, you really have your hands full, maybe you can explain to her that your are suporting her baby and that takes care of a lot of the xtra things she is unable to get like her sister gets, you are giving her a lot more then her sister is getting by suporting her baby and her, she should be happy that you love her enough to help her and take care of her and the baby, instead of whinning she dosent get enough, if she wants her own car then she needs to get her own job, I think she is expecting to much of you, she needs to stop and look at the whole picture of what is going on, or maybe everytime you spend money on her sister write down what you spent on the baby, I dont know, I am so sorry you have to go through this, I wish I could be of more help. This is just my opinion, I hope she grows up and realizes how much you do for her, God Bless you