Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I was glad to find this site since I had long been searching for other grandparents raising grandchildren. I am curious as to why some of you are raising your grandchildren and if it's temporary or permanent. I have been raising my grandchildren one for eleven years and the other 50% of the time for the first 4 years and full time for the last two years. It is a big job and great responsibilty, but I love them dearly. I hope that I can stay healthy and can continue to give them the love and stability they deserve.
We've been raising our three for more than six years because their bio-mom (Pinky) is a drug addict, as is one of the fathers. The other father was basically a one-night stand who hasn't had contact with Pinky since she got pregnant.
I don't think I've ever heard of a successful transition back to the bio parents when drugs are involved. I know I've never heard of it on this site, nor have I heard about it within my own circle of friends.
The problem to me is that once a bio is an addict, it takes years for them to get into recovery. And even if they're in recovery their brains seem to freeze at the point that they first started using. So they've never matured enough emotionally to be responsible for children.
Other bios are simply immature to begin with, or have mental/emotional issues. They usually don't find stability enough to get their kids back, either. And, of course, if the bios pass away that's a whole different situation.
It's sad, but it does seem as if we're all in this for the long haul...
So after two years, daughter still smoking, pilling and God only knows what, she walked out the end of December and haven't heard from or seen her since. Mental problems, I'm sure she's got plenty.
I would love for my daughter to straighten out and do the right thing to get her kids back, but I doubt she ever will. So we're in it for the long haul, I'm not turning these kids over to a woman with a history of drug abuse, refusing any kind of treatment, she steals, lies, and has more men chasing her than I can count. And they are all "in love" with her. ( Seriously, they call me to find out about her.)
My BIL & SIL are in the same boat, with both bios into drugs and emotional issues, only they've had their kids gc's 10 years now. Like Sara, I've never heard of a bio getting their kids back when drugs are involved. Our last court visit (Jun '10), the judge had 4 child custody cases before him, all due to drugs. None of the parents could pass a urine test, none got their kids back.
We have had my 5 YO GD for just over a year now and both her parents signed over custody at the beginning of December.
Letting my GD live here is only the second "good decision" my daughter has made in the last 5 years, the other was getting her tubes tied after her second little girl was born.
Our story is that my daughter (bio mom) has Bipolar disorder and not med compliant so she can't even take care of herself, much less a child. Bio dad is a meth head with his own mental health issues.
Mom has called very day for the past 8, ever since my husband posted on facebook that he was tired of her ignoring her child. She still has not seen GD since I took the custody papers up to be signed. Bio dad hasn't seen her since then either and has not called since her birthday back in October.
At this point bio dad shows no interest in being involved at all. My daughter keeps talking about "getting her girls back" but never does anything to move toward that goal. She still does not comprehend that now she will have to prove in court that she is able to take care of GD before she gets her back. I see no point in disabusing her of her delusions right now. I have no intention of returning GD to her unless a court tells me I must, both mom and dad have done far too much damage to this sweet girl already. I figure she will be with us til she is grown.
We have had our GS for 4 years now: our DD the bio mom and bio dad were young and tried to do the right thing... got married and kept him for ten months... my DD never bonded with him and bio dad took care of him while working going to school (this we did not know until after we got him even bio dad never told us) anyway both bios ask us to take him and we did...DD is like a big sister to him, he knows she is mommy and even remembers that he lived with mommy and daddy when he was a baby but that is about it...
Bio dad has a regular relationship with him... he picks him up on Sunday and they spend the day together and brings him back home... he is like a big brother too just a closer relationship than bio mom...
We also have a FM (family member) we had once before when she was 5 days old until she was nearly two (very long story) then bio mom (my cousin) took her... then we were ask by DHR in June 2010 to take her and we have had her every since... this situation is because of drug abuse.
WELCOME to to group!!