Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Ddmom delivered to my house Sunday 4am drunk. Her sister let her sleep in her room. I was unaware she had been drinking, and didnt know she was even at my house before noon. She comes downstairs, and says good bye to gd, who goes to visit father. gs is exited to see her. She says she is going to take him swimming. He gets exited runs up and brings down his swimsuit. She says not right now, in a little bit. She says she is going to take him while I go to the store to buy groceries. I come back, hes still wanting to go swimming. She says she will after they go to picnic with babydaddy 2. then its going to be after nap. He gets up from nap, she is heading out the door, to go stayt with friends.Hes upset, crying. I tell him I will take him swimming, he calms down, and we go swimming. When gd is brought back, gs asks him, Mommy? He responds, shes run off again son.
Gd is 6 months old, Gs will be 3 in August. She hasnt been at my house in a week. Spent less than 30 seconds with gd, and did nothing but break gs heart. I suppose I should be comforted by the fact he seemed more interested in the swimming that in her.
DDmom is staying at her friends house, so she can drive friend's mother to work, because friends grandmother is sick, and mother has no license. I told ddmom to decide if she is going to raise that grandmothers children or her own. She responds with give me time I respond with Ive given you a year and a half
DDmom left and went back to them, saying she cant abandon them when gma is sickWTF? The mother is in 40s, and needs to quit drinking and get license straightened out, GMA isnt going to live forever, and is in bad health. Friend is 19 yo,4 foot tall, and mother should be helping her get a car she can drive, instead ddmom is driving them around? (spending gd check on GAS, so I have to buy diapers and baby food for the rest of the month)
Then there is the undeniable fact, ddmom had been drinking, so what is really happening is she is enjoying partying with those people while I raise her kids.
Gd is 6 months old, Gs will be 3 in August. She hasnt been at my house in a week. Spent less than 30 seconds with gd, and did nothing but break gs heart. I suppose I should be comforted by the fact he seemed more interested in the swimming that in her.
DDmom is staying at her friends house, so she can drive friend's mother to work, because friends grandmother is sick, and mother has no license. I told ddmom to decide if she is going to raise that grandmothers children or her own. She responds with give me time I respond with Ive given you a year and a half
DDmom left and went back to them, saying she cant abandon them when gma is sickWTF? The mother is in 40s, and needs to quit drinking and get license straightened out, GMA isnt going to live forever, and is in bad health. Friend is 19 yo,4 foot tall, and mother should be helping her get a car she can drive, instead ddmom is driving them around? (spending gd check on GAS, so I have to buy diapers and baby food for the rest of the month)
Then there is the undeniable fact, ddmom had been drinking, so what is really happening is she is enjoying partying with those people while I raise her kids.
My husband's daughter called Saturday night and said she would be coming down for Father's Day. She said she'd call me at 8:30 when she was at the Philly bus stop. I told her to call when she got on the bus so I'd know when and where to meet her.
All morning long I heard "when is Mommy coming?" "Did Mommy call yet?" "What time is Mommy's bus?" She told the kids before she talked to me, and even though I warned them she isn't coming unless she's standing in the kitchen, they still get excited.
No call until 2:00, and she was either high or pretending to be sick. I didn't even let her finish her lie, just told her I didn't care, and she hung up on me. Then I'M the one who had to tell the kids she stood them up once again. When they asked why, I simply said she had better things to do. I'm TIRED of trying to sugar-coat it.
So now I'll be listening in on all of her phone calls with the kids, since she was warned about that. I told her if she ever again, even once, promised the kids she was coming down and broke that promise that I would listen in on the calls to make sure she never does that again.
And I will no longer pick her up at the bus stop. She could get from Philly to Fargo if it meant getting drugs, so she can certainly get to NJ if she wants to. She can have one of her "johns" drop her off and if she's high she can get him to drive her right back home again.
She can do whatever she wants to from now on. I really don't care, and I think her father feels the same way. It's been too much, too often, and for too long.
I am sorry for what your are having to endure with your ddmom. Poor babies getting their hearts broken over and over again. Are you keeping track of all of the things she does or doesn't do? Are you keeping track of the dates and times she shows up and how she looks and acts?
I document document document everything right down to if my dd has a hair out of place. Ok so maybe not a hair being out of place, but you get the picture.... lol
All I can do with my gs and gd is love them even more and shower them with affection. My gd asked the other day where her "mommy" was and I told her that "she isn't here but guess what? Papa and mama are here and we love you very very much and are so happy you are here with us" She gets a huge smile on her face and says, "thanks mama I love you too."
It's so awful that our children do these things to our babies. It just breaks my heart because your hubby's daughter doesn't care about those babies. Does she not see that with her broken promises to the children that she is destroying them a little bit each time she does this? You grands are going to grow up not trusting people thanks to your hubby's daughter. I know you and your husband are doing a great job at not filling their heads with empty promises. Great Job.
Is your phone equiped with speaker phone? We always put my dd on speaker for the babies to talk to. That way if she even starts the least little bit with an attitude, I immediately end the conversation between her and my gs and gd.
We do not tell the babies anything. I'm like you. Unless shes standing in the kitchen physically in front of the babies and us, we don't say a word about her coming over. Too many times she said she was and didn't.
Good luck to you...