Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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PAW PAW called him his SON!!!

scgramma
scgramma
Apparently biomom was in garage and playing rap music on her cell. DH said turn that crap of , we don't have gs listening to that garbage. She replies he's my son , I'm letting him listen to it, its nothing bad.

He jumps up and yells at her "He's my son, I'm raising him, your not . Dss took your son. You haven't gotten him back so he's my son and I am not having him listen to your garbage and hang with your trashy friends. He's my responsibility, and I'd be the one having to bail him ourt of jail when he's corrupted by you and your trashy ways."

I cant help but being pleased pawpaw has started calling gs his son.
He has said over and over how much he loves him over the past year.We have been raising him for 2 years, dss had him for 1 year. He's 3 years and 2 months old.
He has complained about not wanting to raise more kids, that she needs to get it tgether and get her kids back. After 2 years, I think he's figuring it out as well. It's just not going to happen. Biomom gave birth, brought him home to my house, then insisted on taking him to biobstrd house for a week, lost him to DSS at 5 1/2 weeks old from abuse.. I got him from DSS at 13 months old. I figure If /dss had him 12 months, and I had him for 25 months, why does her having him 1 month make her the MOM?

He calls me Mom, and Gramma, since he has heard her and her sister call me MOM. Now she's mad about that, and tells him I'm gramma. He is ignoring her, says 2 moms.

I really want to adopt him, looks like pawpaw is getting there too.
If she doesn't get baby girl back in 4 months ( I have temp custody per DSS) then I am going to ask dh about adoption.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What an awesome feeling you must have that hubby is calling your gs HIS son.

Hubby and I are the same way. We call the babies OUR babies, but haven't called them our son and our daughter to anyone but each other. Your's and his analagies are right on and perfect. What right DO they have to call themselves parents? We do everything for these babies and I mean everything. Just because we didn't give birth to them doesn't mean we aren't their mom and dad.

Kuddo's to you both for standing up for your babies and they will know who is always there for them no matter what
SaraBT
SaraBT
It's a wonderful, freeing feeling, isn't it, scgramma?

Once we realized that my husband and I ARE Mom and Dad, it eased some of the resentment that came from feeling that we were nothing more than babysitters while "mom" partied.

We, too, have now had our grandchildren longer than either of their bios did. I notice that when She calls, She can't think of anything to talk about other than "how was school? Did you do your homework?" She must still think they're 3 years old.

Now that I consider myself their mother I find that I'm more willing to become involved in their lives, and do all of the things I resisted when I was just watching them until "mommy gets her act together."

Mommy will not get her act together, and it no longer matters, anyway.

WE ARE ALL MOMMY AND DADDY NOW!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know the feeling too. When I talk about our kids. They Are Our Kids. At first I felt like I need to explain that but now every one I know will say " how are your kids?" I am both mom and grandee and po po is po po. But last nite when the "son" joined scouts I wanted to make sure he would have some one that could do activities with him if need be as po po can't always do them. So I call on Uncle Pete and asked if he could help out and be play dad when needed. When my son got home I told he that Uncle Pete would be his part time dad if needed is looked at me and said "I thought po po was my dad why would I need a part time one?" Kids are so smart.
Out of the mouths of babes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Missy is our daughter in every sense of the word other than legally and that will be taken care of in the next couple of years. She is my son's daughter but there unfortunately he is never going to be capable of raising her because he is just not responsible enough. He got a bar fly prego...how responsible is that???
I love him but he is barely able to take responsibility for himself let alone a child and then on top of that a child with this many issues!!

Yes, we are the parents, we are grandma & grandpa but we are really mom & dad. Biology is not the determining factor to parenthood.

I'm so happy for you that your hubs is starting to realize that this child is yours...not hers. :)
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
SaraBT, I don't know about everyone else, but I can really sense a wonderful change in you over the last couple of months. It must be like you just said, that now that you realize that you ARE Mom and Dad, it has eased some of the resentment you felt. I know you said before that you never really wanted kids, but God obviously had different plans and knew you'd be a good mother to the ones He had set aside for you ;0) Keep up the great work. Your post today just really brought alot of joy to my heart. I've had my GS for 6 months now & I truly think I'll be in it for the long haul because my son and the mother are both addicts, too, and have made NO progress in 6 months. My son is in a better place as far as his use goes, but he's still not clean and still not making progress with getting his GED or getting a real job, a vehicle, housing, etc. Mom is with a new bf who has money and can/does provide her dope. As I said, it's only been 6 months that I've had him by myself; although he's lived in my home most of his life. I'm very comfortable being "MawMaw" at this point, but who knows how that could change a year or two down the road. It will depend on how often / how much his parents stay in touch with him, I guess. Anyway, ladies, I hope everyone has a wonderful day. We are all blessed, even though taking on these little ones does also come with alot of stress.
balibird
balibird
Our grandson calls us mom and pops. Our daughter still puts emphasis on grandma and grandpa when she is here. But this child is 7years old and she has been an addict for 14 years, close to 15.It would be a miracle if things changed. I would lay down my life for this little boy and so would pops.
We need both parties to sign off. Only 1/2 has. But it doesn't matter. These kids need ALL our love. We should not feel that we need to be reserved in the least. We cannot ever recapture the time we have with them.