Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Sunday was my grandmother's b'day party and my mother never showed up.She is very close to my grandmother [even when she is her xmother in law] and would never miss something like that for her.My Mom's phone was out and i couldn't reach her so after the party I went to see what was wrong and found that my mother was very sick and had passed out that morning but refused to go to ther dr because she has no insurance.I begged her several times to and told her that we would find a way to pay the bill but she still refused.So I stayed for several hours to make sure she wouldn't pass out again and went home.Monday morning her and my Dad shows up at my house asking me to go the ER with her.When we get there and they run a bunch of tests the dr comes in and tells me that her blood sugar was 457 and that she had some kind of infection.He starts telling us that she needs to watch her sugar levels better and I tell him that we would have if we had known that she was diabetic but we didn't know because she hadnt been to a dr in several years because of no insurance.They admit her and start teaching us to take care of her diabeties and put her on a strong antibiotic for the infection.She was allowed to get up to go to the bathroom but that was it.Everytime she had to go she would get dizzy and I would have to hold her up.She was released last night under the condition that I bring her home with me for a while and take care of her.
When I told the nurses that she has no insurance and has no way to pay the bill they send in people to talk us to help take care of it.She qualified for her bill to be completely wiped out and the dr said he would try to make sure that all her takehome meds were on the $4 list at Walmart.So now her 3 meds are only going to cost $12 a month and they gave her a glucose monitor before she left the hospital.I will have to figure out how to get the test strips but that is ok I will find a way to make sure she has all that she needs.My hubby called his father and he said he thought he had a couple of extra vials of them and would be glad to check and if he did he would give them to her.So for now that is taken care of.
I have 7 brothers and sisters and only 2 came to see Mom and the rest didn't even call at all until she was getting ready to go home and had the nerve to get mad because I was taking her home with me.My 1 brother lives with Mom and had to be there to get his and my sister's children off to school and be there when they got home but he did come to see her in between and my Youngest sister would come in 2 or 3 times a day and see her and called every hour to check on her but she has 3 young children and no one to take care of them so she couldn't stay with mom and she made sure I had something to eat.The rst of them wouldn't even come and stay with her an hour so I could go home and see to my family so i had to stay with her the entire time.Then have the nerve to get mad because I brought her home with me!!!! Well guess what ?They all can just "bite me"and get over it! I will do what is best for Mom with out them and they can be mad all the want!!!!!
When I told the nurses that she has no insurance and has no way to pay the bill they send in people to talk us to help take care of it.She qualified for her bill to be completely wiped out and the dr said he would try to make sure that all her takehome meds were on the $4 list at Walmart.So now her 3 meds are only going to cost $12 a month and they gave her a glucose monitor before she left the hospital.I will have to figure out how to get the test strips but that is ok I will find a way to make sure she has all that she needs.My hubby called his father and he said he thought he had a couple of extra vials of them and would be glad to check and if he did he would give them to her.So for now that is taken care of.
I have 7 brothers and sisters and only 2 came to see Mom and the rest didn't even call at all until she was getting ready to go home and had the nerve to get mad because I was taking her home with me.My 1 brother lives with Mom and had to be there to get his and my sister's children off to school and be there when they got home but he did come to see her in between and my Youngest sister would come in 2 or 3 times a day and see her and called every hour to check on her but she has 3 young children and no one to take care of them so she couldn't stay with mom and she made sure I had something to eat.The rst of them wouldn't even come and stay with her an hour so I could go home and see to my family so i had to stay with her the entire time.Then have the nerve to get mad because I brought her home with me!!!! Well guess what ?They all can just "bite me"and get over it! I will do what is best for Mom with out them and they can be mad all the want!!!!!
When my mom (Alzheimer's) came to live with us I could tell my brother resented it; yet he didn't have anyplace for her to live even if he wanted her with him. He resented the fact that I got "all her money" which was only her SS check -- and that went for adult daycare, Depends, etc. Her house was in such poor condition we were fortunate to get anything for it, and that went for her care as well.
When she died he and I fought bitterly over who would pay for her funeral. I had to, because I had already gotten "all her money."
We had been close before, but that sort of put a wedge that affected our relationship ever since.
Then when we got the three grandkids the family said "we'll help! Anything but to let them go to foster care and be split up." But when we actually need help they're too busy, committed to something else, working, yada-yada.
I guess that's the way it goes for most of us...
As far as the family....They sound like the people that always say"if you need ANYTHING just let me know" and then they are useless. I wouldn't worry about them being mad @ you it sound's like they aren't any help anyway.
Taking on your Mom's care right now with everything else you have going on....just make sure that you take care of YOU!! Don't spread yourself to thin and end up sick yourself.
Thoughts and prayers and a great BIG HUG!!!
First, I am so sorry you've been treated badly by your family. Like Sara, when I took gc they all said they'd all pitch in, but no one ever has, except gf has bought some larger items about 2 times. (car seat and mattress)
Honestly, though, when I read your post my overall thought was thankfulness! In fact, I was in tears of thanks! Your mother is better, they found out what was wrong and it was treatable!!! THEN, they ERASED HER BILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a blessing that must have been for all of you! :)
The diabetes test strips and things are not covered by many insurance companies, so even if you have insurance, you often have to purchase those supplies yourself. My uncle did. So the amount you had to pay and the outcome of the incident was so wonderful I was literally in tears for you all.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to all of you! Tell your mom I wish her all the best, and while the diabetic diet is hard to adjust to, it is basically just healthy eating and she will feel much, MUCH better following it than she has for years! (speaking from experience with my uncle's diabetes).
God Bless!
As for me being such a strong person I don't see that I am so strong.I just see what needs to be done and i do it and don't wait on anyone else to step up because i know they probably won't.I love and respect my mother and would do anything for her.I guess you could say that I am from a different generation than my sisters because I am so much older then they are {12 years between me and the next oldest] and I see things totally different then they do.