Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
My daughter called and asked if she could take my granddaughter (8 months old) for tonight. This is my son's child...not hers. I way too quickly said YES...ABSOLUTELY...SURE....HOW SOON.... I think she knew that I really needed a break. She has 2 children of her own and is a workaholic, so I never ask her for help. Anyways....I packed her bag and checked...rechecked....made sure I didn't miss packing anything and I say anxiously waiting for her to pull up. You would have thought that I was waiting for Publisher's Clearing House! I don't think I've been that excited for anyone to come to my house. So she loaded baby up with all the goodies...I gave her a kiss and inside I went. I didn't know what to do!! So I went to Starbucks and treated myself and came back home. I didn't want to spend this time cleaning or doing anything that I have been needing to do. I just wanted to do nothing and be quiet. So here I sit at the computer....already missing her. This is a much needed break for me, but I just feel a little lost without her. She is in the best hands for sure, but she's not in her crib for me to kiss goodnite. How it amazes me that I say....I would do anything for a break.....I get a break now and my heart is empty without her. Is that weird? I have just been able to keep her safe and happy. So I will hopefully be able to sleep tonight....no baby monitor tonight!!!! or I'll be watching the clock all nite waiting for morning to get her! Just wanted to share.....I did this for the right reasons.....it's just a darn shame....I miss her for overnite, but her mother hasn't seen her in over 6 months and that was only in court. Well I'm going to drink my decaf mocha, watch a little TV and hopefully call it a night. I haven't had a full night of sleep since......geez....I don't know when!!!!
Hope4Delaney
I hope you enjoyed your evening alone and didn't miss your baby too much! I totally understand. It takes awhile to get used to being the "primary parent" again, but our love for them is fierce!
redheadfrog
Hope you were able to get some rest. And, no, it is not weird to miss her already:) It is nice to get a break...if you are able to enjoy it. Glad you're taking time to treat yourself.
LucilleM
I'm glad you were able to relax a bit. It sounds like you managed to get through and maybe you can do it more often you will get better at it. What a wonderful daughter you have to take the baby for a night and give you a much needed break even if you did miss the baby.
nutsandbolts
Once in a while my GC Godmother will take the kids for the weekend. Friday through Sunday afternoon. I'm just like you, need the break can't wait for the break and then... it's too quite! Your smart not to clean. I did that once and boy the kids came home and boom within a few days you couldn't tell! I kicked myself in the butt for not doing something fun. Now when I get brakes like that I read and take a long bath. reading helps me sleep so it's all good!
chonna
I'm glad you didn't try to clean house or play catch up, sometimes it's most important to bask in the silence and enjoy the fact that no one is going to call out for you. I hope you get free time again soon, it keeps you going for the long haul.
LucilleM
It is so tempting to clean house when the kids are out of the house but so far I have resisted the temptation. The not having a tidy house any longer has been one of the most difficult adjustments I've had to make. Kids make such a huge mess and they don't see the mess. I wonder if we were like that as children.
doctortyper
I really never get a "break" with our 10-yo GS. My one daughter is entirely too busy with her 3 girls and regaining her independence after a divorce. She's the only one who understands our GS (ADHD, his mother passed away, he doesn't see his bio father - which is a good thing - but talks to him on the phone, his half-brother has a terminal neurologic disease and is dying, and he has social anxiety. I don't want my other daughter to have him overnight - she doesn't "get" him. Hubby and I are both 63. Yes, he's in school all day, but I "sit" with a terminally ill friend once a week, visit my dad, and do everything around the house myself. Ok, hubby helps once in a while. I'm so glad you got a much needed break, but understand your missing the baby. I really don't know what I'd do if I did get a break!
daisydduck
Your grandson is going through a lot and may act out in frustration. You can contact your county offices to get therapy and respite caregiver. If you walk away from him now he will probably blame himself and get worse. However, you can get help and learn how to handle this. In illinois dcfs and department on aging are working together to be sure children and grandparents get the help they need. Don't give up and be assured this is a place you can come to with questions and concerns. We've all been there.
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