Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Oldest GD and I met with her new counselor for the second time today. I really like her, I think she has gotten more info out if GD and has dug deeper then the other counselor did in 6 months.
I asked about the notes that mom sends, do I give them to GD or not? Do I cross out what I do not want GD to see? Her response was to tell me not to give the letters to the girls, to but them away until the girls are 25 not 18 but 25. Fine with me.
I asked about the notes that mom sends, do I give them to GD or not? Do I cross out what I do not want GD to see? Her response was to tell me not to give the letters to the girls, to but them away until the girls are 25 not 18 but 25. Fine with me.
We always encouraged Pinky to visit the kids often, and to call them every day. We assumed that it was her absence from their lives that was causing our eldest to cut herself, and the middle child to be depressed and anxious.
Little did we know that it was Pinky's continued PRESENCE that was the trigger. Without her, the kids were enjoying safety, consistency, stability and love. When she would visit it reminded them of the chaos they lived in before we got them, and brought up all of their fears and anxieties.
I wish to God we never saw Pinky again, but my husband still thinks that it's good for her to see the kids. I don't really care anymore what's good for Pinky, but since she isn't my bio daughter I don't have the authority to put my foot down. Ironically, Pinky's bio mom (my husband's ex) is on my side in this.
So Pinky has started to visit every weekend and I have to find a way to adjust to it. I hate ever second that she's here but I refuse to allow it to destroy my marriage, since everything else has gone by the wayside.
It's just that she looks like a hooker and parades around telling everyone she's the kids' mother. I know I have to get over that, because last Sunday I couldn't take communion because of my crappy attitude.
Pinky just affects EVERYTHING in our lives and I know I shouldn't let her. But when she's around it makes it so much harder to do that "detachment with love" thing.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
And Sara, I understand completely about not wanting her there. Its very frustrating when my daughter comes places with us and introduces herself as gs's mother. I always grit my teeth and think to myself, "yeah, biologically, not in real life tho." She still talks about getting him back, but has made no real effort to clean up her life so I know its an empty promise, but gs believes it like gospel truth.