Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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Mother's Day

grammy22
grammy22
Mother's Day is almost here. The first one the girls will not share with their mother. The youngest was having no problem with it until her sister started to make her Mom a card last night. The youngest had spent a week at school make a special Mother's Day card for me which she gave me last night. She was so excited and proud about it. It was a really well written touching three pages about how much she loves me, how much fun we have and how she trusts me to never leave her.

When she discovered her sister making Mom a card she was yellling at her sister asking How can you do that? That is so disrespectful. Grammy takes care of you. Mommy does not care. Then she went to her room while her sister completed the card.

I think the youngest is going to get though this easier since she is counting on her Mom to continue to let her down while the oldest is still holding out hope.
8legs
8legs
It is good for them to write to their mother it helps them release feeling I would encourage them both explain to to the youngest that it ok and not disrespectful it is ok for her to love both of you. I would caution you your youngest maybe hiding her true feeling and she is lashing out at the other. She needs to know that she can share all of her feeling with you the love for her mother the pain from her and so on. My gs writes to his father we dont even know where he is. He was is pirson. I just keep them so one day he may want to read them as an adult. This helped him release his love and anger for his father since he was not able to do it in person (or phone) He hasnt written in a while, he does share memories of him and I gladly listen. Good Luck
daisydduck
daisydduck
I agree w you both. Writing feelings down helps them to deal with frustration. When we adopted our vs he decided to call us mom and dad. It was hard for me at first. I felt I was betraying my deceased daughter. The therapist stressed the importance of it for our vs. She was right. He was 16 when my first book came out. When he saw the final edit which included my bio stating I had three kids, he told me it was a mistake..I had four children. What you are doing for your gc is so important in their development. Enjoy Mother's day!
EchoMom
EchoMom
My GD is very bonded with her mom. I don't want her to feel conflicted so I've told her it is okay to love Mommy, it is natural. She knows she cannot trust Mommy, but it is good that she loves her anyway.
I don't feel slighted, I get to live everyday with her. Her Mommy sadly doesn't get to share that joy.

Happy Mother's Day. (-:
SaraBT
SaraBT
My husband always told his three that they should write cards that talk about how much they love and miss their mom, but not to get the kind that talk about how wonderful a mother she is, how she's always there for them, etc.

We follow that with our grandchildren.

Since it limits the cards they can buy they often end up making their own.