This is my first time writing. I am a 49 year old grandmother who has been raising a grandson since birth, he is now 3 1/2. He was born under a protection order, his mother, my daughter is a heroin addict. We do not know who the father is. ( In my eyes that is a blessing, don't need two addicts) I know that sounds mean , but if you deal with addiction in your family I'm sure you understand. My daughter lived with me at the time of my grandson's birth and used during her pregnancy. She continued to use after his birth.He was what after many years of enabling made me strong enough to say enough is enough. My daughter was 23, she made her discussion to use drugs. It had to be her decision to stop. I could not help her, she had to help herself. However I could help him, he needed me. The day I dropped my child off in the city with $20.00 and told her to use the money for drug or for a bus ticket home, whatever she wanted, but if she chose drugs not to come home, was the hardest thing and the best thing I have ever done. A long story short she has been in and out out of rehab through a drug court program, well she almost completed it, and is now in prison for not completing the program. Life is quite now and my grandson,whom we have now adopted ,is a happy caring little boy. My daughter will be up for parole in a few month and is coming home to live. The anxiety of having her home and how it will effect our lives is horrible. I am so torn. I want her out of jail. I want her to build life, but the uncertainty of if she will stay clean and how she will effect our live, especially how she will effect my grandson's life, she has always made things crazy, is starting to consume me. I feel guilty for thinking it would be easier for all of us is she didn't come home. I love her so much, but I love my grandson and I don't want him to suffer. Any thoughts?