Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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Mediation Cancelled

dianaconroy
dianaconroy
We went to mediation with my step-daughter a couple of weeks ago, we agreed to another mediation session which was supposed to have been tomorrow. She called to tell me that she cancelled it. She said she's not agreeing to the guardianship and that's just how it's going to be. Our next hearing is next Friday. I'm feeling physically sick with worry. As most of you know, my situation is a little unique. Our daughter is not an obvious supstance abuser (although we suspect pain pills and for sure she is big into pot), she has an apartment (section 8 housing), with two bedrooms one for the kids, she gets welfare for the kids although they have never lived with her. On average she sees them one - two days a week. The only thing we have going for us is that the kids have lived with us since birth. She has other mental issues, but those are not well accepted in court. In any case, next week will be very telling. The kids have been with us since birth they are 4.5 and 2.5, and she's already warned us that she is taking them next week if we don't get awarded guardianship. I'm terrified for them. They've never lived with her full time. She also mentioned that she had the support of the kids dads realitives that are willing to help and that she had daycare setup, I happen to know that daycare is with a woman she met at a park. I can't believe a judge would allow these kids to be ripped from the only home they have ever known, but anything is possible and I have to prepare myself for the worse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Of course, any judge could give them back to her, but here's how I look at it and hopefully the courts will too. If she wants them so badly, where has she been for the past 4.5 and 2.5 years? Why hasn't she been their full time mom?

As far as the day care worker being met in the park, has your SD done a background check? Has she checked her references?

As far as the drugs, a drug user is a drug user. I would definately push that one with the courts. What happens if she's too stoned to care for the kids? Last I heard, pot was still illegal.

I would also have someone bring up the fact that she's been getting welfare and such for her children when she's never had them physically in her care. That's welfare fraud, period.

I know I sound harsh and I'm not intending to be, however, you HAVE to fight to protect to kids and if that means bringing out all her dirty laundry in court, then so be it.

I typed in some suggestions to this post but will actually send them to you in a private message because there's no telling who actually reads these posts. I seldom ever post things here that I wouldn't want certain people to read. KWIM? KWIM means know what I mean?

Best of luck to you.
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
Do you have an aggressive attorney? I would stop at NOTHING (legal, of course) to keep her from getting those kids. It's very obvious that she only wants them for the benefits they bring. I would MOST DEFINITELY express my concern about possible drug abuse and ask the courts to require testing before they even consider unsupervised visits; much less custody. I wish you all the best. I pray it goes the way it should.
dianaconroy
dianaconroy
I don't think our attorney is aggressive. Anyone we talk to that knows him goes on and on about what a great attorney he is, At the first hearing he didn't say a word. Our daughter did all the talking. I asked him why he didn't say anything and he said that the Judge had our summary and read through it and that at the first hearing the mother gets to tell her side. We'll see, this will be our second hearing in front of a Judge.
BuffyS
BuffyS
I sure hope things go your way. I'm assuming guardianship in your state is the same as custody in my state: you would have all the day to day decision-making power.

Fingers crossed.
dianaconroy
dianaconroy
yes guardianship would give us day to day power. currently she has us wrapped around her finger, we drive one hour one way to take the kids to her whenever she wants we can't plan a thing, not even a play date. She calls and asks for pampers, milk, food, etc. it's exhausting. And we do it to keep the peace and not lose the kids.