Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
My grandaughter will be 1 yr old on May 5th and has been in foster care since june of last year in ILL. I live in Tennessee and have asked for an interstate compact to bring her home to live with me and her 2 brothers.I have been given the run-a -round the entire time.I have asked to be aloud to come see her and was denied any kind of visittation even during one of the parents visits,so I have never even seen my own grandchild.The parents,my daughter and her boyfriend,at first did not want me to bring her down here because they were trying to get her back and wanted her to stay ing the same state as them.Now they see that no matter how hard they try the state is not going to let them have her so they have decided that the best thing for her is to let me bring her home and for me to adopt her with her brothers.At least they will know where she is and that she is well care for.They have told their lawyers and DCFS THEIR DECISION.
When she was first removed from the parents at 6 weeks old she was placed with a wonderful family who took excelant care of her.The dcfs worker gave the fostermother my phone number and she called me every other day to give me updates on the baby.Just before the baby turned 6 months she was removed from there and placed with the neice of the father,who was 23 yrs old,single, and already had 2 kids of her own and had custody of her sisters son.When she got the baby it weighed 15 lbs 10 oz[baby wieghed 8 lbs at birth] ,at the 6 month check up she weighed 13lbs 13 oz at 11 months she weighed 15lbs 10 oz and now as of 4/16 she weighs 16lbs6oz..She has missed several dr appointments including heart specialist [baby has a small hole in her heart] The house is always dirty with roaches and mice visible.The parents have reported several times that the baby has bruises and cuts on her at the time of their visits with her.The dr reported to the Casa worker that the baby was not being fed properly.The worker made the new foster mother keep a log of what she is being fed for a week during that time she gaines 12 oz.The Casa worker discussed this with her and she told them that no child in care is ever fed any thing but baby food untill they are 3 yrs old.So the baby is getting 3 SMALL jars of baby food a day and 4 8 oz bottles a day. When the visit superviser went to pick her up the foster mother's mother [ I don't have a clue where she was since she don't work ] told her that she could not find a jar of baby food to send with her and only sent one dirty bottle and 2 diapers for a 5 hour visit including travel time.
I could keep going on with this but I think you get the picture.I know all this because of a report that the Casa worker mailed to my daughter and she then emailed to me.The baby is supposed to moved back to the 1st fosterfamily with in the next 2 weeks.I don't understand why they are taking so long in moving her when if anyone else did a baby the way that my poor grandbaby has been treated they would take the babyand all the other kids and throw parents under a jail some where.I am leaving out Monday to go up ther for a court hearing on Tuesday.I plan to stand up and tell the judge that I have some thing to say and tell him who I am.I am going to make sure that he sees this report and I am going to let him know everything that has been going on with this baby because I know from previous expeirance that the judges never know the whole story on anything,just what the workers and lawyers want them to know.I may end up in jail myself but at least I will know that I have fought to protect my grandbaby.I am also going to ask why sibling are being kept a part and why they are not even alloud any contact or to know that each other exists.These children have the right to grow up together and to know each other.I have told the boys about their baby sister and my daughter does sneak and talk to the baby about them but she was threatened with taking her visits away if they caught her again.
When she was first removed from the parents at 6 weeks old she was placed with a wonderful family who took excelant care of her.The dcfs worker gave the fostermother my phone number and she called me every other day to give me updates on the baby.Just before the baby turned 6 months she was removed from there and placed with the neice of the father,who was 23 yrs old,single, and already had 2 kids of her own and had custody of her sisters son.When she got the baby it weighed 15 lbs 10 oz[baby wieghed 8 lbs at birth] ,at the 6 month check up she weighed 13lbs 13 oz at 11 months she weighed 15lbs 10 oz and now as of 4/16 she weighs 16lbs6oz..She has missed several dr appointments including heart specialist [baby has a small hole in her heart] The house is always dirty with roaches and mice visible.The parents have reported several times that the baby has bruises and cuts on her at the time of their visits with her.The dr reported to the Casa worker that the baby was not being fed properly.The worker made the new foster mother keep a log of what she is being fed for a week during that time she gaines 12 oz.The Casa worker discussed this with her and she told them that no child in care is ever fed any thing but baby food untill they are 3 yrs old.So the baby is getting 3 SMALL jars of baby food a day and 4 8 oz bottles a day. When the visit superviser went to pick her up the foster mother's mother [ I don't have a clue where she was since she don't work ] told her that she could not find a jar of baby food to send with her and only sent one dirty bottle and 2 diapers for a 5 hour visit including travel time.
I could keep going on with this but I think you get the picture.I know all this because of a report that the Casa worker mailed to my daughter and she then emailed to me.The baby is supposed to moved back to the 1st fosterfamily with in the next 2 weeks.I don't understand why they are taking so long in moving her when if anyone else did a baby the way that my poor grandbaby has been treated they would take the babyand all the other kids and throw parents under a jail some where.I am leaving out Monday to go up ther for a court hearing on Tuesday.I plan to stand up and tell the judge that I have some thing to say and tell him who I am.I am going to make sure that he sees this report and I am going to let him know everything that has been going on with this baby because I know from previous expeirance that the judges never know the whole story on anything,just what the workers and lawyers want them to know.I may end up in jail myself but at least I will know that I have fought to protect my grandbaby.I am also going to ask why sibling are being kept a part and why they are not even alloud any contact or to know that each other exists.These children have the right to grow up together and to know each other.I have told the boys about their baby sister and my daughter does sneak and talk to the baby about them but she was threatened with taking her visits away if they caught her again.
Please let us know what happens!!!
I am so standing behind you on this. SOMEONE has to protect your gd and it looks like the ONLY person to have her best interest in heart and mind is you.
I will definately say a prayer for you, not only for a safe trip, but also that the judge will open his eyes and see where that precious baby truly belongs.
Please keep us updated and posted please.
maybe you could do a counter proposal. Maybe the foster mom would allow you to stay with her for a little while (2wks to a month) with the other grandkids and the court system could make all of its required visits during this time and you could bring the baby home at the end of a month. I know this would take a lot of work on everybodys part and be inconvenient to everyone but at least it would be in the best interest of the baby.
Prayers being said. Good luck and keep us posted.
My mother was Protestant, my father Catholic. This was before the Church changed a lot of their policies. My father's relatives had my brother baptized Catholic while babysitting him. Apparently my mother was so upset she would allow me to visit them only when she or my father were present. And we rarely saw them because of the great divide that used to exist between Protestants and Catholics.
They loved me. I knew it and still do, and I loved them very much. But that lack of continual contact throughout my childhood affected my relationships with my grandmother, my aunt and my cousins. I'm just not as close to them as I am to my mother's family, and every time we see each other at a funeral or wedding we all complain that we need to see each other more. And we all laugh about how much we all look alike. In recent years we have started to have lunch or dinner together. But sadly, it will never be the same as if we had grown up together the way we should have. The "habit" of turning to each other was never established.
I wish more people would understand that the consequences of their petty "I'm not going to let you see that side of the family" will come back to haunt the child and remove what could be a close and loving relationship.
Just to add another thought to that: The people who were most bothered by "that side of the family" will eventually pass away. The cousins who remain will have no idea why they have blood relatives somewhere out there that they've never had the chance to know.
It's very, very sad.