Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
As most of you know I went to court yesterday for guardianship and I was denied pending an investigation. On the ride home I had a heart to heart discussion with my step daughter, during the discussion she started to cry and said she had her own feelings about the situation (being that the kids are with me and my husband), she went on to tell me that the other day her oldest daughter, my gd picked up a cotton ball flower (the type you make a wish with, don't know the name), and made a wish, the wish was "I wish I could live with mommy forever", the funny thing is that at around the same time she (the 4yr old), had me light a candle and sing happy birthday to her (it wasn't her BD, she just likes doing that), and she made a wish and the which was "I wish I could live with you and papa (me and my husband) forever". Of course it brought tears to my eyes, and it made me feel like this battle is worth fighting. Now I hear that she said the same thing to my sd. What should I make of it? I told my sd that she (the 4yr old) had said the same thing to me, and I truly believed that her desire was to see us as a whole family forever and that my wish was that after all of this court stuff is over, regardless of the changes we can come out of this intact.
The thing about kids is that they can't see everything we can, like moms choice of boyfriend, etc. Some one here (forgive me I can't remember who) made a point of hugging the mom in front of the kids and saying positive things about the whole family. I think that is very beneficial for the kids.
I agree with mystery that they're SO confused. They love their bios, they love us, but something in them keeps telling them that they belong with their biological mothers and fathers. And they're not sure why they can't be like everyone else.
It must be awful for them! I just ignore it. If there ever comes a time when they can live with Pinky we'll see what they choose to do...
Manipulative is a learned behaviour.Your GD is not being manipulative, she shared with each of you. Children are pure at that age. Remember the old saying "Out of the mouths of babes" they call it as they see it, they don't know how to hold back, and they do not know politics!
If the children have been with you most of their lives, then take heart in how you are bringing them up in a correct mannor.