Yeah, just worried about the govn't shut down since I am now a furloughed employee. More stress.
I haven't talked to my daughter but she has been texting me. No matter what, it just keep turning into an argument. She doens't understand the big deal on things.
I have tried to explain that I have given her so many opportunities to grow up and act like an adult and but the babies needs first. Get a job, pay bills, educate yourself etc... and none of it sinks in. Her live in gf is supposed to move out on the 11th. She made a big deal about that because they are "just friends" and she helps her out. The big deal to me is I don't run a flop house and I am not housing anyone else. Its my house and I say who lives there and if she doens't like it- get out and go with her.
She is supposed to go to DSS today and sign up for the "work first" which is NC welfare. She has to do 25 hrs a week looking for a job to get a whopping $236 a month. That wont even cover the gas, but she does get daycare, which will be good for the baby. Even on 236 a month, I don't know how she will survive on her own with that little bit of money. So I know she will end up staying at the house because I don't want my gb on the streets.
Now the new gf she has from Fb. My daughter lies to me that they dated and she met her parents etc... BEFORE she brought her to the house to meet baby. I asked who watched the baby while she was "dating" and she made up some BS- then I checked the new gf Fb page and she has been with 7 women THIS MONTH- including dates w/ other women on the night my daughter supposedly met her parents.
Its just the lies never end. I am so stressed out constantly and have doubled up on my xanax just to sleep. Everyone says "take the baby" but its not that easy. My lawyer says I have no grounds just because I don't like her social life. But its more than that, its bringing strangers into my house around my gbaby and moving people in and not telling me. I feel like I have to be ther 24/7 to keep an eye on the place and the baby & I can't do that.
So as of now its still a mess, I still worry about my princess, I still get mad at my daughters lying, I still want the old gf out of my house and don't want the new gf in my house but can't do anything about it. Just keep paying....... I am going there this weekend, but not telling her im coming. So we will see what happens.

Welcome momag24...

why not write up a contract for the daughter to sign... state she and GD can live in the house and no one else and if anyone else is caught living in the home she will have to vacated imminently... and when she is with out a place to live you will have grounds for taking GD...

put in the contract she must have a job within 30 days and pay a percentage of her weekly towards household... even if you don't use the money you could save it for when she needs it and it will teach her to be responsible...

cut her off and let her experience real life... she need that to appreciate what you do for her.

BTW if she is on drugs, that is grounds for taking the GD... with what you are saying the chances of that are more likely than not.

good luck!

She actually just called me. She got on the work first and got approved for daycare. I have told her this past weekend that we are going to draw up rules and such and sign them both (since she says I ask too much). The gf is moving out on the 11th (yea!!) and she knows the other gf is not allowed at house but I am not there to check. But I am there on weekends (and I have a nosey neighbor) to make sure she doesn't move in.
I want to believe that she wants to work (although, she never really has worked). I just pray that one day there will be SOME improvement.
I have been working on the contract and asked her for input on what she wants from me so we may have mutual respect in this (hoping that will encourage her to follow rules per my therapist). From here on out, I can only see what happens.
I know she is not doing hard drugs, just smoking pot. But like I tell her, thats like telling a drunk they can still drink wine. Plus if you have $$ for that, pay the power bill.

Mammag24, welcome to the group, I've been reading the post and I feel I should warn you about something. You said, "I know she is not doing hard drugs, just smoking pot".
Please understand I use to feel the same way regarding pot. My DD has her green card here in AZ. Pot is not like it use to be when we were kids. The levels of grade would put you and I on the floor drooling for hours! The pot that is out there now is 99% THC. Then we can go with the WAX which is 99.99% THC. they smoke the wax, that is still made from pot. It only takes the size of a point on a pin to get high and its cheaper buying wax than it is a bag of pot.
I want you to think about the strength of the pot now a days and then think about your DD smoking and then ask yourself where is your GD? If she smokes in the house then theres a good chance your GD might have or can have lung issues down the road. Since pot is a much denser heavier and more irritating to the lungs the smoker will get COPD down the road. Ask your DD to see her pipe. Scrape it and look at the gooey black residueThat is in her lungs! But most of all is she a couch potato pot head smoker? Is she a casual smoker, or a daily smoker? Doesnt really matter cause when she is high she is putting her baby girl in danger.
You might want to see if on your agreement with your DD to write no smoking pot in or around the house. Agree youll come home take care of your GD while she goes out with friends for party time.

Good luck!

Nuts brings up some valid points. Also, a side effect of smoking pot lack of motivation. I highly doubt she will be capable of complying with a contract. She may promise but they usually cannot follow through. Note I said cannot instead of will not. They fry their brains with drugs and then pretend they are normal. Sad but true.

I understand that about the pot and I hate it. I have never been around drugs or people who do them which was why in the beginning I missed all the signs. Sometimes I feel like I have to pick my battles because I don't want to "bi!(h" at her all the time.
I just wish there was a peaceful medium where I can help her and she can help herself. It just seems impossible.
I am still working on the rules agreement and haven't had any input from her yet.
If the goverment shut down doesn't get fix, next week is my last check so things are going to get worse.

Good to get your update mammag24. It should be quite a relief when the gf moves out - one less person to support. Sorry about your job situation. We all hope that's soon resolved. Hope your dgt has an epiphany and gets a grasp on the realities and responsibilities of life and motherhood. Your dgt will most likely be fighting you tooth and nail as you attempt to change the dynamics of your home. People who use and manipulate others get extremely out of kilter when you change the way you deal with them. It's make or break time. Hold your ground - esp. for gd's sake.