Count me in. I have been so busy working and caring for everyone, I forgot what it's like to get dressed up and go out to dinner. I too cared for my mom until she died at 91. I also cared for my daughter until her death at 28 and now my husband has been disabled for the past 23 years. I'm tired and would really like to enjoy the good things in life. People always say I should take care of myself, like ok...love to, but there's a few problems with time, money and responsibilities. Most of the time I am happy that I can do what I am doing but sometimes, like tonight, when I am tired and hurting, it's hard and yes, I feel alone. But I know the sun will rise tomorrow and all will be well again. Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone. We will survive my friend. God Bless.

My husband and I feel the same way. When friends tell us about a great new restaurant, and say "you have to try it!" or they tell us they've just seen a fabulous new movie, we just smile and say "one of these days." But we know we won't be able to do it -- it's next to impossible to find reliable babysitters for three little kids. Our lives have pretty much zoned in on kids, school, being at home.

We do have a chance to have dinner with friends next Saturday, and my husband's daughter, fresh out of her sixth rehab (maybe the 10th, who knows?) says she'd like to come down. If she IS fresh out of rehab we can count on her for a few weeks, so we plan to take full advantage of her to babysit. We know this is probably a temporary window of opportunity that will close the next time her friends ask her to party. I hope we get to go!

There are times when I long for those days -- meeting up with friends for dinner, having great "grown-up" conversations about books, politics, life. Traveling, being able to go to a flea market on a whim. Heck, being able to go out for a gallon of milk on a whim!

This forum is great because it's the only place we can go where others understand!!!

I'm right there with you. It seems like my husband of 33 years and I were just getting to know each other again and enjoying our freedom when this new adventure began. We had bought our new Harley and were planning lots of things. Now we are just dreaming again. I feel like we don't fit in with anyone, not the young parents and not our old friends. I feel like my friends and family don't include us in much either. At first I think that I made them miserable to be around me because all I did was talk about my situation, but I try really hard not to discuss it anymore. I love my gc so much, but I do miss my old life.

nannyp, you sound just like us. My husband had a great early retirement plan. He used to be an over-the-road trucker, so we hardly ever saw each other. He'd get home just as I was going to bed, so when he retired we thought we'd have the chance to finally be alone (when we got married he had three adolescents, so we never really did have a chance to be alone). Within one month we got the three grandchildren.

Maybe when we're in our 90s, if we live so long -- but then we'll probably have to raise our great-grandchildren :-)

I think the majority of us do...... lol.

When I took on my gd at first I didn't think of it, but then as I walked it out, I realized my life changed - going to the movies w/ friends, going out to eat at the drop of a hat w/ a friend, or just getting in my car to spend time alone at the park; I realized I could no longer just jump in the car and go out of town b/c I had a gd now to consider. Yes, most of my friends cannot related either, except the one and thank God for her!! My gd is still not attending school so I can only imagine what that will be like someday. And my family hesitates on some invites knowing I have the 3 gk to bring along since I sit the other 2 w/ the one I'm raising. Hugs out to you Ms. Kat51

I feel lonely in a house full of people. How can that be? There are a lot of buttdinski's in my family. Always with the unsolicted advice on how they would handle things. I think I am bordering on depression here. I have always been the person to try so dang hard to hold everything together, but as of late I feel like I am unraffling. I feel torn in so many different directions. If I spend an extra minute with one boy, someone says I favor that one. If it is the other one I spend an extra mintue with, it is you need to spend more time with so and so. I feel I can not win for losing with these buttdinski's, and it is very difintely taking a toll. I sit most days with tears ready to explode at any given. I question my intentions all the time. But then those hugs nd kisses and I love you very much's give me the strenght to pull it all togehter and get on. I try never to look to far ahead because one day at a time is all I can do.

I there with you too! I might have more in common with the younger mom's but I don't care for the inmature attitude of so many!
There are parents older than I am in the 11 yr olds class and some real close in the 9 yr olds. Funny thing is one mom and I that search each other out at events for the older ones class is either the youngest or close to it!

Funny uh? I had my children young. All of my youngest daughter's friends are the oldest sibling in their families and their parents are my age. So now I am in this weird phase. My GS and I attend playgroups with our local birth to three program. All of the parents seem to be teens to early twenties. There is one set of grandparents who come with their GDs and they are in their 60's. I am the inbetween. I have no friends with small children of their own. I do not fit in anywhere at all. But you know what I can hang with the young parents and offer advice as I am seasoned and I can accept advice from the aged to perfection.
Other than not fitting in, I used to dream about my husband and I being a couple...Now I dream in reality...camping trips that involves smores and sticky fingers, amusement parks without roller coaster rides for me cause I have to stand in line for the train 100 times, quiet walks in the park in the rain have turned into a game of tag ok so you all get the picture. When I feel as though I have let my dreams go by the wayside, I just have to remind myself that I am living someone else's dream for the moment and it a whole lot more fun. My kids and GC keep me young. Who wants to be an old fuddy duddy anyhow?

Hang in there. I raised 3 kids and finding babysitters was hard. However, soon they will be old enough to each spend the night at 3 different friends house while you go out. Look for teen babysitters names at YMCA. check with your youth groups at church. Lots of girsls would like to babysit. Give them a video and some popcorn, let them watch a movie while you go out. Teens should be able to watch 3 kids for a couple hours.

I dont really have any friends except my children. If I go to the movies I go with one or all of my kids. Usually we go see a Disney movie or we get great grandma to watch the grandkids and we go see something besides a Disney movie. When we go to dinner we go with our kids or our parents or both. We do have date night where hubby and I go out once a month we have a spend the night party once a month for the grandkids where they all come spent the night and I fix breakfast for everybody (the kids eat and pick up the grandkids) is it weird that we dont go to out with people our own age, friends? We are very content and happy being with our kids, grandkids, parents, and each other. Is that weird?

We got an invitation for our once a year luncheion with old friends from church next month. We have to do lunch because they don't want to drive at night. The whole group is between their late 50's and upper 60's. I mean, am I supposed to stop living because I'm in my 60's? I love to see them but when we get together they are showing off their new sports car, talking about vacations and cruises, and what to do with their 401k. They look at us like we're freaks because we lost everything through my daughter's illness, my husband's stroke and medical/legal expenses for gs. We have no regrets but I find it difficult to talk with these people. They live their lives in such a narrow band! We are so busy doing things w/gs. If that's what retirement is about, I'll take the kids!

I just miss the freedom most of all.

I love having my gs, don't feel tied down because he's 15 now. I love watching him play sports and grow into a terrific young man. I would be bored stiff without him, I think. But, I also miss adult company sometimes and I don't fit in with anyone else. I'm too old to fit in with my grandson's parents and don't have anything in common with others my own age, so sometimes I feel a little alone.

Meant to say I'm too old to fit in with the parents of my grandson's friends - hey, I'm the same age as THEIR parents.