Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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Just having a crappy day

JanAndRob
JanAndRob
Yesterday son came to see gd after no contact for more than a month. Just his presence in my home is enough to gum up the works. He's my son, but I have no motherly feelings left for him. If gd had not called him, I dont know when we would have seen him. Today I changed his tel number in my phone to a phoney number so maybe that will deter her for awhile. She's 4 and she misses him (sometimes). I have been cranky and feeling just plain crummy all day. From now on when he calls I am going to have my husband take his calls. We hesitate to set up supervised visits because we dont want to have him on a regular basis at a visitation center which could encourage him to be around weekly or whatever. I guess I want it all my way, after 15 years of 'all about him'. I am just venting tonite. Tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks all.
grammy22
grammy22
Cell phones are just wonderful the kids learn early how to use them and they do not need to memorize a phone number. My girls are old enough and smart enough to use my cell phone. They call other people but they have never tried to call mom. Before I go to sleep I am going change the number so they can not call her.
SaraBT
SaraBT
During our phone call the other day, Pinky said to me, "I guess the bottom line is that I either clean up my act or stay away altogether."

I said, "yes."

No answer. They just don't get it at all.
daisydduck
daisydduck
As many of you know, we lost our daughter to brain cancer. The pro lems with grandson started when soil married backroom. The one thing we all have in. common is protecting our grandchildren. The question in my mind is why do these so called parents want to see the children they have abandoned emotionally and physically? If they can't contribute to parental responsibility why should they see them? I question whether these kids really miss them or think they're supposed to because theyre called mommy or daddy. I understand this is your child but how much hurt can you take?
EchoMom
EchoMom
Hi Jan,
This answers my earlier question, I am sorry that it caused you such stress.
Praying for peace and wisdom in your home.
grammaga
grammaga
I know exactly what you mean! As soon as one of the bios start talking about coming to see the kids, I start getting irritated!
SaraBT
SaraBT
Daisy's question is spot on! "The question in my mind is why do these so called parents want to see the children they have abandoned emotionally and physically? If they can't contribute to parental responsibility why should they see them?"

Exactly. It isn't as if they're some distant aunt and uncle who drop in now and then to see the kids. They are their biological parents!!!!!!! Once they give that up, they should move on with their lives and go party, the way they decided to when they first abandoned the kids.
dianaconroy
dianaconroy
I couldn't agree with Daisy more and for this reason I never ever encouraged or made bios feel guilty for not seeing the kids. After all seeing the kids is about making them selfs feel better, and in turn a reminder that mommy and daddy aren't there.