This is may62. Thanks for you note. You might try getting a therapist that deals with reactive attachment disorder bettrr known as rad. Also get the book when love is not enough by Nancy thomas it will help you understand his behavior better and how to cope with it. I find that prayer has helped me alot. I will be praying for you us grandmas have a big load to carry but God will help us thru.

My grandson has been in Trauma Counseling. He's in Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy and for the first time in his little life he is going to school Full-time. I will definitely buy the book.

I feel for you so much, I understand how difficult it is. I have three wee ones age 6, 4 & 3. They all have behavioural issues which I am trying to manage. Like your wee one they have been in and our of care all of their short lives. I fear that they maybe returned again. I know what you mean about feeling alone, I do too. I also avoid going out as I struggle to control the three of them. I also feel ashamed and avoid my neighbours. I still feel at some level that my parenting is deficit to have raised a son who can do this to his own children. I wish that we could all get together for a coffee and a hug ! You are not alone though and I so admire you

I really can't say weather or not your parenting was deficient . We all make mistakes it's not like we were handed a Parenting book when we birthed our children. It was up to them to grow up and not make the same mistakes we did or at least try there hardest. I wouldn't be ashamed of your situation with the neighbors what you're doing is admirable and if they can't see that then join a Woman's Bible Study where they have Daycare and make friends that appreciate you and what you're doing.
My daughter was a Heroin Addict for 6 years and did the drug while she was pregnant. My daughter has been sober over a year. I am not ashamed of my daughter I never gave up on her, not once. I prayed for her and asked got to give her the enthusiasm to live and that she (who was an Atheist) would find God. Both things happened. My Grandson will be adopted by this coming June. I gave him my word that I would never let him fall in the hands of Foster Care again. I mean that. I am so thrilled my daughter is alive and well but I ail never let my grandson be put in the arms of anyone who hurts him..
You have 3, you have your hands full. Glad you shared your story.

I feel you emotional distress. I am temporary guardian of my three grandkids. I am living in their home with their mom who is working on her recovery. She cannot have unsupervised time with her kids so I must be here all the time or pay for a babysitter. I am so resentful. She gets to go out in the evening and do whatever she wants and I have the kids. I have no social life. All the groups and activities that I used to be involved with I have had to stop. I don't want to be the children's guardian but see that she is not capable. If I had them at my own home where I had some control over the environment it would be easier. Now I not only have to take care of the kids but have to rein in my anger at her lifestyle. I pray and pray and know that God works on his own timetable. I just want my own peaceful, orderly life back but do not see a way back from this. I am ready to die but know I am the best person available to take care of my grandkids. I love them very much but also resent them too. They get mixed messages on correct behavior, chores, etc from their mom and me. Of course, I am the bad guy. The kids resent me and want me to leave. This is a really tough life. I think they are going to make me permanent guardian this week. I want to decline but have heard such horror stories about foster care. I need something to look forward to. I need time to myself. I would love to tell you things will get easier but I fear they just get harder.

HELLO, I have had guardianship of my 6 year old Grandson since April of last year. He was in Foster Care for a year because his father's girlfriend would beat him and lock him in rooms for hours at a time . sometimes he would go potty in the room because she wouldn't let him out and then his father would come home and beat him for it.
He was put in Foster Care for 1 year . It was a nightmare. He was abused and molested in the Foster Homes.
I am 50years old. I am terribly lonely. I never have adult interaction, These last 2 weeks that he has been going to school full time has been the first break iv'e had since April and it feels wonderful. I had to wait 6 months till his behavior improved but the day has come and tonight me and a friend I haven't really been able to hang out with is going with me to Weds night Bible Study tonight. Your time for freedom will come but you have to have faith in God that He will get you there.
Your daughter is taking advantage of your presence in her house. I think it would be better if they were in your own home. Why don't you ask about that?
This is hard, very hard and I know your pain and thank you for sharing. I had to step forward for my grandson and put my needs second to his for the rest of his life. Thing's are getting better. There is light at the end of the tunnel but I don't always see it. There are those day's where I feel doom but they pass.
Foster Care is horrible for children in a lot of cases.Some Foster Parents have made a career out of Fostering children and it's all about the money and the children pay for it.
You resent your daughter,I get that. There are moments when I resent my grandson but not many. It's not his fault.
I don't have much of a social life and gets me down at times but what I am doing for my grandson is giving him life and that's more important than me. I know that by doing the right thing and raising him everything else will fall into place. I have a strong relationship with God. That helps a lot.

How sad for those children that they are brought into this world and the one person that is supposed to raise them, can't. They grow up with bad attitudes from being neglected then nobody wants them.

I think most of us feel very alone most of the time despite the fact that we are literally NEVER alone.
gammy99...you are being used,though. It would be easier for you and better for the kids if you all were back at your house. Is that at all workable? This way they have 2 adults(though their mom really isn't one) when they need 1 authority figure to make them feel safe.

I appreciate being told not to tell my story too automatically, especially in a Stepford atmosphere. Here it isn't sharing, it is something that makes you an abberation and "different" in a bad way. Thanks for that.