I am 64, husband 67. We have been together since 2003 (match.com!), married 2008. Husband had no kids, and I came along with 2 sons, one now 29, addict since 14. My terrific husband took it all in stride, the stress, the financial burden, the late night calls, etc. We decided to cut loose 5 years ago after my numerous Alanon meetings. So, we had about a year of real peace, stopped waiting for the middle of the night terrifying overdose call. Then came the phone call as we were enjoying a lifelong dream cross country 6 month camper/motorcycle adventure.
My son and his girlfriend pregnant. Our beautiful granddaughter was born and shortly after we took off for another half year. Sending money, money, money for each and every crisis. Suspected continued drug abuse, but we didnt know much about girlfriend. Came home to have our Bella sometimes 5 days at a time. So then we knew it was both of them. Scary home conditions, filthy, unsafe...you all know the story. Bella was diagnosed with Leukemia May 2013. Only because we kept up with her symptoms and pursued with specialists. Who thinks a 3 year old limping and falling for 3 weeks with clear xrays is just fine??? We wanted to contact DSS many times, but feared that if they did nothing the parents would keep her from us and her safety was at stake. She also has a 7 year old sister, from a previous relationship. The hospital saw something amiss and contacted DSS in Sept. Within 2 weeks we got Bella (guardianship till age 18) and her sister went with her dad. DSS wanted us to take both, but we have a very small house, two rooms!
Bellas treatments are difficult, she often only sleeps 2 hours at a time, and we are really tired. But, she is safe. Her parents are still using. So frustrating, but our care is now about the girls; the parents are on their own. It is difficult to be around them. I want to shout, scream, all of it. But its about Bella. Many family members still get sucked into helping them. Not us, not any more. I have no forgiveness for parents who did not stop when a child was born addicted (I just got the records of her birth, and it is very sad reading the nurses notes), did not stop when they were busted riding around with both girls in the car and buying and using heroin, did not stop when the Leukemia diagnosis came, did not stop when they lost custody of the girls. Whatever their rock bottom, it is not here yet. They both go to methadone clinic, and take just enough so that they can still get high. They are manipulative, selfish, lying users of everyone and every public system around them. This is really good to get onto paper! BTW, Bella is doing great. It is a 2 year protocol with a 90% success rate. Our lives are greatly enriched by her presence. My husband is a dear man and Bella and I are so fortunate to be with him. And thank you all for being here.