Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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I want my real mommy

dianaconroy
dianaconroy
I know that most of you have posted that your grandkids ask for thier bios all the time. But I'm not used to it. The kids have lived with us since birth and our youngest the 3yr old knows no other mommy. But the other day I picked hiim up from daycare and he said "I miss my real mommy", I want my real mommy", to which I responded "I'm real too", he repeated it. " I want my real mommy", I said I know what you said, but I'm real, right? He smiled and hugged me. Not sure how to address this. We never talk about why they live here and not wth thier mom, they never bring it up. This way of living is normal to them.
SaraBT
SaraBT
I have found with kids (and many adults) that it pays to ask questions first. Like "what do you think a Mommy is?" Or "who is your real Mommy?" "Why is she your real Mommy?"

The answers you get and help lead you to the next question, or an answer. Sometimes kids ask questions but the REAL question is something totally different.

My middle granddaughter once said she wished she lived in a "normal" family. So I asked what a "normal family" was. She described our family to a "T" -- except for the fact that her bio parents weren't raising her. Even she realized what she was saying, because she totally burst out laughing halfway through her description.
mommagain
mommagain
My BG bio dad passed in an auto accident hen she was barely two and even then she didn't have contact with him more than a handful of times... she says all the time she misses her daddy that is in Heaven but NEVER says she misses her mom that had her for nearly three years. When she says she misses him... I ask her questions like what do you miss about him and I will tell her stories that I know about him and tell her to draw him a pic or write him a letter an we will sent it to him.... we put it in a balloon and let her release it... that seem to work.. Seem funny that she misses a dad she never knew and never ask about a mom that she was with nearly three years.
mynanny4
mynanny4
thought I would let you know something cute my gd did the other night (she is 3 yrs old). We were at the dinner table and just begun eating when she starting yelling, "everybody be quitet for a minute" We all stopped talking and she told us to all join hands, which we did. Then she bowed her head and said "We is a happy, big family Amen". Needless to say, we all had a smile on our face the rest of the meal.
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
Oh my goodness, Mynanny, what a PRICELESS MOMENT!!!!!! Those are the kind that get us through the horrible ones and keep us fighting. How sweet.
daisydduck
daisydduck
Our daughter passed away when her son was only 14 months old. When he was about 3 he started preschool and hearing other kids call "mommy" made him curious. He asked me: "are you my mommy?" I said I was his grandmomy. Our younger daughter lived at home then and watched him frequently. he asked her the same question and she told him no, she was his auntie. We then sat down with a few pictures of his mom and told him she loved him very much but God took her to heaven where she could smile down on him and watch over him. That was it. He called me "Daisy" (story is in my book) and my daughter whose name is Colleen, "Cowween". When we adopted him at age seven he quickly started calling us mom and dad. The therapist said it was important for him to do so. It's so confusing for these kids.