Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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/ Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

I'm tired!!

mamawx4
mamawx4
The babies have been a handful this week.Anything they could get into they have and have been especially whiney.It seems they are in constant need of attention.I am so tired and depressed.I have been with them every day of their lives since birth.never leaving them longer tha it takes me to run to the store and right back.I love them dearly but I need a break.I can't afford daycare and there are no 'mother's day out'programs or co-op child care in my town so that is not an option.My mother can't keep them for me any because she has all the other grandchildren all the time.She has custody of 2 and the others are just left with her all the time.There is no one else that I would trust with them so I have no other options.I feel so alone in all this.My friends and family leave me out of alot of things because they know I have no child care.
Does any one else have this problem?Am I the only one who feels that are left out of every thing because of the love they have for their grandbabies.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please know that you are not alone! I responded in your journal and hope you get a chance to read it while you are still online.

Love ya,
MawBear
daisydduck
daisydduck
I know how you feel. You get isolated because you take in the grandkids. It wasn't so bad when my gs was young bcause we were so busy. But now that he's 18 and moving on to his own life, here we are. We've lost touch with our friends because their concerns are their 401k and what they will do with their leisure time. (like what's leisure time?) They are not interested in our day to day challenges of raising a teenager. It's lonely and I really want to get out and make new friends, but that's not always easy either. We spent our money on lawyers on doctors and now really can't afford to go out much. I agree with you. It feels like we're punished for doing the right thing. Know we are all here and understanding what you're going through. I don't think any of would change what we have done, but it's not easy. God Bless.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mawbear is right. You're not alone on this. I use to have many friends/family I use to do things with. That all has pretty much stopped. My life is no longer my life. It belongs to my grandson and making sure he is happy. I also feel depressed a lot of times but it is getting better. When I look in to his eyes every morning, I wouldn't change anything for all the money in the world. It sure would be nice to have "me" time sometimes, as I know we all need this. Take care and write, vent, cry anytime you want. God knows I've done my share. Hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My heart is breaking for you....I can only imagine how hard this is on you...do you not have any family members that could give you a break once in awhile??close friends? I am raising my 2 year old grand daughter...since she was 10 days old....but I am forunate that her other grandparents take her one day a week...sometimes more and one full weekend a month...and I am so very very grateful for that. Do you have a YMCA in your town? because they usually have programs that offer free daycare while you get some pampering...because you really deserve a break once in awhile. Please take care of yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hang in there! my husband and i are going through the "disappearing
Friends" things right now. you really find out who your true friends are. in our community we have a place called LEGACY LINK. they offer all types of services to older people. one service that helps me is that 3'rd thursday of the month, they have a grandparents raising grandkids meeting. there is free babysitting and you get to sit and cry, listen, laugh, just breathe a little bit.
also AARP has many resources to offer people like "us". you can check it on the web, or i am sure they can offer you advice by the phone.
please know that you are not alone. there are days i curl up in the fetal position and cry...but then i get back up and face the day! as i am sure you do.
i am sending you hugs, love and fairie giggles to brighten your day!!
grampam
daisydduck
daisydduck
Please go to my post for Presidential Race. There are addresses to write to both candidates to identify grandparents raising their grandchildren. We need to bombard them with our stories and the many needs we and the children have. You have to go to their website (link is included) and you will not find family or grandparents on the list of issues. I put economy since we have all had our pockets stretched to the limit. Hopefully we can get their attention.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so with you I am raiding my 22 month old g/s my daughters son I take him to work with me b/c I have no one to watch him so I am with him 24/7 my sons and their wives have offered to keep him while I work or go out but one live too far and the other has a three year old I also watch him while they work and go to school so I know how hard it is with the two together so I dont want to put that on them sooo I have him 24/7 hopefully he will be in mothers day out starting tomorrow I found a great program for him so he will be able to stay there while I workthank to Lord but he is sooo attached Im just not sure how its going to work
daisydduck
daisydduck
I read an article in AARP when we got custody of gs. It said that the grandkids are like velcro, hanging on to the grandmother because they are afraid they will lose her too. It's such a scary time for the kids. Even though my gs is not 18, at times it seems like he just attaches himself to me and it's always times when things are unsure in his life. Thank God we are there for him. Sounds look you are doing a great job!
deleted_user
deleted_user
The isolation from family and friends is very real. It is strange how we no longer fit in our friends world, they no longer want to be in ours and family is non-existant because they for the most part would not have chose the path we all did.
I have come to accept that my old friends have different lives than doing homework every night but I am thankful for what they showed me, which was, when times changed they left just like the kids and I had the plague.
When the boys were younger it was hard, now I am greatful to realize there really is life with little ones around all the time. I some where over the years forgot how simple things were like, remember what wet leaves smell like?
They bring a new learning experience to life that only our gc could and I am greatful for that.
My heart aches for you, but remember, we are all behind you cheering you on!
Have a great day.
Ria