Is it possible to hate one of your kids more than you love them?

So sorry your day has started out with hurt & disappointment even though having something verified is better than the constant wondering. I do not feel as though I can comment on the issue of now or later, to many variables unknown such as age of gd, how much contact bio mom has had, why does dad have daughter, ect. With them only being separated is does complicate things. My first thought is you should consult legal advice.

"Is it possible to hate one of your kids more than you love them?" It certainly can feel that way at times! But I really think it is that we hate what they do, the choices they make, the havoc they reek in the lives of those they supposedly love. I believe the love remains for the child we knew & the hopes we had in them but that there must be an emotional division so that we can make the tough decisions.

The GD is 10 but mostly has been taking care of by her dad even when both parents were living in the same house. With both of the parents not having a job money is a big issue for them. My husband and his dad have both put out alot of money. Right now we cannot afford to put out money for an attorney.

I had to put my daughter out after living with us for a year. She did nothing but sleep eat go on the computer and have her bf over, she went through 4 different bf's. Always drama her screaming on the phone with her bf's, them calling collect from jail and charging it to my phone. She had $350 in collect calls from the jail, my gs 5 didn't want to go to school or daycare cause he knew she was always home. She set no example for him at all, and made everyone feel like they were walking on eggshells. So I had her move out, she started renting a room in a guys basement, now shes on disability for her bipolar. We hardly ever see her she could care less about her son. You have to do whats best for your family, its tough to kick your kid out but it is true that you can really hate them. Its hard on us to go through years of drama and crap with them and not feel anger and resentment. Good luck in your decision.

It is entirely possible to love them but hate what they are doing. Keep the two things separate. Wait until Christmas? Are you looking forward to him being drunk on Christmas, or disappearing before then? How will your gd take that? My bio son walked out of our lives, including our gs's to whom he was uncle and godfather and professed he would always be there for him. Our gs also worshipped the ground he walked on. He walked out just as gs was getting into teen years. Gs suffered migraines and problems in school after the walk out. Therapist said it was just one too many people abandoning him. I begged my son to reconsider, and promised him if the the problem was with me and/or my husband, we would work out details so he could remain involved with gs. He ignored my pleas. In your situation, are you putting off the inevitable? An option is to approach your son and tell him he needs to keep sober. He should sign up for rehab and rules must be no alcohol and he attends meetings or you will have to throw him out. You need to make his responsible for his decision to drink. Your husband is being extremely passive aggressive. You need to tell him "I need you to step up to the plate and help". Be careful because you may be enabling them both. If bio mom is out of state and you are listed as guardian you can seek temporary custody. I believe you should seek at least temporary and should win if they are not parenting.

Sorry you are having such exhausting and painful issues.

As for "hating" a child, I think it boils down to the fact that your son is an ADULT, not that little child. It's not your responsibility to raise kids at your age and with your health issues.

I'd give him 60 days notice and stick by it.

Love to you.

He got his notice for first of the year, not gonna upset gd here at Christmas. He is not drinking when we are home it is while we are on the road.

Is he able to be a responsible father to your gc while you are on the road and he's home drinking?

He will be very responsible for up to 2 months then just freaking falls apart.

Snippy are you sure, or did he just get better and smarter on covering it up while you're gone?

He actually let me go to therapy with him this week and before it was always so private with him. But what pissed me off was that he the doc told him the same thing I've been telling him and he acted like a light bulb went off that he had never heard it before. The doctor told him that he was not letting go of the old Wade and that was why he chose bad friends. Even though he was doing better that he needed to let go of the old Wade. I still told him that after Christmas all was enough and he needed his own place so he can make his own rules and live not by mine. I'm just tired. I love him so much and for years I took alot of blame cause I stayed with his dad for 19 years and he was a working alcoholic but i don't feel that way anymore.