My husband and I stepped up to the plate two and a half years ago for our youngest grandchild. CPS was going to remove the child from her mother, because of substance abuse, and when they tested our grandchild she tested positive with high levels of meth and cocaine. No one from the agency explained to us on what to expect from a two and a half year old who is fixing to go through detoxification (withdrawals). Unbeknownst to us at the time it had been going on for over a year. Boy was that some tough times. My husband works full time and I had her 24/7. I’m not some dainty push over but let me tell you that girl had me bruised all over for about 5 months. 

In the beginning we went for guardianship /custody because of doctors and dental visits, counseling, speech, pre-school.... Without us having legal custody of her our hands were tied as to the help we could give her. Eventually we were granted primary custody and that’s when the birth mother started to go crazy. Threatening bodily harm to us as well as her child. Multiple police reports were filed and, as I’m sure you know, until any action is taking they cannot do anything but file a report. Our attorney suggested, and we agreed, to go for full adoption. Even though our children are in their 30’s and our other grandchildren were well on their way. Long story short, a year and a half later, I feel like a single parent. As I type, my husband sits seven feet from me and I still feel alone as he spends his time on the computer or his phone. Our relationship is not even close to what it once was. I’m either doing laundry, cooking meals, grocery shopping, cleaning up messes and the house, helping her get bathed, dressed, fixing her hair, dealing with school, counseling, gymnastics, doctor and dental visits...., not to mention his; oh can you....... Maybe I should have posted this on the lonely site. Lol. I’ve tried explaining to him that I need some help from him and he has told me just let me know, I’m not a mind reader, so I have asked and it’s the same okay in a minute I’m busy right now. Thirty minutes later I do it and at that point I’m pretty pissed. I’ve tried going to church, for about a month, sadly to say it just seemed like more work.

At this point I’m trying (financially and physically) to help our eldest granddaughter plan her wedding. Our eldest grandson comes home every weekend from college. I love them all, but I feel so drained most days.

I’ve started seeing a counselor about three months ago. I don’t think I would have done anything different with our adoptive daughter, I know God puts nothing before us that we are unable to carry, but I must say this load is getting heavy. 

Thanks for listening and I apologize for going on and on. Gods blessings to you all