Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Today our middle son (my stepson) got married. We have one of those three-hour gaps between the wedding and the reception - I hate those!!!!
Anyway, I've mentioned before that his and Pinky's mother abandoned her three kids and my husband for a druggie boyfriend when Pinky was 6 and the boys were 8 and 9. For five years she had virtually no contact with all three until the day my husband and I met and got married. Then all of a sudden she was Super Mom, except that behind our backs she was letting the kids smoke cigs, drink, and do drugs.
Since my husband had custody, he and I basically raised them until they became adults. I've been very close to all three, even with Pinky's problems. They say they respect me more than they respect their mother, who is a total lunatic.
So back to the wedding. Their bio-mom, who has lived 1,000 miles away for years, came up with her horrific husband. SHE is mother of the groom. SHE did the formal introduction to the bride's mother (they're Vietnamese, and there are all sorts of formalities.) SHE got the bouquet of flowers. I am basically no more than a guest.
Her son told me he feels bad about leaving me out, but he says "you know my mom" and we do. Even though she and I get along well enough, she's a drama queen and would pitch 30 fits if she weren't the center of attention.
I'm just whining because I'm the one who was there for the kids for the past 20+ years, and I'm the one who is raising HER grandchildren. She couldn't do it because this and that.
Grrrrrrrr! Thanks for letting me whine and vent and act like a baby. I'll get over it. LOL!
Off to the reception where I'll watch HER dance with the groom.
Anyway, I've mentioned before that his and Pinky's mother abandoned her three kids and my husband for a druggie boyfriend when Pinky was 6 and the boys were 8 and 9. For five years she had virtually no contact with all three until the day my husband and I met and got married. Then all of a sudden she was Super Mom, except that behind our backs she was letting the kids smoke cigs, drink, and do drugs.
Since my husband had custody, he and I basically raised them until they became adults. I've been very close to all three, even with Pinky's problems. They say they respect me more than they respect their mother, who is a total lunatic.
So back to the wedding. Their bio-mom, who has lived 1,000 miles away for years, came up with her horrific husband. SHE is mother of the groom. SHE did the formal introduction to the bride's mother (they're Vietnamese, and there are all sorts of formalities.) SHE got the bouquet of flowers. I am basically no more than a guest.
Her son told me he feels bad about leaving me out, but he says "you know my mom" and we do. Even though she and I get along well enough, she's a drama queen and would pitch 30 fits if she weren't the center of attention.
I'm just whining because I'm the one who was there for the kids for the past 20+ years, and I'm the one who is raising HER grandchildren. She couldn't do it because this and that.
Grrrrrrrr! Thanks for letting me whine and vent and act like a baby. I'll get over it. LOL!
Off to the reception where I'll watch HER dance with the groom.
Clearly you have the closer relationship to your steps in real life. You are a classy lady to be so gracious and not make waves. You're a better person than most would be in your position.
I hope at the very least that you danced with the groom too!
Suddenly my stepson said "I hate to delay the food another minute, but I have to do something special for the most important person in my life. I want to dance with my stepmother."
And the song he chose? OMG I tear up thinking about it: "The Wind Beneath My Wings."
I couldn't believe it -- all of the guests came up to me afterward and said they started crying, because they all know who his "real" mother is.
It SO made up for the lack of the flowers, and it was truly a wonderful thing that he did!
Gives me hope that my GS will one day know and understand the sacrifices we have hade and will continue to make for him.
I know you are ecstatic!
So happy for you.
What did his "mother" do when he said that about you and danced with you? I can't wait to hear this. hehehe. Doesn't it give you the satisfaction that he thinks of you the way he does? I'm not sure about how you interacted with him while growing up, but for me, If it were me, then I would feel like something I did stuck with him.
Way to go on being there for him.
The only "down" part to the whole thing was that my stepson ran the idea by her first to get her "approval." My husband says that negates the whole thing. But the bottom line is that he made that announcement over the PA system to 150 friends and family members -- and said I was the most important person in his life. (I doubt he ran THAT one past his mom. Hee-hee-hee.)
I'm glad you had your time to shine...