Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
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Yesterday our eldest granddaughter was baptised at our church picnic. It was a wonderful day, and she was so happy.
The original picnic was in July, but we had that derecho storm that knocked out power to the entire area, so it was rescheduled.
At that time, I had been explaining Christian salvation to all three children. My husband and I both made it clear that they should wait until they really, truly wanted to be saved, and not to give into pressure from anyone. All three decided not to be baptized.
Shortly after that, however, our eldest received the Lord and decided that she wanted to be baptized at the rescheduled picnic.
Long story short, Pinky was running around acting as if this was her Most Important Day. Introducing herself to everyone as the MOTHER, telling the pastor that SHE led her daughter to the Lord, hugging and kissing our eldest, crying, you know the drill. And of course she arranged it so that she is the only "parent" in the pictures that were taken. (I took my own video from the other side of the pool.)
I found it so hard not to cop an attitude during a BAPTISM of all things! It took all of my strength and prayers to keep me from stomping away. But this is what Pinky does at every opportunity. Birthday celebrations? There's Pinky in the pictures. And she sets it up so that if I ask to be in a picture it would look as if I was just "getting her back."
I had the chance to pour my heart out to a lovely Christian woman at the baptism, and the Lord must've been with us because she smiled "that smile" and let me know she knew exactly what was going on. That made me feel better, at least.
I know that the kids will grow up knowing who was really there for them. The logical part of my mind knows that. But it still frosts me no end that we grandparents are doing all of the work and the bios still end up with the credit.
On the other hand, my granddaughter was waiting at my car to kiss me goodnight (she spent the night with said Christian woman and her daughter). Pinky had gone to the ladies' room. When Pinky got to the car she was nowhere to be found, and Pinky got mad. I sort of smirked to myself. Not a very Christian attitude, I know, but...
The original picnic was in July, but we had that derecho storm that knocked out power to the entire area, so it was rescheduled.
At that time, I had been explaining Christian salvation to all three children. My husband and I both made it clear that they should wait until they really, truly wanted to be saved, and not to give into pressure from anyone. All three decided not to be baptized.
Shortly after that, however, our eldest received the Lord and decided that she wanted to be baptized at the rescheduled picnic.
Long story short, Pinky was running around acting as if this was her Most Important Day. Introducing herself to everyone as the MOTHER, telling the pastor that SHE led her daughter to the Lord, hugging and kissing our eldest, crying, you know the drill. And of course she arranged it so that she is the only "parent" in the pictures that were taken. (I took my own video from the other side of the pool.)
I found it so hard not to cop an attitude during a BAPTISM of all things! It took all of my strength and prayers to keep me from stomping away. But this is what Pinky does at every opportunity. Birthday celebrations? There's Pinky in the pictures. And she sets it up so that if I ask to be in a picture it would look as if I was just "getting her back."
I had the chance to pour my heart out to a lovely Christian woman at the baptism, and the Lord must've been with us because she smiled "that smile" and let me know she knew exactly what was going on. That made me feel better, at least.
I know that the kids will grow up knowing who was really there for them. The logical part of my mind knows that. But it still frosts me no end that we grandparents are doing all of the work and the bios still end up with the credit.
On the other hand, my granddaughter was waiting at my car to kiss me goodnight (she spent the night with said Christian woman and her daughter). Pinky had gone to the ladies' room. When Pinky got to the car she was nowhere to be found, and Pinky got mad. I sort of smirked to myself. Not a very Christian attitude, I know, but...
All the way home from the picnic/baptism, Pinky kept talking about how she signed up for GED classes, and how she has to "start her career." I think that she believes if she's talking about it, it's being done. I couldn't wait to drop her off at the bus stop! LOL
As of right now, than God, I am not dealing with that type of situation. My daughter seems remorseful for the situation she has put her son and myself in. I just pray she's "remorseful" enough to make the changes she needs for herself and her baby.
Naturally, Pinky is trying to force it on them. I keep telling her that it won't count if they don't want to do it, so Pinky's trying to force them into wanting to. Oh, how I wish I could keep her away from them altogether!!!
I've been in that position, as well. If it's at a school function I don't say anything, because all of the parents already know that we're raising the kids. So I just give Pinky enough rope to hang herself. LOL
With any other gorup, though, I would have to speak up Oh, so sweetly, "yes, she's their mom. I'm her grandmother and we've been raising them for seven years now!" I'd love to see what she'd do then. HAHAHA!
I wish it were so easy to keep Pinky from special events. The problem is that the kids are now old enough to give her dates, times and locations. She gets rides from people (which never ceases to amaze me, since we're about 40 miles from Philly). And the real kicker is that, once she shows up, the kids flock to her as if she's the Second Coming -- and I end up being the one who's there alone.
You did an awesome job. I am proud of you, too for acting like the bigger and better person. Kuddo's to you.
A week or so ago, we had OUR kids' birthday party at a public place. MY lil girl was upset over something and her "mom" tried to console her. Nope, MY lil girl wasn't having that and she pushed by her mom and came right into my arms. It ticked off my DD but too bad. It's all about the kids and what they want and who they want. My DD did this all on her own and now she has to suffer for not being able to be "Mommy of the year". If she wanted pictures of them then she had to take them herself. She is NOT getting mine. That may sound stingy to some but my theory is if she can't be a part of their lives 24/7 then she doesn't deserve to know what's going on with their lives and see them grow up in pics.
Also, for the person who commented on her FB pictures being taken by her DD, my DD used to do that too. It ticked me off to no end that she was doing this so this is what I did. I set the pics of the kids to custom and blocked her (It's the bottom option under the Custom setting) from seeing them period. I don't tag any of my photos so she can't get them from someone elses page as far as I know. Also what I do is the same thing when I post things about them (funny sayings etc). Again, my theory is if she can't be a part of their lives 24/7 then she doesn't deserve to know what's going on with their lives and see them grow up in pics.