Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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mamawx4 09/06/2009

I have custody of my 2 grandsons and they are as different as night and day!The oldest will be 3 in October,the yougest is 21 months and they are brothers.The oldest one is a very laid back child,never gets too far away from the adults.Never gets into anything.I can tell him 1 time to not to do something and that's all it usually takes.He never has wanted to go near the road[we live in rural neighborhood and not a lot of traffic but what we do have tends to drive too fast].The little one is just the opposite.He is always into something or doing something he has gotten into trouble for a thousand times.If we don't have him right in front of us at all times with our hands on him he is GONE!!Today we were all inside and I thought he was in the bedroom with his aunt and she thought he was with me when someone looked out the window and saw him out in the road comming from a neighbors yard.Now mind you we always keep all the doors locked for that very reason.Now apparently he has learned to unlock doors!![He can see you do something one time and learns how to do it himself].There was some woman stopped in the middle of the road trying to get him to show her where he belonged.I am still shaking it scared me so bad!!!I just keep thinking what could have happened to him,he could have been stolen or hit by a car or fall off the little bridge into the stream and drowned.The only time we ever spank him is for getting in the road or something else as dangerous and it just hasn't worked with him.How do you teach a fearless 21 month old to not go into the road?And he is just that:fearless.He's not afraid of the road,big dogs or other strange animals or people.I raised my own kids,helped with all 8 of my siblings and 56 neices and nephews and I have never had a problem with any of them like I do with this one.If anyone has this problem I would love to hear your sugestions on what to do.Maybe some of you other grandmothers might know how to teach him healthy fear of these things.

deleted_user 09/06/2009

Hi mamawx4

We are raising 2 of our 4 grands. They too are brother and sister. The oldest is 3 and the youngest is 2. When my gd learned how to open the doors, we went and got the round door knob covers to start with. They can not get them open. We also have door chime alarms on the back door, set to loud. If the back door comes open, it chimes rather loud. Our house is also alarmed and monitored by a company. If any of the windows or doors open, we get the signal inside. The door chime on the back door was bought from Radio Shack and I can't remember the exact price, but it wasn't too expensive... less than $100.00. For us, no price was too big to protect our babies.

mamawx4 09/06/2009

We are going tomarrow to get the door alarms and install them and we already have the knob covers but when the front door is open we lock the storm door and he has learned to unlock it so we are going to get another type lock at the hardwear store for it also.

deleted_user 09/07/2009

For the storm door, I'm not wondering if asimple latch for a few bucks won't work.. You can install it up high so he can reach it. Oh, by the way, from reading several of your posts, I think you are doing an awesome job with your grands

SaraBT 09/07/2009

I have another grandson who's fearless. Fortunately my stepson and daughter-in-law have a fenced in yard with high-up locks. But I wouldn't be surprised if he climbed the fence -- and he's only 2!

So far he hasn't hurt himself, but I've never seen such a fearless child. He swims and does flips into the pool (with his vest on, of course)! And he has this mischievous look on his face like he's always thinking up his next move. He is adorable, though. His older brother and sister often keep him in line, as do our grandchildren - he actually LISTENS to them! Go figure.

God bless you -- I don't know what I would do with such a "demon child" (that's what we all call him - HAHAHAHAHA!)

mamawx4 09/07/2009

That's the way Jasin is!not afraid of anything and always has this little grin on his face like"what can I DO NEXT TO SCARE mommy to death?He will be going toward the road when we are all outside and he'll watch to see if anyone is watching him .If anyone tries to chase him he will take off just a flying around the house and out in the road.
We are tring to get up the money to put a fence around the yard but money is so tight that we hardly have an extra dime.And as you said about your grandbaby,he will probabaly just climb over it,anyway.

deleted_user 09/07/2009

I use the old fashioned eye hooks on the top part of the inside door where they can't reach even if they stand on a chair, so far so good. As for outside i have a well trained dog that will not let her out of the gate. He will litteraly stand in front of the gate and bark until we respond and he has been know to sit on her when she was smaller. I really like the alarm idea though. Might have to get one of those.

deleted_user 09/07/2009

i would get him into as many activities as possible. and if you can not afford the orgainzed ones i would keep him active on my own. i would play ball in the front yard, and run round as much as possible. take him to the road teaching him to be mindful of not crossing, and if he ever does go to the edge of the yard to tease i would give a short time out. other wise, playing soccer, ball toss, kick ball, bowling, swimming, even dance will allow him to spend his energry in a postive manner. all the kids i've been with seem fearless at one age or another.

deleted_user 09/08/2009

You have to have a full frontal approach! I also have 2 grandsons, one completely different from the other! The older one is cautious, the younger one will do anything. The older one asks the YOUNGER one to go first because he knows he will do it!! LOL! On top of all those suggestions above, have you talked to him and told him about the dangers out there? About why he has to stay out of the road? He sounds very smart, and I bet he understands what you are saying. BIG cars, BIG dogs, falling down in a hole, are all things a 2-year-old might understand. But, it's also time for discipline and a time out any time he does those things. Any jumping off of furniture, any escaping out the door, anything that can be dangerous gets one warning and then a time out. Get the other child(ren) involved in being a help in reporting, because he could injure himself. Don't beat yourself up. Two-year-olds escape. It's not like he was out there all day. Those alarms aren't expensive (I think they come 8 to a package!) and you can put them anywhere. But be sure and tell him DO NOT GO OUT THAT DOOR!! lol

mamawx4 09/08/2009

He did it again yesterday!!This time he was supposed to be sleeping and climbed out the window over his bed about 2 foot off the ground.But this time I think my neighbor scared him real good because he was proweling in his garage.He {the neighbor}told me that he scolded him real good for being in there and threatened to spank him if he caught him over there again and then brought him back to me.I don't think he really would but Jasin came back screaming.All my neighbors are good people and have banned together to help watch out for him.You ever hear the old saying that it takes a whole village to raise a child?Well,I'm afraid it may take the whole neighborhood to raise this one and keep him out of trouble.I'm not saying that he's a bad child because he's not he's just curious and wants to explore but he scares me to death.

mamawx4 09/08/2009

By the way,I am having people come today and put alarms on every window and door!!!I have heard of a system where you put sensors all through your yard and a bracelet on your child and if the bracelet goes through a sensor it alarms on a remote type thing that you carry with you.It apparently is something like underground fencing for a dog but it doesn't hurt the child just sets off an alarm.Has any of you heard of it or know where to get it???

deleted_user 09/08/2009

Put dead bolts on the doors or slide locks up at the top of the door frames where it is wayyyyyy too high for those little fingers. Oh and if he is that inquizative you probably child proof all your cabinet doors or he will be drinking the cleaning products as well!!

These little carpet crickets are fast aren't they, lol

deleted_user 09/08/2009

omg mama i know it is not funny but all the way to the nieghbors house into the garage? boy how do you sleep at night? i hope the nieghbor really scared him! keep us posted on your escape artist!

mamawx4 09/09/2009

He didn't even try to leave the yard yesterday.He stayed pretty close to me all day.So maybe our neighbor did scare him real good.By the way the neighbor lives directly across the road at the end of our house so he only had to cross to be in their yard.i think that either their big dog or their motorcycle[he loves them both] is what atracts him there so much.

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