yes but like with every diease you have to seek treament for it. Some people with cancer dont want treatment and some do and they fight and loss the battle. Addiction is like that you first have to seek treament and then fight has hard as you can for the rest of your life to beat the disease. an addict has to want to get better before they can get treament I know that Al-non teaches us to let the addict go which I have done now if she wants to get clean I would drive her to a rehab but that would be it until after she had sobiety under her belt for a year. I will always love her but I can not have her in my life. Diconnect with love. On the site you are talking about there are alot of family members that have not set bountries for themselves. It is a work in progress. I have been working on mine for 4 years and have just now let go competely having no contact with my daughter. I still love her but will not live the life of an addict. There are somedays I think she would be better if god took her home to him. Once you are an addict it is a hard life to live you must fight everyday and the stats are not good for them. I had a coworker who was an addict (25years sober) say that the longer the sobiety the scarey it got. She said you get relexed think you are healed and you slip. I have never used ,tried drugs in my life because I was too scared of them and I just dont see how one can recover from it. so please love your son but let him go love you grandchildren raise them enjoy them as they grow. Morn the loss of the child you knew and love him from a distince. I hope I helped a little

I agree with 8 legs. Just like any disease, you MUST fight it. My daughter knows she will get no help from me. It took a few years for her go give up trying to get money, rides, place to stay from me. I use tough love on her because I love her and am not willing to enable her destructive behavior. She also knows I love her, I will be there to help her every step of the way when she really beats her addiction and the only way she will get my help is to stay clean, out of jail and start acting like a normal person for a period of time. To date, she hasn't made it. I learned to disconnect from her drama and we get along better. I don't ask any questions, I don't get upset when she gets arrested, I don't react to her when she tells me she is living with this scum bag or that criminal. It has saved my sanity!

You can love the addict and hate the disease without letting them pull you into their world of drama. I know I feel the crushing feeling that I should do more for my dd, but every single time we did rescue her and try to help, it just made things so much worse. It is hard to love someone so much and yet try to keep some distance so you can control the impulse to try to make it all better for them.

I think a lot of times we all get confused by the feeling of love and what love actually is.

Love has been defined as the desire to seek the best for someone - in other words, it's an action thing. The feeling is just that, a feeling.

We can express love for someone by refusing to enable their bad behavior. We're seeking the best for them, and that can happen whether or not we have warm 'n' fuzzy emotions toward them. The feelings are the icing on the cake, in other words - but we shouldn't let them dictate our actions if they would go against seeking the best for that person.

One way this is expressed so well is in the Bible. We are to "love" God. Since we can't see Him, Jesus is specific that to love Him is to obey Him. Obedience is an action, not a feeling. If we have feelings of love for God, so much the better, but they're always secondary.

I hope that makes sense :-) (Sometimes it is hard to fight emotions and do the hard thing, but when it's necessary, that's true love....)

Un like a physical disease, there is no cure. All the love in the world will not change your son. Understand it is better that he do this on his own.