Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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Gs asking about bio

scgramma
scgramma
Gs was crying about never meeting his dad, he's 7 and his sister is 5.
I told Gs his fathers name and that he loved him and held him when he was born .But that like His mom his father was too young to be a dad and couldn't take care of him. And I told him his dad made some bad decisions and is not safe to be with children and lives away from here.
And that a judge said me and pawpaw should take care of Gs because his mother and father could not.
5 minutes later he asked about his cousin and I told him that little boy is being adopted and lives with another cousin and husband
Because his parents couldn't take care of him.
He said "like me ?" So we talked about how a lot of kids aren't raised by their parents.
He then told his sister about having the same name as his dad. He's happy about that, I'm not but won't make a big deal over it.
I hope I didn't say too much or too little. His bio gets out of prison for ghouls abuse in a few weeks....
SaraBT
SaraBT
Isn't it a shame that we even have to explain that sort of stuff to them?

I can't imagine what it's like for a little kid to look around and see proper Mommies and Daddies and the dog - in real life as well as on TV. Then they think about their own lives and know they're missing something huge.

It's disgusting, is what it is.
fortress
fortress
I think you did well with your explanation scgramma. I agree with Sara that is sad we and the kids are in the situation that we have to explain disturbing issues. I think when the kids look around and see that they are lacking what seems 'normal' for most everyone else - that they internalise it and feel that somehow they aren't 'good enough' to have that basic family unit - even if they cannot express it.
JanAndRob
JanAndRob
"ghouls abuse" ??? hoping that is a typo, or is it some new way they have cooked up to waste away their lives and kids?
scgramma
scgramma
Ghouls abuse is a typo, or spell correct, it was child abuse of Gs. He was slapped and sustained face bruises and ruptured blood vessel in his eye and leg fractures at 5 weeks old. Fathers story changed from accident to baby was crying to he was mad because he didn't think the baby was his.( gs was too white to be a mixed race child??)..ghoulish kind of fits .......
Can't tell gs all of that
EchoMom
EchoMom
Sounds like you did a good job to me...(-:
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel for you having to explain those things to your grandchildren it breaks my heart, I agree with SaraBT on seeing things on tv, I watch Babys First Tv and they have a segment on "mommy and me" with pictures of moms and their children with a touching song and I think, what about the children out there who do not have that, what goes through their little minds and hearts. I do pray all goes well with you situation, just love them love them love them, win win :)
scgramma
scgramma
I really hate all the cookies with mom and donuts with dads days at the school, why can't they just have a family day and stop torturing my kids?
daisydduck
daisydduck
You handled it well. Kids have to go through the process and many adults w/deny it and only confuse them further. My gs went through similar regarding his mom (our daughter). We reassured him he was loved and cared for and shared just a few pictures of her holding him as an infant. I think a lot of this comes from other kids asking questions and the gc seeing young mothers. It is painful for us to watch but they will get past this with your love and help.
dianaconroy
dianaconroy
I might be proven wring some day. But for now my kids are happy and it's what matters. When my kids talk about being in mummy's tummy I join in and talk about how hard they kicked and how I would but my hand I moments tummy and they would kick so hard! And I then tell them I I was there when they were Bon and how I held them and how tiny they were. Before you know it they are so excited that I was there and they hug me so tight. My point is that when I see things about mommy and daddy. I don't feel bad for my kids because they have a mommy and daddy In us. We love and protect them, more then Thier bios ever. Would. Our kids are very lucky to have us'
nutsandbolts
nutsandbolts
dianaconroy...I do the same thing when they start in about bios. I tell my oldest how I was there at the operating room door and when her Dad and nurse brought her out...I was there to great her! Then my middle one I look at her and I tell her I cut the cord that connected you and your mom. My little guy, I show him a picture of his altrasound and tell him I carry it around, cause I couldn't wait to meet him ans as soon as he was born I held him for hours!
dianaconroy
dianaconroy
At the end of the day what they want is a sense if family. We're family and we shouldn't make them feel like Thier not normal. They are very normal. They have a mom and dad in us. As they get older they'll have questions and we'll explain. I want them to grow up as normal as possible. I won't burden them with the decisions of Thier idiot parents.