Grrrrrrr. And they never seem to wise up, either.
Our counselor is working through the pain that the kids feel when their bios let them down over and over and over and over.
Our eldest is almost "there" with accepting the reality of the situation. But the middle one is still struggling - she'll be going to individual counseling soon, too.

Why can't they just stop causing so much pain, tearing open old wounds. Ugh!

Because it is all about them......so so sad to say....

Pinky called and asked to speak with me, and wanted to know how things were going with the kids and when she could see them again. Where could I ever begin? I basically told her that it was too complicated, the kids are struggling with too much crap, etc.

She acknowledged that it was her fault, and she'd sort of say the right things but it was obvious that she just doesn't "get it" at all. Not even a little bit. I was amazed at how calm I was with her, because really, all I wanted to do was slap her right through the phone.

Thank you for letting me vent:)

Since our kids were babies we never tell them they're parents are visiting. Until they were actually there. Surprise! It was a rule no talk about visiting or that you plan to visit. As a matter of fact they hardly ever talk on the phone. So my kids have never been disappointed. Not once. We have, although I have to admit to jumping up and down if they didn't make it:)

dianaconroy, I'm not upset she's not coming. I'm upset that I actually stressed about her telling us she wanted to work toward having gd come to live with her. Then she caused a ton of stress for me during her first visit with gd in 2 years (all on my birthday and start of my vacation). I feel like a sucker!

I get it. Visits can mean the beginning of the unthinkable like them fooling the system into believing that Thier doing all the right things to get Thier kids back. If on the other hand they were I'm sure every single one if us would be for reunification. But once to many times we see the grey acting in the courtroom and then everything goes back to how things were, the drugs, bad associations, neglect, ect and all of if is done for Thier own interest - government assistance. The best interest of the kids is the last thin on Thier minds.

I know that Pinky realizes she'll never get her kids back. At this point it would be too late - they've been with us 10 years and she hasn't done one single thing that she would have to do to even THINK about getting them back.

The visitation is the only hanging issue. I wish we never saw her again, but the kids are conflicted about it. So I suppose we'll leave that up to each counselor.

Why don't they just go away and never come back?????