Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
My daughter[bio-mom] calls here all the time,several times a day.She tells me that she loves me and sometimes asks about the oldest child,but never about the youngest.On her FACEBOOK and MYSPACE pages she mentions the oldest but not the youngest.When I talked to her about signing over her rights,I had to tell her the youngest childs b'day and full name so she could give them to her lawyer.Her lawyer called me and asked about him.He told me that she told him that I said this baby was hers but she didn't think so but she needed to sign her rights to both so we could adopt.I had to fax him a copy of his birth certificate so he could see for himself what was going on.
I know that this child was born with alot of drugs in his system and she is bipolar.Do you all think it is possible that she doesn't remember giving birth to him? Could she have really forgotten a whole 9 months and the birth of her child? He was born by c-section and taken from her straight to ICU.She has never seen him except in pictures.I do send picures to her of the boys and her friends have told me that she tells them that he is her little brother even when they know better.I have had several of them to ask me about it and I don't know what to tell them except that he is her biological child.At first I thought she was just pretending not to remember him but now I'm not so sure.The DCS worker for her little girl in foster care in ILL called me and asked me for info on her asked how many children she had,when I told her 3 counting the baby she said why does she say she has 2.When I said I don't know she[the worker]got all confused and told me that surely a woman would know if she had another child.She had to call DCS here and ask them how many she had.I guess to varify that I was telling the trueth.
The boys know about her,know who she is when they see her picture and they are getting older now.How do I explain to the little one that she doesnt remember him?She will talk to both boys on the phone and she refers to herself a 'sissy' to them both and they call her 'belly mommy'[I'm Mommy]She tells me that she will let me adopt Jose[the oldest] because she wouldn't never hurt him by taking him away from us when we are all he has ever known but it took some talking to her to get her to sign papers for Jasin[little one] too because she says he is not hers,that I gave birth to him.How do I deal with this?It all sounds crazy I know!
I know that this child was born with alot of drugs in his system and she is bipolar.Do you all think it is possible that she doesn't remember giving birth to him? Could she have really forgotten a whole 9 months and the birth of her child? He was born by c-section and taken from her straight to ICU.She has never seen him except in pictures.I do send picures to her of the boys and her friends have told me that she tells them that he is her little brother even when they know better.I have had several of them to ask me about it and I don't know what to tell them except that he is her biological child.At first I thought she was just pretending not to remember him but now I'm not so sure.The DCS worker for her little girl in foster care in ILL called me and asked me for info on her asked how many children she had,when I told her 3 counting the baby she said why does she say she has 2.When I said I don't know she[the worker]got all confused and told me that surely a woman would know if she had another child.She had to call DCS here and ask them how many she had.I guess to varify that I was telling the trueth.
The boys know about her,know who she is when they see her picture and they are getting older now.How do I explain to the little one that she doesnt remember him?She will talk to both boys on the phone and she refers to herself a 'sissy' to them both and they call her 'belly mommy'[I'm Mommy]She tells me that she will let me adopt Jose[the oldest] because she wouldn't never hurt him by taking him away from us when we are all he has ever known but it took some talking to her to get her to sign papers for Jasin[little one] too because she says he is not hers,that I gave birth to him.How do I deal with this?It all sounds crazy I know!
But to actually forget that you had a child, that's clinical something-or-other for sure. I don't think she should be parenting anyone until her problem is sorted out!
I too haven't heard and quite frankly didn't understand how anyone could say they weren't pregnant, so I went searching to see if I could find something out. I emailed you what I found.... let me know if you can't get the links... Best wishes dear
I'm a new member. Been reading this list for about 6 months but this message spurred me to finally join and write. Yup, I think it's entirely possible that your DD doesn't fully remember being PG or giving birth to the baby. My DD (bio) also has BP (I've been on a BP list for 14 years) and a drug problem. Your DD not remembering and insisting she is not the bio is certainly extreme but not out of the relm of possibility. If she were fully manic with a drug problem during conception, pregnancy, and the birth then all bets are off as to what she will or will not remember. Since she's never seen the child then part of it could be that it's an abstract concept in her brain. People with BP tend to have to deal in concretes. And people with BP (nevermind with drug problems, too) also tend to live only in "today." I'd guess she's convinced herself that she's not the bio. Yes, it's "crazy." People with symptomatic BP are crazy. To deal with it, just do what you've been doing and "prove it out" to those who need to know. You're not going to convince her of the facts and you'll wear yourself out trying. As for dealing with it with the little one, explain that "sissy" has a boo-boo in her brain and that's why she acts the way she does.
I, too, was going to say that you should just adopt him and be his mother. Someday you can give the old "she just wasn't able to care for you" rationale. The forgetting part is just too weird even for adults to grasp, let alone, children. And once you adopt, the whole problem is solved because you ARE his mom.