Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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snowshoe60 04/14/2015

I had to take my youngest for his annual physical yesterday and it was the first time since the adoption that I didn't know how to address myself. We have to sign a paper and and put the relationship to the patient down when we go in. I asked them what to put down. It is so hard going from Grandmother to mother in a blink of an eye. If I am that confused , I can't imagine what it is like to be the child. There is so much to get used to. Do you ever get used to it ?

daisydduck 04/14/2015

You should have birth certificate with you listed as parents. You are now mom.....again. let the child call you what is comfortable. After our adoption our grandson started calling us mom and dad. Therapist said it was important for him to have stability. It is an adjustment but one that is needed.

nutsandbolts 04/14/2015

Snow, I remember the first time I placed mother on the relationship form. It was really confusing, sad and happy at the same time. His doctor knew the adoption was coming so the staff was excited when we came in. It takes some time to get use to it, it's not something you fill out everyday, so getting use to it takes time.

SaraBT 04/14/2015

I will have to use mom on all legal forms, but as far as the kids go nothing has changed. They can call my husband and me whatever they want, and they'll still call Pinky "Mommy," I'm sure.

Hope4Delaney 04/14/2015

Wow ladies, I can't even imagine! So happy for all of you! I'm sure filling out forms will take getting used to. (((HUGS)))

I'd be happy if my GD called me anything. Once I heard her telling someone I was her "guardian." Ugh.

horsepad 04/14/2015

I asked my girls what they wanted to call me after the adoption and they said grandma because that is what they have always called me. I introduce them as my granddaughters and sign unimportant papers as grandma. They know I am there "mom" and I will always be there for them.

LucilleM 04/16/2015

Quite a change and like a lot of new things it will take time. I'm still adjusting to be sole caretaker and grandma for my grandkids.

Congratulations -- I think the kids will call you what makes them feel comfortable.

snowshoe60 04/17/2015

It's not so much what the kids call me. I don't mind whatever they choose. It's more of what do I call myself . When filling out papers what do I put , Mom or Grandmother ? I could go around and around on this . I am happy to have adopted them , but grandparents shouldn't be put in this situation. I know legally we are mom and dad now, but their bio dad is still in the picture. Don't mind me , some days I just can't think and nothing makes sense to me.

redheadfrog 04/17/2015

Currently, we are still guardian grandparents but are in the process of adopting. For about a year now our gd has alternated between calling us grammy / papa and mommy / dad. She is only 4 and my feelings are that she sees the relationship other kids have with their parents and knows this is our role. She speaks with her bio on the phone and calls her mama.

I have a friend that adopted a child. They've had him since birth and he calls his bio mama "first name". He calls his adoptive parents mom and dad.

SaraBT 04/20/2015

Snow, I think we have to put "mother" and "father" on any forms we fill out, if only for legal reasons. Bureaucracies tend to get easily confused, and if the title doesn't match titles on other papers things could get bogged down in the system.

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