What a terrible position tone in! Have faith that God will see you through this. I would tell your caught you love her and will help her to get into a program where she can get help. Tell her it is best for her children not to see her at this time. If she loves her kids perhaps that will be her motivation to turn her life around. You are carrying a heavy burden. God bless you.

I am not sure what things are like in you state but this is what happened 4 years ago. XDIL, son and kids had been living with me xDIL was in and out of places to get off the drugs but would check herself out after a few days. I finally told her she was not to return to my home unless she had an extended stay. Her rehab counselor had a meeting with her and I and I flat down refused. She had no where to go. They found her a place to go for and extended stay. She go kicked out and they sent her someplace else. I guess she realized I was serious and stayed there for almost 6 weeks. I still refused to let her back until she tested clean a total of 4 months. Not long enough. A month after coming back to my homecI asked for a drug test and she refused and took the kids and left. Two weeks later they tried to give the kids to her crazy mother, DCF said no way, and her father and stepcmom ended up with guardianship for two years.

I guess what I am trying to say is as hard as it is sometime we just have to say NO as hard as it is for us. As long as we offer them a safety net we are not helping them and hurting ourselves and the grandkids. Other then a ride to a hospital or rehab xDIL gets nothing from me or her father, her step mother is still having a hard time doing that but will not allow her in her home. Her step dad is still not there yet, he will provide money if she asks.

I agree with Grammy. I'm sure it kills my husband, but he and I decided long ago that Pinky is on her own NO MATTER WHAT. She has been to at least five rehabs, attended meetings, been detoxed countless times. She has lived with virtually every relative, friend, homeless shelter, halfway house - and still she uses.

There is, at this point, absolutely NOTHING that anyone can do to stop her from using, help her, etc. Any "help" that is provided only ends up causing harm to those who try to help. We have friends whose marriage broke up because of the constant attempts to help their child. The marriage is gone, and the kid is still using.

I agree with Grammy and Daisy, either way it take the pressure off of you and puts it back on her. She will never change until she wants to. Good luck and God bless you.

update My ex picked her up and took her to a Psych Hospital. She has not been to my home for a vistis since I stopped them 5 months ago. She will not call me for help I made it clear years ago that unless she was in a inpatient rehab I would help her. This is why she calls her father. She has been admited (committed to the County Psych Hospital. She admitted to taking 10 Xanax and 20 other pills I don't knowthe name of. She also said she has been doing Methadone before that Heroin. I have not talked with her. I will go and see her when see is able to have visitors. I have to have a talk with my 9 year old. I have a whole another story with him. I will share later. I dont see an end to my daughters addiction. The only reason for the out reach of help now is because the boyfreind and her got into a fight.