Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
ddmom told me, in an unconcerned matter of fact totally oblivious kind of way, that her boyfriend was getting the shakes when he didn't drink.
So now I am inclined to believe that this new boyfriend of the rocky relationship is an alcoholic. ddmom thinks I'm crazy and says he isn't but I grew up around AA and alanon and I don't believe non alcoholics get physically addicted to alcohol. She thinks Im over reacting and he's not an alcoholic because he doesnt hit her! ( her last boyfriend was abusive) She told me he has cut down to only 1 a day, but I'm not buying that, I think she's trying to cover because of my reaction to his shakes.
He brought her home last night, they were arguing because he was going out with his boss, and she wanted to go too. He smelled like a brewery, and I told him my opinion of drinking and driving, he insisted he had only had one, but I was standing 5 feet away when the smell hit. I told ddmom she wasn't going anywhere with him since he is drinking. She was angry and told me he had only had 1 and a half beers. Well, he drinks those really huge cans that are bigger than 2 normal sized cans combied.
This is the guy she has been talking about dating for several months, marrying, and he says he would adopt my grandson!!! Originaaly I thought he was great, he's outgoing, sweet and puts up with her controlling outbursts.
I don't know what to do about this new info. The good news is, I am receiving legal and phsical custody of my grandson in August, due to the fact my ddmom is 17 and jobless and his father hit him when he was only 5 weeks old. SHe has to petition the court for changeing custody to herself when she can prove she can fully support and take care of him. ("upon substantial and material changes the defendant can petition the court for a change in custody")
So do I just sit back and relax and wait for this relationship to hopefully self destruct, or start a war by telling him he can't come over here. ( I have found beer bottles in my house on 3 occasions in the last 3 months, and I did tell him not to bring that crap over to my house. I informed him ddmom is underage, and the judge will see it as I do, he is old enough to know better at)
The last time they broke up, my duaghter completely lost it and I was actually concerned she might hurt herself. She cut half of her hair off and was talking crazy. I know she needs to see someone, but she refuses to talk to anyone.
So now I am inclined to believe that this new boyfriend of the rocky relationship is an alcoholic. ddmom thinks I'm crazy and says he isn't but I grew up around AA and alanon and I don't believe non alcoholics get physically addicted to alcohol. She thinks Im over reacting and he's not an alcoholic because he doesnt hit her! ( her last boyfriend was abusive) She told me he has cut down to only 1 a day, but I'm not buying that, I think she's trying to cover because of my reaction to his shakes.
He brought her home last night, they were arguing because he was going out with his boss, and she wanted to go too. He smelled like a brewery, and I told him my opinion of drinking and driving, he insisted he had only had one, but I was standing 5 feet away when the smell hit. I told ddmom she wasn't going anywhere with him since he is drinking. She was angry and told me he had only had 1 and a half beers. Well, he drinks those really huge cans that are bigger than 2 normal sized cans combied.
This is the guy she has been talking about dating for several months, marrying, and he says he would adopt my grandson!!! Originaaly I thought he was great, he's outgoing, sweet and puts up with her controlling outbursts.
I don't know what to do about this new info. The good news is, I am receiving legal and phsical custody of my grandson in August, due to the fact my ddmom is 17 and jobless and his father hit him when he was only 5 weeks old. SHe has to petition the court for changeing custody to herself when she can prove she can fully support and take care of him. ("upon substantial and material changes the defendant can petition the court for a change in custody")
So do I just sit back and relax and wait for this relationship to hopefully self destruct, or start a war by telling him he can't come over here. ( I have found beer bottles in my house on 3 occasions in the last 3 months, and I did tell him not to bring that crap over to my house. I informed him ddmom is underage, and the judge will see it as I do, he is old enough to know better at)
The last time they broke up, my duaghter completely lost it and I was actually concerned she might hurt herself. She cut half of her hair off and was talking crazy. I know she needs to see someone, but she refuses to talk to anyone.
At 17 she does not have a clue to real life. If he is getting the shakes then he is addicted no matter what she says.
To me he is even more dangerous to her because she does not think he is abusing her by willing to drink and drive with her in the car.
I bet there is more wrong with him and if you wait she will disclose other things that are bothering her.
Unfortunately, I am afraid that 17 year old girls have to find out things the hard way it seems. He would not be bringing the alcohol around the house where my grandchild lives though, and he sure would not be providing it to my underage daughter with my knowledge. If you do not expect her to obey the law for underage drinking, then why would she have to obey any custody order?
I guess it's time for one last talk to mr.boyfriend and ddmom.
I no its probably not a good attitude but even if she does try to hurt herself it is (in my experience personal/professional) unlikely to be really really serious (sometimes it shocks them into taking a look at there life! not always though- no offence meant).
regards sue