Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I'm so sorry for the length of my post...
I went out of town for work for about six days. While I was gone, gd asked me to take her bear with me. I sent pics of me and the bear daily and called twice a day. My daughter caught wind of this and said, I dont know what she going to do when she comes to live with me, shes not going to be happy.
Daughter left two years ago and move out of state with a new guy, got pregnant and now has a 7 month old. Shes visited twice within six months of leaving but hasnt seen her daughter in a year and a half. And the last time she was here, she only put her to bed once, didnt want to disrupt our routine, and one night she was so messed up on pills she couldnt sit up (btw, she was two months pregnant at the time and I had no clue). And gd got sick while she was here, threw up, my dd did NOTHING! Just stood there, of course gd was crying and holding on to me for dear life.
She calls tonight talking about how she wants us to meet her half way and shell take gd for a weekend. I cannot leave the room without my gd looking for me, she will cry if she cannot find me. I said, what if she freaks out? She said, well Ill call you and you can come get her? WHAT? How the heck does she think gd is going to go stay with her? I express my concern and tell her I wont let her take her and we need to make a slow transition. We can come out and stay for a weekend and see how gd take us leaving the house. She lost it. Told me she talked to a counselor and the counselor told her that is crazy, shes the mother and gd shouldnt have a problemI said did you tell them you have been gone for 2 years?
Then she proceeds to tell me how she doesnt feel like shes my daughter, I dont love her and I never say I miss her?!? WHAT? Im sorry, but I dont miss the drugs, the theft or the violence! Then she tells me that she can come get her and just take her?!? I said we have guardianship. She said it was for only 90 daystemporary. I said, did you forget we went to court? She came up just to sign the papers for the guardianship because she didnt want to court to order it against her?!? She said, so now I have to fight you? I just told her, no, but you need to make some type of effortI cannot do everything. She proceeds to tell me how she doesnt have the money to come here or a car that will make it. And she doesnt have a phone, she uses her boyfriends phone and he takes it when he goes to work. Im just beside myself, I feel like she only wants gd for the government dollars! She still smokes pot daily and doesnt think its a problem. CPS was called when the new child was born because the boyfriend slapped her. She called crying and wanted to come home. I offered to bring them here and she would need to go to a womens shelter and get herself straight and counseling. She yelled at me and hung up the phone.
Im just terrified, I know she cannot just come and get my gd and I dont think shell go to court but am not sure. I wouldnt mind giving gd back if she had made some effort over the past year and a half other than a weekly phone call. And she got pregnant while we had gd.
Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.
I went out of town for work for about six days. While I was gone, gd asked me to take her bear with me. I sent pics of me and the bear daily and called twice a day. My daughter caught wind of this and said, I dont know what she going to do when she comes to live with me, shes not going to be happy.
Daughter left two years ago and move out of state with a new guy, got pregnant and now has a 7 month old. Shes visited twice within six months of leaving but hasnt seen her daughter in a year and a half. And the last time she was here, she only put her to bed once, didnt want to disrupt our routine, and one night she was so messed up on pills she couldnt sit up (btw, she was two months pregnant at the time and I had no clue). And gd got sick while she was here, threw up, my dd did NOTHING! Just stood there, of course gd was crying and holding on to me for dear life.
She calls tonight talking about how she wants us to meet her half way and shell take gd for a weekend. I cannot leave the room without my gd looking for me, she will cry if she cannot find me. I said, what if she freaks out? She said, well Ill call you and you can come get her? WHAT? How the heck does she think gd is going to go stay with her? I express my concern and tell her I wont let her take her and we need to make a slow transition. We can come out and stay for a weekend and see how gd take us leaving the house. She lost it. Told me she talked to a counselor and the counselor told her that is crazy, shes the mother and gd shouldnt have a problemI said did you tell them you have been gone for 2 years?
Then she proceeds to tell me how she doesnt feel like shes my daughter, I dont love her and I never say I miss her?!? WHAT? Im sorry, but I dont miss the drugs, the theft or the violence! Then she tells me that she can come get her and just take her?!? I said we have guardianship. She said it was for only 90 daystemporary. I said, did you forget we went to court? She came up just to sign the papers for the guardianship because she didnt want to court to order it against her?!? She said, so now I have to fight you? I just told her, no, but you need to make some type of effortI cannot do everything. She proceeds to tell me how she doesnt have the money to come here or a car that will make it. And she doesnt have a phone, she uses her boyfriends phone and he takes it when he goes to work. Im just beside myself, I feel like she only wants gd for the government dollars! She still smokes pot daily and doesnt think its a problem. CPS was called when the new child was born because the boyfriend slapped her. She called crying and wanted to come home. I offered to bring them here and she would need to go to a womens shelter and get herself straight and counseling. She yelled at me and hung up the phone.
Im just terrified, I know she cannot just come and get my gd and I dont think shell go to court but am not sure. I wouldnt mind giving gd back if she had made some effort over the past year and a half other than a weekly phone call. And she got pregnant while we had gd.
Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.
From what you say it will not happen because it will cost money. She will have to pay to file, pay to have you served, pay to travel to the court, pay for the supervised visit, etc. The only time a parent goes through with this is when they REALLY want to see their child, when the child is more important then drug money.
I'm going through same thing, go through it over and over