You are doing a lot for her, you are raising her kids. I understand the conflicted feeling but you can not do everything, if she has complications there is nothing you can do other then pray which you can do while you sit at home and hug the children you are raising. The doctors will be the ones she will need to count on to help her though any complications. She can also count on the man that was stupid enough to have a child with her.

Yup I have no patience with people today. Hopefully the doctor will sterilize her before she leaves the hospital.

Scgramma, I would ask myself the hard question Would you be doing it to help your daughter feel better or to make yourself feel better? And how and why would being there make you feel better, regardless of how it turns out? These are questions that only you and your spouse can answer, but maybe they'll help you decide.

As Grammy22 says, prayer works whether you're right there or 3000 miles away. But remember that, God forbid something goes wrong, it would not be your fault - therefore, there should be nothing for you to feel guilty about. Sad, yes. Guilty? No. Your daughter has made the choices every time - and one of them was to not be there for her children - children you are raising.

But that's just my opinion. :-)

If you are asking for advice, I would say do what will feel ok for you. If you stay away to keep your distance, and you are yearning to be there, that will feel awful. If you are there, and it's awful you can keep your distance. Go with your gut and trust your gut.

No matter how old we want to hold them and make it better. If you go you will probably just be sitting there. Don't underestimate the value of the love and care you give her children. My daughter was going out of state for chemo to save her life. I went with her on 2nd trip and felt helpless. We arranged for my mom to go with her and I stayed home to watch her son. I agree....follow your gut.

My dd had preeclampsia with our gd...she's had high blood pressure for many years prior to getting pregnant, not to mention drug use, eating only fast food and no prenatal visits. When she got pregnant with the second, she lives out of state, she pressured me to come and when I said I could not because we are caring for her daughter and cannot afford it, she said "what if something happens to me?"

I was terrified to go and just as terrified to stay. But my gut said, don't go. Glad I didn't, her boyfriend was arrested because he slapped her in the hospital while holding their newborn. Then the calls for us to come get her and her newborn son came directly after. I told her we would come get her, bring the baby home and check her into a woman's shelter, to which she yelled at me and said "who the f*ck wants to go to a woman's shelter" and hung up.

Go with your gut and pray a lot!

Only reason for not going was trying to keep my distance. I tried to keep distance from gd, but when it came apparent that her mom couldn't or wouldn't keep her safe I stepped up. I did have to pray to God to give me he love I needed to be. Able to work through gd temper fits rages and insecurities . I know God did so as we love each other intensely, as much as my gs I've raised .
Therefore I know staying my distance is useless at best.
I will be climbing the walls with worry if I don't go, she's a nut from a tree of nuts , not a drug addict, I like the bf and hope it works out , he seems good with kids and non violent. Just don't know if she can have a relationship cause she's needy and demanding , if anyone got slapped it would be him - I've heard she's done it to other guys.

If she asked me to bring her home answers NO. She actually asked me to bring kids and I already told her no way.

My gd was crying one day and I asked her why, she said "because you didn't see me when I was a baby. "
I broke out the picture album, pointed to our furniture , told her she didn't remember. It she lived with me as a baby too. She's lived off and on, more here than elsewhere. She was soo happy when I showed her. I think she just wanted to know I've always been here for her and always will be .

And here comes Gabriel, and I'm crazy enough to raise him too so hiding is useless.

Praying for you scgramma.

SCgramma: Do you feel confident that Childrens Services will let her take the new baby home? I know you are feeling pretty good about the dad involved. What will you do if Childrens Services does not let her have Gabriel. And would being there or not being there change your decision? I have to wonder about the new guy - what will it be like when the honeymoon period is over.